Welcome to Gaia! ::

One of my favorite things to do is just sit down and have a conversation with someone, that is actually how I came to find Buddhism. When I was in the military I went through training with a First Gen american who always called himself Twinkie, it means although he is Asian on the outside he has accepted white culture more than his own.

We were going through combat training and doing some extreme classes at the time that were dealing with the war and how to treat women and children. It is a really hard classes and nearly 10% of people fail it the first time through, half of those people leave the military permanately because they can't handle what it's about. He always just liked to sit and talk and he really pulled my mind away from everything that I was doing and helped set me on my path.

That's what I would like to open this up for, not for direct questiuons about the faith and how it relates to life. Just conversation about life itself. If you try to live someone else's life and do things just the way they did you will never achieve anything, you have to live your own life everyday.

Personally I don't see it as being something you can view, that would be like some describing the entire order of events that leads to what they have become. There are so many indiscribably small details that will influence your life that a broad look just can't give you a real look. Life is the most intricate and diverse thing in the universe not only because of the scientific qualifications for it to exist but then our own psychological and emotional influences make it so much more.

People are my favorite thing, because no matter how much people are alike their are and infinate amount of differences between them. I don't want to sound like a stalker here but sit down at your local mall one day and just watch people, you'll notice that within any group the wide range of personas and individuality that helps to make the group come together.

6,692,030,277 people in the world and no matter how many groups or forms of conformity are accepted r enforced their are 6,692,030,277 individuals.

I don't quite know about that, if I did everything because it made me happy I would live a pretty poor life and maybe that's the way it was meant to be. I don't clean because it makes me happy, I do it because I detest filth and I feel ashamed if someone sees my house in an uproar. But their are a multitude of ways I can see you linking that back to my initial happiness.

I wouldn't say it's because I know or hope it will make me happy, everything I do is because I know or hope that it is the right thing to do and it will make someone else happy. I would rather pass on the smiles and warm feelings in hopes that they will keep on spreading. Like up in chicago last month some guy noticed a family being very carefully about what they ordered because of how much money they had so when he finished he bought his own meal and then payed for theirs. When they found out what had happened they payed for someone else's meal. It went on for nearly twelve hours at this little dinner before they closed and the last person gave their full check as a tip to one waitress. It's things like that, losing my money would make me unhappy I am very stingy but if I knew it would make someone else happy for just a brief moment I might part with it.

As for the horrible people, I don't think it is because it makes them happy, I think it just shows them how much power they hold and that power is what makes them happy. Like a murderer who kills just because he could, it isn't the action it is the freedom that makes him happy. He is no longer bound by anyone's rules, he can do anything and everytime he does it, it just shows him the power he holds even brighter.

But that would just be my personal outlook on the subject.

lol, I'm forced to release my ego on the mats. I'm strong and skilled but there is always someone better or more skilled, I got taken down by a 95 lb girl last week. That required quite a bit of maturity to handle seeing as I have been fighting for the last 8 years.

For a little help with the smoking buy almonds, and tell yourslef everyday that it is only psychological. In four days your body actually pushes all of the negative chemicals out of your system and you are completely free, the rest of the struggle is with your mind. Almonds also do something with natural chemical production and help push you off of the habit. My mom quit just a couple months ago and those two things helped the most.


I'm pretty humble to start with, but inside of the ring it is all about seeing how far I can push my body and that always breeds a little bit of ego. I broke out of my instructors guillotine choke hold two weeks ago by actually bending my back all the way over and naturally I was a little uppity after that but it always fades. I don't carry it around because I know what kind of person that can turn you into over time, I like who I am just fine so I only enjoy it in the moment and then let it pass. Although the thing with the girl has been a little troubling, I've lost thirteen straight matches just because of our vastly different styles. I know based on the different areas we have both learned that it is innevitable that she will win, but I still always wanna try. I don't know if it's ego or trying to prove ones self it is just one of those things that I feel like I should accomplish for me.