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Undesired Desire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:15 pm
Just a heads up before you read this massive block of text: This isn't in the present time. This is about two thousand years ahead of now, after the apocalypse. The only technology recovered were weapons and vehicles, along with a few various computer like objects.
Also, this is a segment of two different chapters that is modified to make sense as an exert. It is 670 words long. I had my computer count them for you. It is in the middle of the book, but it is the closest thing to love that I have. The two characters hated each other.
Rhona is an astro-body. In other words, she's dead. Sort of. She's bound by this stone that enables her to have a body for just a little while longer, until the stone is destroyed. She had the stone in her life, but was killed when someone stole it. The stone grants immortality, as a sort of philosopher's stone. The man who she falls in love with has a brother. His Brother is the one who has the stone. This will make sense when she talks to Raiden.
If there are any more questions you have about the story, ask. In the mean time, Enjoy.
Rhona woke to a gentle warm breeze through her hair. She was dazed as to where she was, then remembered the terrible scene she had discovered last night. She knew she had slept on the chest of her dead comrade. A tear slid down her cheek. “I loved you,” she whispered in his ear. “And I never knew it until you were gone.” She left a kiss on his still lips and left with his Eagle and Saiga, knowing she had to find Dallas and kill him herself. From the information she found in his journal, he had the stone fragments. The very fragments she needed. He also had the Tenseiga 12. She could end her search, end the war, and seek he revenge. Once finished, she can end her life as well. First, she had to head home. The trek across the ghost town of Chicago took her all day. She came up to the marble structure as the sun was setting in the distance. The once glorious building that gleamed in all light now looked abandoned and in ruin. Sorrow wrenched at her heart, she knew that this building would fall without her precious magic to sustain it. All of her grandfather's hard work would go to waste, with her gone. She pushed open the heavy doors and made her way inside. It was empty, quiet. She was too exhausted to care about what ever was lurking in the shadows or in the exhibits. She Dispersed to her apartment and walked through the living room (now coated in a layer of dust) to her bedroom where she collapsed on her bed. Things creaked and shifted throughout the museum, she couldn't sleep. She missed having the comfort of Raiden close by, a tear slid down her cheek as she remembered the last night she spent with him. She clutched her Postschutz as she heard something settle below her. Fear and sorrow gripped at her mind, she thought she heard her trap door creak open. Footsteps tracked across the living room floor as she replaced the dagger with Raiden's Desert Eagle. She aimed for her door, waiting for it to open. The handle slowly rotated, sweat drenched her forehead sticking her hair to her face. “You need to relax,” a voice whispered in her ear. “You'll never sleep like this.” She pointed the gun in the direction of the voice. She found a warm hand on hers, taking the weapon from her grasp. “Raiden?” she whispered half hopeful, half afraid. She squinted into the darkness, trying to make out the silhouette. “Does it matter?” he asked, she knew his eyebrow was arched. She let a laugh escape. “I was terrified,” she whispered. “I know. You're safe now,” he answered, sitting on the edge of her bed. “You're dead,” she stated coolly. He took her hand again, she felt the warmth as she did when she lay with him for the last time. “Does it really matter?” he asked again. “We're one in the same now,” she told herself. “Neither dead or alive. Just existing.” “In a way, but again we're both dead and alive are we not?” he replied. “What?” she asked, confused. “How can that be?” “I made a promise,” he replied. He pulled her to him once more. “I have something to protect.”
Rhona woke up to a small shimmer of golden sunlight through her curtains. She looked to where she remembered seeing Raiden, he wasn't there. The Eagle was on the side table, but there was no man to comfort her. She sighed deeply as she got out of bed. She walked into the living room, it was empty as well. There wasn't any sign of entry, there weren't any footprints in the dust other than hers. She concluded he was just an illusion of her sorrow and fear. He didn't visit her, he didn't pull the gun from her hands, and he wasn't alive. She just hoped he was. Tears once more slid down her face.
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:52 am
Wow I really liked the characters of Rhona and Raiden... and the emotions of the characters really rang true for me. From my impression of reading the excerpt it would seem that both were too headstrong to admit their love for each other... until it was too late for Raiden. I hope that they'll be reunited in the end but ah that's just me... I'm a sucker for happy endings. biggrin
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Undesired Desire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:33 pm
Thanks, there's another exert somewhere around this guild... I think it's in the fight scene thread. But that's just my memory, I don't remember.
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:45 pm
Yup, it was indeed in the Fight Scene Thread.
And I agree with FireDancer, it is really really good! I would love to read more!
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Undesired Desire Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:58 pm
Thanks, but as I have said in the fight thread, there is ten chapters and I am still working on it! I may post segments of it here and there, but other than that there is just too much to post all of the story.
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