|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:16 pm
Give me your real opinion on this and be brutal its jsut a free verse poem i wrote
As time passes our body will fade but not our spirits Your will always have a place in my heart no matter what. We are kindred spirits that will be separated by fate But for the passes week we build a connection that cant be broken.
We love the same things t.v. shows, manga and music In life we act the same - we hide our feelings from everyone We hide in our room and find ways to express our feelings.
I did the most idiotic thing when I made that promise To keep us separated for the rest of our days.
I will always think of you, everyday as the days go by I will think of you whenever I listen to music, watch tv, But i will remember you most when I watch Alice in Wonderland.
I will always love you no matter what but I'm a man of my word and I have to keep this promise - or go away against my moral I'm sorry but i cant do that.
Alice, I will always think of you
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:26 pm
I actually thought that was pretty good, also you have a few minor misspellings.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 8:25 pm
it was okay, but honestly, it could use a little work :3 i dont mean that in a bad way, its cute, it is, but im just giving critisim
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:08 pm
i love it. you are speaking from the heart. a poem doesn't need to rhyme. keep working, you'll be great.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:20 pm
I like it alot....It kinda reminds me of someone I absolutley adore....
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|