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Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:51 pm
Hi, people. This is the first topic here (aside from the rules). So, I thought we should start with a light topic... nothing like euthanasia ("mercy killing") or whatever.
The situation is, you've been friends with someone for the longest time. Then, you become group mates, and her bossy side begins to show. She puts down your ideas, make you feel stupid.
Should you confront her or keep mum about it?
People, please take just one side. And, please don't just say "yes" or "no".
Just to be systematic about it, indicate in your first post what side you're on.
Confront! [-Laydee~Skittles-] TheGiftMistress Gigabyte Iccolo
Keep mum! Maypole Ribbons
(I'll wait for someone else to post before deciding what side I'm on. XD)
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:23 am
I think you should confront her. However, waiting a little doesn't hurt too much. See how it goes and whether it is just get worse. And then definitely take action.
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 9:38 am
This is a difficult one for me to comment on, since I certainly believe that you should confront the friend. It would not be fair of her to treat you that way!
However, I'm really shy, and tend to watn everyone to get alogn, so if it was me, I'd keep on suffering, daring not to say anything.
I'm a hypocrite though, as if I was saying it to someone else, I would certainly tell them to confront.
So I'm with confront 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:01 am
Indeed, same here Gifty. I'm a quiet, shy person. So, I usually don't say anything to the person. But I also seek advice from close friends.
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Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:15 am
That's my problem too, I would never speak to my friends. I only ever speak to Tom.
Before him, I told nothing to no one eek sweatdrop
My friends have always been quite loud, so I used to be in that situation a lot and I'm ashamed to say, I never said anything, though I know I should have sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:31 am
I've been slowly distancing myself from my friends lately. So same again, I only talk to Gigs about these things these days. ):
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Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:18 pm
Confront, its wrong to be treated that way. Also confronting will strengthen the realtionship. Arguements show peoples true colours. And also give you a better understanding of how the person thinks and stuff.
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Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:24 am
you should confront her if she is a true friend she will understand
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Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:26 am
For the sake of argument (since this is a debate XD), allow me to take the "keep mum" side.
I think there are some important things to remember: 1) that the person involved is your friend, and 2) the situation arose from your becoming group mates.
@Collie: It's idealistic to think she would understand. You're friends, so you'll be the last person she'll expect an "attack" from. When you DO confront her, there's no guarantee she'll listen. She may just feel betrayed. And, that would sever your friendship...
@Giga: I agree that it's wrong to be treated "that way." But, consider the period of time you'll be subject to it: just until the group work/project is accomplished. Are you willing to risk a friendship just because of a short-term experience?
Regarding the "better understanding of the person" bit: Is how a person acts when grades are involved a valid measure of the person's character?
@Skittles and TGM: You've both mentioned you're of the shy type. Given that, are you both sure about "confront"? rofl (The friend I'm talking about is the non-confrontational type... As in, she freaks out upon being told someone's the least bit annoyed with her. I think shy people have more or less the same reasons as non-confrontational people. So, I'd really love to hear why you're pro-"confront".)
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Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:16 am
I'm for confronting because I know it's the right thing to do. I may be shy and quiet. However, I still know that this is the right way of dealing with the problem.
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Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:05 am
Like I mentioned before, I am the shy type myself and therefore put in that situation would actually keep quiet about it, though I do not think that is the right thing to do.
My beliefs differ strongly with what I'd actually do myself.
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