Welcome to Gaia! ::

Just to let you know, I am a girl. I am asking/writing about my partner.

First we have been together for 3 years. he is 21. i am 19, will be 20 later in the year.

In the past 20 months or so, he has put on heaps of weight, I wouldn't say he was fat but he is bigger we have had to buy new clothes for him.
Justin, he gets really depressed about being bigger. He goes on a "diet" doesn't eat and then crashes in a binge. I am trying to help him but I am not sure of what to say...

Our house mate Jamie. he used to be fat. Last year he lost alot of weight. Jamie was diagnosed with Annorexia and he exercised every day for hours on end. Justin sees this and wants to be like Jamie. Everytime he says that, does it I cry. It upsets me and Like I said I don't know what to do or where to start.

Justin said that he is going to get a gym pass and Jamie will do the same routines with him and help him to be like Jamie was... (Jamie is looking good now hes put on some weight and looking semihealthy now).

If you are a guy have you had body image or anything thats happened to you?

Ouch. Poor guy. What has changed in those 6 months that may have caused the weight gain?

Have you looked into diet programs? My mom swears up and down by Weight Watchers, and there is Weight Watchers for men. Try to get him to drink more water instead of soda or fruit juice, and keep fruit in the house instead of grainy snacks. There's also Nutri-system, a pre-portioned meal plan for over-weight men.

If Jaime is going to help him work out, do what you can to make sure that Jaime's help stays at working out. I don't want to seem like I'm accusing Jaime and nor would you, but encouraging him to skip meals and to tell him that if he wants to eat, he needs to work out twice as hard or whatever is not healthy and will likely lead to an eating disorder for Justin.

I think that you may want to also make sure he understands that he's still your baby. Guys have the same self image problems that girls have been trying so hard to get rid of- they need body peace just as much as we do. When he complains about something about him, tell him that's not cool. Tell him to work on himself, but to make peace with who he is for now. It may not be ideal, but the best way to avoid an eating disorder is to look at yourself with a healthy perspective.