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 Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:47 pm
I came here to give advice
but now i end up seeking it
Mayhap my needs will be met
My boyfriend and I of almost a year and a half(april 11th will make it so) are very much in love. He and I are almost alike, and a few differences are always good in my opinion, cause it would be boring not to argue on occasion.
However, my family is of a strict and doctorate following faith called Catholocism. I hate my religion but am forced to follow it because i live in the household. I don't mind being christian, in fact it is usually all I have to lean on at times. But i hate hate hate with a raw passion being Catholic and being forced to follow it. However my brothers didn't have to be it because they had already broken the rules(sex before marriage, interracial marriage.)
My boyfriend happens to be Wiccan(i don't know if anyone's heard of it or not, it's actually pretty interesting), and my mother does not believe he is right for me. ALthough she says she trusts me, she doesn't seem like it whenever he is around. She talks about him negativly all the time, and refuses to even consider me having a future with him. She says we are nothing alike, and refuses to believe me when i say we are.
Yes i am only 16 years old. I have had two or three boyfriends before this one and have quite enough experiance with boys to last me a while.
My boyfriend and i get along because we both have similar pasts. We were both abused as children and our fathers ran out on our families(his father just because he didn't like my boyfriend and his siblings, and mine because he wanted other women). We have a lot in common, and although my boyfriend drives me crazy(due to the fact he is so hard-headed), i love him very much and i know he cares. We both enjoy the same types of music and movies, and we both love dogs to the point of insanity(it's quite amazing really). So my mother is wrong in assuming we have nothing in common.
My question to the masses is, what should i do about the mother. I love her don't get me wrong, but i'm sure i'm going about this the wrong way with her. I have promised i would finish my education before even considering getting married, and i meant it. I have told my boy this as well, and he agrees with my wishes.
She won't budge due to the religion factor and due to her age-old theory, boys are all looking for the same thing
Help? she makes me depressed everytime she puts him down
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:09 pm
Well, she's probably just being close minded and thinks that she wants you to marry a Catholic man. I don't really know what to say. I suppose you could ignore her putting down your BF, or confront her calmly and not angry.
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:17 pm
pinkie13ducky Well, she's probably just being close minded and thinks that she wants you to marry a Catholic man. I don't really know what to say. I suppose you could ignore her putting down your BF, or confront her calmly and not angry. I never get angry with her, i just kinda sit there and take it. I listen and my heart dies because i love her, but i don't want to let go of him. It's a complicated thing. and Catholic men are worse for me cause then they'll expect me to like the religion. What a drag that would be biggrin
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:24 pm
mayaza77 pinkie13ducky Well, she's probably just being close minded and thinks that she wants you to marry a Catholic man. I don't really know what to say. I suppose you could ignore her putting down your BF, or confront her calmly and not angry. I never get angry with her, i just kinda sit there and take it. I listen and my heart dies because i love her, but i don't want to let go of him. It's a complicated thing. and Catholic men are worse for me cause then they'll expect me to like the religion. What a drag that would be biggrin That would defiantly be a drag... I guess I'm not of much help then am I? sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:30 pm
pinkie13ducky mayaza77 pinkie13ducky Well, she's probably just being close minded and thinks that she wants you to marry a Catholic man. I don't really know what to say. I suppose you could ignore her putting down your BF, or confront her calmly and not angry. I never get angry with her, i just kinda sit there and take it. I listen and my heart dies because i love her, but i don't want to let go of him. It's a complicated thing. and Catholic men are worse for me cause then they'll expect me to like the religion. What a drag that would be biggrin That would defiantly be a drag... I guess I'm not of much help then am I? sweatdrop IT's quite all right at least you tried to answer me >.< hopefully other people will come along soon but thanks for trying >.<
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:44 pm
Firmly, but not disrespectfully, that you do not like her disrespecting your boyfriend and would appreciate it if she stopped talking so negatively about him. Just sit her down and talk to her about how this is all making you feel. If she doesn't listen and won't calmly talk to you then you may have to accept that she will never approve our your relationship. It's sad but sometimes harsh reality of close-mindedness.
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:13 am
xXSexologyXx Firmly, but not disrespectfully, that you do not like her disrespecting your boyfriend and would appreciate it if she stopped talking so negatively about him. Just sit her down and talk to her about how this is all making you feel. If she doesn't listen and won't calmly talk to you then you may have to accept that she will never approve our your relationship. It's sad but sometimes harsh reality of close-mindedness. I tried to last night. And you're probably right, she probably won't ever accept it. crying Close minded people are so mean. Oh well. Anyone else have any suggestions on how to deal with this?
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Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:47 am
I believe you've done all you can. She won't accept him for you, but you can deal with it I'm sure.
If he is truely the one for you, she'll just have to go with it because well, he will be the one you need and want.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:43 am
If you love each other, then what else matters? While you're right that it's unfair of your mother to belittle him, you have to, HAVE TO TAKE IT if you want your relationship to work. Yush, it makes you upset if your mom insults him. But there's gotta be pain in a relationship, at least sometimes. Isn't it better if the pain isn't coming from one of you, but from the 3rd party outsiders?
I understand completely about Catholicism; I'm a Catholic too (and I have the nun scars to prove it. Seriously, I have scars). I'm gonna convert (to Baptism) whether or not anyone condones it, mostly because Catholicism looks down on things I believe in. The church is friggin' Republican! I'm Democratic, and support gay marriage & some types of abortion. Yeah...doesn't help that I'm the Religious Coordinator at school...hehe.
^ ^u
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:22 pm
Ah reliogion.. got to love got to hate it.
Yeh nvm..
Is it becuse your mum doesn't want to loose you, or the face she doesn't like Wiccan?? Just tell her how you feel about everything. Part of Wiccan is to celebrate other religions. Try and get some books out on the subject and let ur mum read them. tell her that ur not wiccan, ur a Christian. Why is it fair that ur brothers got to choose their lifestyle and you didn't.
Maybe ur mum is worried that the same thing happened to her will happen to you.
Im sorry, if this is no help. I do not know what it is like to be in a really religous family.
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