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A guild for giving and receiving art critiques. This guild is dedicated to honest words; not cruel or sugar-coated words. 

Tags: redline, critique, anatomy, help, correction 

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Onnagataish ( Open)

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kerryfox


Tipsy Muse

PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:53 am


So I am some what back my camera and I have been working together to try and get art on the internet and we will hope that it has worked...

So basically I spent My entire day here looking at Onnageta (The female part in Kabuki played buy a guy.) They are a rather convincing lot and we had a hard time spotting who was a female female and who was onnageta. So of course having paper and pencil I did a little sketch. I am not looking to have this be overly manly in fact it should resemble a woman down to the tiny details that makeup and acting can't cover. Also would you believe it to be a scan and not a camera shot?<--- the main question I want answered...

Ignore the watermark I am paranoid....

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 4:30 pm


-: I think it's well done. Almost everything is pretty much in order and align with each other. The mouth is falling off but you just move it a little to the side it be fine.
I noticed that one side of the hair is flat and the other is almost popping. The hair almost look like you turned a bit and started sliding with the picture. I also noticed that the ears are nearly invisible. I don't know if you were trying to hide the ears or just didn't make big enough, which I suggect you do.
One side of the shoulders is lower than the other and the clothes are fine in the beginning then they are almost skin tight.
Only slight adjustments and should be just fine.

I tried pointing out the parts were make correct. WHen I tried to work on the hair, it ended up being slighted so yeah. It's only a suggection not something you have to do. If have any question about what I just said let me know.:-

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Shoroie

Shadowy Explorer



kerryfox


Tipsy Muse

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:04 am


No that is great =^.^=

As for the ears I was drawing a memory blank on weather or not they where covered. I have a bad habit of turning a drawing sideways to work on it so I tend to get that sliding issue a lot... >.< really need to work on not doing that.

But thank you very much!
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