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The little cutie let out a cute little whine that sounded suspiciously like "MY Diana!" before giving her the most adorable expression as he snuggled against her.
Sam glanced over at his girlfriend with a reassuring little grin, hiding his unease for the moment. "Ah, nothing... just thought I'd felt something."
"And you'd be correct, demon scum," a voice spat with indescribable hatred.
Sam froze and slowly turned to see that all five customers had spontaneously sprouted golden halos and auras of holy power. "s**t... I thought all the anti-demon cults were eradicated..." he mumbled, raising his hands and tails in the interdimensional gesture of surrender.

Kyo yipped happily, simply enjoying being in his mate's arms.
Unfortunately, one of the men seemed to have anticipated that particular course of action, because the tazer flew to his hand even as the leader answered coldly, "It doesn't matter - that demons even exist is a sin against nature. They must all be eradicated."
"Yeah, reasoning with the anti-demon cultists doesn't work unless you have some sort of leverage over them - they're far too brainwashed to listen to anything a demon or their mate says," Samuke explained to Kimera patiently. "Seeing as we've been caught with our pants down, I'd say the best route here is to either freeze them all, find an escape route, or kiss our asses good-bye... and from what I can tell, there seems to be some sort of holy magic on the doors and windows that both negates demonic magic and blocks all routes of escape."
The leader chuckled coldly, a manic gleam in his eyes. "Exactly. Good-bye, demon scum!" With that, he drew a pistol, aiming it at Sam's head...
"Oi, crikey! Can't we settle down and talk this over like reasonable blokes."
All the males in the room blinked before looking down at the source of this new voice: the same rabbit from before, casually eating the last of its strange steak-carrot. Not only that, but it was speaking with an accent that was some strange mixture of Australian and Scottish.
"I mean, really," the rabbit continued, hopping up onto a table using his back legs only, and turning to lecture the two groups, "I know that a lot of us demons aren't exactly nice blokes, but I've met plenty who aren't bastards - one of them is me best mate and one of me drinking buddies, in fact, even if he is a mutated mad Renard. As for you, Mister Renard, I reckon you seem like a sensible bloke. So why the brawl? Can't we blokes and sheilas all get along, or are all yer aff yer heids?" He folded his front legs and glared at them, somehow managing to stand on two legs.
Cue the silence, complete with crickets, as all present in the room tried to process the furry thing staring up at them sternly... though the more zealot-esque group really just seemed to be trying to figure out what the hell kind of demon this was.

(For the record, the rabbit was originally going to be either Scottish or Australian... then I thought, "why can't he be both?" xd Also, fair warning: Kyo's drinking buddies are going to be introduced soon, and when they do, this RP may or may not become a crossover (and will heavily feature this trope due to the nature of said drinking buddies). Girls to match the characters aren't required, though I'll admit I'd be interested to see what you'd come up with. xd )

"Okey-dokey!" Kyo agreed happily before pausing and looking around, obviously trying to figure out what he was supposed to restock them with.
"You've got my mating mark - that's close enough for them," Samuke answered absentmindedly, still staring with bafflement at the rabbit.
After a moment, the zealots snapped out of it, and the leader raised his gun once more. "Enough of this foolishness; you will die as well, rabbit-demon!"
The rabbit just sighed. "I see... so then that's your final answer, mate?" He then shrugged. "Well, ye cannae say I didn't warn ye." With that, he leaped at the lead zealot, his cute appearance suddenly turning into that of a vicious (albeit small and cuddly) man-eating monster as he mauled the whole group without mercy.

Kyo yipped happily before starting to use his tails to place the books on the right shelves.
After a few moments, the rabbit calmly hopped out of the carnage. "Well, that was fun."
Samuke just blinked owlishly before asking weakly, "Your last name wouldn't happen to be Caerbannog, would it?"
"Aye; Edward Archie Sterling Jack McRabbit Caerbannog, at your service - me mates all call me Ed, though," the Scottish/Australian rabbit replied cheerfully. "Well, except for Kyo - he calls me Bugs for some reason."

Fortunately, Kyo managed to finish surprisingly quickly before hopping back into Diana's arms, seemingly oblivious to members of the same group Ed had mauled entering the store inconspicuously.

"Ah, thought this bloke looked familiar - you'd be Samuke, then?"
Samuke nodded, blinking. "Er, don't take this the wrong way... but I wasn't aware Kyo had any friends, what with him being insane and all." he noted.
"Well, to be fair, each of the blokes in our little group is a wee bit off-kilter in one way or another anyway," Ed admitted, pulling out another one of those strange steak-carrots. "Fer example, I need to keep my hereditary bloodlust down by eating special genetically engineered meat/carrot hybrids so I don't end up killing everything in sight... and I'm one of the more normal blokes."
Samuke gave Ed a skeptical look. "Exactly how does that count as normal?"
Cue a blue police box materializing in the middle of the room and a small brown equine poking his head out. "Hallo there, would this happen to be Wednesday?"
"Nah, mate, you're still a couple of days early... as usual," Ed informed the talking horse matter-of-factly. "Honestly, level with me here: how does a bloke with a time machine manage to be either late or early every single time?"
"See? I told you, take a right at the crack in the universe, not a left!" a voice shouted out from inside the police box.
The horse immediately went back inside, saying, "Excuse me, who's been driving this TARDIS longer, me or you? Being a near-omnipotent god of chaos does not automatically make you an expert on driving a time machine!"
Samuke just stared blankly as the police box dematerialized. "Well, if that was another one of Kyo's friends, I can certainly see why he didn't tell me about them; he does try to keep the heart attacks to a minimum, if nothing else," he decided after a moment, voice rather faint. "Now if you'll excuse me, I think I need a strong drink... either that, or a knock upside the head hard enough to make me forget this."

(If you understood that reference and managed to guess who TARDIS passenger number 2 is, then yes, I just went there and will keep going there... and I will be going a great many other fun(ny) places as well. twisted twisted twisted twisted twisted )

(Close, but no - it's really more of a fanfic crossover Doctor. This version is called Doctor Whooves, hence why he's a horse - not sure who invented him first, but I give them major props. xd As for the other character... no, not the Master, someone different. If you do know/figure out what show the other char's from, though, don't judge my tastes in TV series, okay?)

"Well, the usual drinking night is scheduled for day after tomorrow, but I was mostly here because I heard one of the old anti-demon cults had been revived, and I was hopin' to head 'em off before they reached Kyo." Ed paused as he felt a surge of holy magic nearby, glancing over to see a faint golden aura around the nearby bookstore. "...Aaand looks like I'm too late. Well, hopefully they don't make him angry - he's scary enough when he's happy."
Samuke shivered, nodding in agreement and looking like he almost pitied whatever poor idiots were trying to attack his insane brother.

Meanwhile, in the bookstore, every last "customer" had abruptly drawn a gun and pointed it at Kyo, the leader of the group snarling, "Prepare to be eradicated, demon scum."
Kyo just blinked and tilted his head curiously, tongue lolling out mindlessly.

(Well, again, this version is called Doctor Whooves... and yeah, I caught the humor. Horrible pun, but an okay attempt. xd )

The two looked at Kimera for a moment like she was insane before Samuke remembered she'd only known Kyo for a day and decided to clarify. "Love, when Kyo gets into a fight, you don't pity him - you pity whatever sides he isn't on..."
Kyo yipped happily... and then all Hell broke loose, along with its cellmates Chaos, Mayhem, and Oh My God What On Earth Is That.
Cue the girlish screams of indescribable, mind-numbing terror and unimaginable, soul-rending agony, audible from miles around, along with the occasional maniacal giggles from a certain mad fox. Over at the pet store, Samuke pointed in the general direction of the screams, adding to his earlier sentence, "Case in point."

(Yes, I know - that's why I graded it as "okay attempt". If you'd known about my interest in Doctor Who beforehand, then it would've been graded as "worst attempt in existence". The pun itself, however, would still be horrible either way. xd )

"Oh, you mean you were worried about collateral damage. Don't worry, he only damages things outside of battles and whatnot - in fact, after a fight the area is always neater than before the fight started for some reason."
Cue the would-be demon-slayers being herded out the door by Count Porcula (the vampire pig from when Kyo first moved into the human realm)... except that the leader seemed to be missing his foot, and there was a definite gnawing sound coming from Kyo's direction...