Alright, so, your profile looks good for the most part. The only problem we have is that you put something in the affinity section that is not an affinity. The five affinities are Fire, Air, Spirit, Earth, and Water.
Now, your character can have a plant affinity... but it would have to be hone of his natural abilities rather than in his affinity section. I know it sounds convoluted and weird, but the only way to have the affinity is for it to be an ability. As such, it would go in the natural abilities section instead. Fix that, and we're good. ^^
Fixed, I also added the ability to talk to plants.
Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:31 pm
Username: Johto Crisp Name: Shien Léi Nickname: Cìkè (by those who fear her) Race: Aasimar Ethnicity: Chinese (Yuki no Okoku) Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Alignment: NG Affinity: Air Age: Forty-eight Birthday: February 22nd Height: 4'11 Weapon: Spell-Augmenting Sniper Rifle and Pistol Both guns are loaded with magical runes. They protect the weapons from being used by anyone without the matching spell cast on them. They're protected from scrying and divination as well as physical and magical attacks. Covered in all sorts of warding runes, they can only be disassembled not destroyed. Magic: School: Evocation Subschool: Abjuration ❖ Magic Missile: A basic attack spell for an evocationist. Normally, it's a basic damage inducing attack that tracks targets. Being absolute raw magic, it's especially effective against enemies weak to its power. RANK C Shien, however, casts this spell into her weapons as "ammo," and its capabilities and power change based on which gun the spell is loaded into: -Magic Bullet: When Magic Missile is loaded into Shien's pistol, it becomes a force to be reckoned with. Concentrated to a single point rather than a mass, the spell travels farther, faster, and is capable of doing more damage being condensed. At this new speed and medium range, its capable of pierced and possibly running through bodies and other materials, but it can no longer track, relying on the aim of the user. The spell can be fired from this weapon twelve times before Shien becomes exhausted. RANK B -Magic Shell: When Magic Missile is loaded into Shien's sniper rifle, there's no stopping it. Moving at speeds and ranges impossible for its original example, this spell is the same, condensed down to its purest form. At this power, it's capable of piercing almost anything from flesh to metal. It's ultra-effective from a very long range, allowing the caster to hide themselves from vision and capable of blowing off or through chunks of flesh. The sniper's augmentation ability, however, can only be used once before a "cool down" period is necessary (four posts). Another spell can't be loaded into it during this time. RANK B+ -Explosive Shell: With a change of settings, the sniper's augmentation can further alter the effects of Magic Missile, deafening its destructive power temporarily to increase its speed. Upon contact with any surface, the energy immediately changes from a drastic increase in speed to one in explosive power, able to severely damage a large area, the mana essentially burning away at all substances. This diameter of this explosion varies based on the distance between where the shot was fired and where it hits, the longer the bigger, base being 20ft. This spell puts a greater strain on Shien's weapon, however, its cool down lasting seven posts. RANK A- ❖ Alarm: A spell to alert anyone of danger, especially Shien herself. Using abjuration, she casts a ward on a specific point. This branches out in a 15ft radius. If anyone but the caster is to step within this circle, Shien or others will be notified. This spell has two variants: Silent and Emergency. The silent alarm simply returns some of Shien's mana back to her, the sensation tells her that someone is near her location. This is especially handy in escaping from enemies finding her hiding spot. The emergency variant will cause the sound of a loud bell to ring in the area. If it causes a panic or becomes useful in a situation where people would have to evacuate, it's great for helping or distracting. This reacts to the presence of mana and heat. Some individuals may not cause it to go off. RANK D ❖ Antimagic Field: Gives Shien an edge at her weakest point: close range. Abjuration creates a magic vacuum space of mana, Shiens own negating all mana use unprotected from such spells. This includes her own spells as well. That being said, stagnant magics such as those tied to pre-existing runes or items are not affected. If Shien's pistol is already loaded, however, she may still use it. If it's empty or is emptied, it cannot be reloaded inside the field. It disperses after six posts by the caster or when she chooses to allow it. It's possible for spells cast outside the field to enter it. A spell fired from farther away won't become eradicated or anything when it hits the field. It still exists. Anti-magic field only stops magic from being cast at that range, so people within the field can't cast a spell. The field simply stops anyone from casting a new spell within it. RANK C ❖ True Sight: An abjuration spell cast in a 50ft cone that dispels minor illusions for any affected party. Rank D ❖ Active Ward: Requires constant casting. The user raises their hand to create a transparent shield of mana that very specifically absorbs damage that would be caused by magic attacks. This does not guard any sort or physical attacks. The mana absorbed allows the ward to stay active for a free moment but is not directly transferred back to the magus. If deactivated at any point of free casting, the mana it would recycle to do so is dispersed. This spell is not particularly strong. It can block an infinite amount of RANK F spells, ten RANK D spells, five RANK C spells, or one RANK B spell before it is destroyed or magical damage equivalent. If not taken down willingly, Active Ward cannot be cast for another seven posts. RANK C+ ❖ Cloak of Winds: An abjuration spell that utilizes Shien's Air Affinity. The caster is encircled by a swirling body of wind for five posts. It has two effects, first increasing the caster's speed and then protects them from physical projectiles whose course can be deterred such as arrows, bolts, and bullets, bouncing off the winds. This does nothing against magic or blows from swords or similar weapons. RANK C- ❖ Contingency: A spell to be placed on another to place another spell onto the spell. Allow me to explain. If Contingency is cast on one spell, the spell affected will have preconditions it needs to meet. Once it meets those conditions, another spell will be activated. RANK E ❖ Nondetection: Hides user from divination, scrying. RANK E
Strengths: ✔ Sharp Shooter: Armed with her spell-augmenting guns all her life, Shien has become exceptionally skilled in their use. ✔ Sneaky: One must be good at finding hiding spots as a sniper. ✔ Resilient: Shien is accustomed to surviving on her own. Thus, she's a bit craftier than others when it comes to taking matter into her own hands. ✔ Visible Youth: As an aasimar, Shien ages about a third of the rate humans do, appearing to be in her late teens or early twenties. ✔ Indifferent: Shien’s rather good at appearing as though she doesn’t care ✔ Not Bothered by the Cold: Born of a legendary divine creature, Shien is less affected by the cold than most ✔ Natural-born Talent: Shien’s aasimar blood is naturally attuned to mana, making learning new spells to add to the arsenal easy.
Weaknesses: ✘ Physical Combat: There’s a reason she uses weapons that increase the amount of range she has on her opponent. ✘ Untrusting: She doesn’t make a lot of friends ✘ Secret Identity: Shien might get in a lot of trouble if anyone recognised her by her career choice or call name ✘ Visible Youth: Sometimes she’s not taken seriously because of her visible age and size ✘ Actually a Giant Teddy Bear: Despite all the fronts she puts up, Shien’s pretty soft and squishy on the inside. She’s quick to feel sorry for people or even want to help them. ✘ Rumors of Origin: Some may or may not believe that her divine blood is cursed. It’s troublesome. ✘ Blowing the Load: To make sure a target or opponent is taken care of, Shien is more than happy to use all of the tools and spells at her disposal. She frequently runs out of mana during the setup for a shooting.
Likes: ✔ Her guns. Bang! Bang! ✔ Heroes ✔ Being far from her targets (both physically and emotionally) ✔ Her job. It pays well. ✔ Any dish with beef
Dislikes: ✘ Winding up in a situation where she has the disadvantage ✘ Those in the world with evil intention ✘ Annoying people ✘ Her job. It sucks ✘ Beans
Personality: ❖ When it comes to work, Shien acts apathetic and indifferent when it comes to the lives of others. She accepts and declines contracts based on the target, but there’s nothing more to it than that. Take them out, be done with it. She’s even cold to her own contacts, keeping up whatever face she deems necessary. This is the same for when she meets someone new, especially anyone she’d consider to be dangerous to herself or others. Shien is also one willing to put her appearance to use, convincing others that she’s harmless and getting on their good side so that she may strike. In all honesty, however, Shien’s kind of a nerd. She believes in heroes that’ll be able to save the world one day, even thinking at one point that she’d evolve into that kind of person. Despite that no longer being the case, the woman does her best to purge the world of whatever morons are willing enough to bring unnecessary harm to others. The reality of the world weighs heavily on her hopes, covering her optimism in a pessimistic aura. She sees the corruption of some governments as well as what runs the streets. It’ll take a the existence of a true hero to shed light on her ideals. Long story short, despite the cold front she puts up, Shien’s a pretty warm person.
History: ❖ There’s a bit of a rumor surrounding Shien’s birth. Many believe that the Aasimar was born from a divine creature of snow, one who cursed the few forests of their land, inhabiting it and enticing others to join her only to have them freeze to death. Shien’s father was supposedly one of these people, a human from a nearby village. He died but not before impregnating the woman with his child. She cared for the baby for some time before the people of the land became fed up with the games. A mob stormed the forest. The creature created a terrible blizzard within, causing many to lose their lives that night, but she would soon join them. Only a few survived. When the remaining group heard the cries of a baby, they were conflicted. Should they kill the half-breed? Would it naturally follow the course of its mother? The whole nature vs. nurture bit. It was the foreigner among them that decided to take her in. He’d make sure she’d be taken care of and turned into a good citizen. So much for that…
At least, that’s how the story goes.
James had always told her to ignore those tales as a child. That was a silly story some cruel person came up. He was her godfather deemed by both her parents before their tragic accident (that gradually altered over the years). She was frequently picked on by the other kids in Yamasato. They aged. She didn’t. She’d glow. They didn’t. If she ever came home bothered by their bullying, her caretaker told her tales of heroes who were willing to protect people and the good boys and girls of the world. It gave her hope when everything seemed so dark. If only they’d been real… The man also taught the girl about magic and that she’d one day have to use it to protect others. Those who really wanted to make a difference were the Knights and Mages that made contracts together to give them further power. He gave her the hope that she may one day become a hero as well, and the thought made her so happy that her skin gave off the prettiest aura of light. After she’d learned a few spells, the rifle she uses now was revealed to her. “This will give your magic even more power.” There was a catch. These weapons couldn’t be used by just anyone. Their innerworkings were covered in runes that sealed them from random use, protected them from scrying spells, and more. Shien would have to be the subject of an enchantment that allowed her use of the weapons. The spell ended up covering parts of her in runes, but that was fine. She could protect people this way.
On a particularly snowy night, Shien was practicing her abjuration when James broke into the house panting. Something was wrong, and he was in trouble. Hurriedly, he shoved the guns into the young woman’s hands, telling her to run as far as she could from this place. He wouldn’t even allow her one question. She had gotten too far before she heard the sounds of metal against metal, men shouting from her home. An image of her caretaker and master’s corpse flashed before her mind. No! I have to protect him! She loaded up the pistol and circled the house. When she arrived, the men had James cornered, the now old man had been disarmed. They were the villages law enforcement and here for the daughter of the witch. After so long, the “good” people finally had tracked her to this location. That night, Shien realized that people are going to get hurt when you try to be a hero, that even those who seemed good could be corrupted… If killing was the only way for her to make a difference, then so be it. Horrified, she left the man alone surrounded by the bodies of his attackers.
It’s been years since the woman’s returned to the massive village. She began killing for money, only bringing a fate such as death to the criminals who deserved it, refusing contracts on people who were in fact inherently good. It was how people forgot about the rumors about one part of her life and started focusing on the other. Men, women, anyone willing to do evil always had a question in the back of their minds as to whether or not she was watching (though no one knows the true identity of the assassin). That’s essentially what she continues to do now, lonely by all measure, but at least she was bringing good by thinning out the bad. At least she was getting paid. Her views on the world are now cynical, and she hates the concept of rumors, despite the information sometimes being accurate. Nine times out of ten, it wasn’t. A part of her still believes heroes truly exist, and these hopes shine through when she finds those type of good-willed people in the world.
Outfits: ❖ Blue Kimono: A traditional wear for the area, Shien likes to wear a blue kimono when she isn’t working, out and about shopping or the like. ❖ Casuals: Shien’s favorite outfit (see above). Caimer had given it to her when she finally fit into it, the clothing of the land he’d come from.
Items: ❖ Black Book: Shien carries a notebook full of contracts on it. She’ll do recon on each one before she makes the decision whether or not to accept the offer given to her. It’s only worth it to kill those truly terrible.
Other: ❖ She glows when she’s truly happy. ❖ If you can’t take a hint, the rumors are true.
Fixed, I also added the ability to talk to plants.
Love it. Accepted! Feel free to make your character's topic and start RPing! Make sure you read and sign all the rules for the Guild before you post, though! That's important o.o
Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:02 pm
Hello! Thank you for submitting your profile! There are a couple things we’d like to address before we accept your profile, however.
1. Your weapon: With how you’ve described and created your character’s weapon, its essentially taken on the qualities of an Armament. Weapons infused with and altered by magic are totally fine, but if you wish to have an Armament for your character, the topic is to be discussed between either me or Rengato. 2. Martial Mastery seems more like a strength rather than a natural ability unless it applies to weapons even your character has yet to train in. 3. Only a little confusion on my part: He's the qualities of a giant but is only 6'8? Sure, that's almost 7ft, which is tall, but it's certainly not giant-tall. I'd either just not say giant (they're long-gone, by the way) or just have him be larger because of the experiments.
Those are the things I saw, at least.
Rengato
Noire Solomon
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:29 pm
Johto Crisp
Alright, so, there is a problem or two with your profile that I would like to address. One problem is with the True Sight ability. While it may be called abjuration, it still seems more like a clairvoyant spell, which would fall under divination. Being able to see through illusions is a basic spell for people who study divination.
Second, I want some more clarification on the anti-magic field. Does it just negate all magic of any type and strength and simply eradicate it? Or does it only affect spells at close range? There's a few things that sound strange that need some clarification in the description.
Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 12:22 am
Living Eternally
Hello! Thank you for submitting your profile! There are a couple things we’d like to address before we accept your profile, however.
1. Your weapon: With how you’ve described and created your character’s weapon, its essentially taken on the qualities of an Armament. Weapons infused with and altered by magic are totally fine, but if you wish to have an Armament for your character, the topic is to be discussed between either me or Rengato. 2. Martial Mastery seems more like a strength rather than a natural ability unless it applies to weapons even your character has yet to train in. 3. Only a little confusion on my part: He's the qualities of a giant but is only 6'8? Sure, that's almost 7ft, which is tall, but it's certainly not giant-tall. I'd either just not say giant (they're long-gone, by the way) or just have him be larger because of the experiments.
Those are the things I saw, at least.
Rengato
Noire Solomon
Hello ,good day.
In regards to my character: 1.His weapon:For now i cant think of a way to change the properties of the weapon without changing his lore as it mostly revolved around it.Also its only specialty is that akin to a Swiss army knife,meaning its only ability is to change its form best suited to the opponent he's fighting and nothing else. Also regarding the certain effect the weapon has(Drive almost anything into conflict)where he's shut it,i would also like add that he doesnt shut it silent but rather,the effect is directed to him,hence his 2nd and 3rd natural abilities. With that all being said,i can still change it if still fall to armament category although it will probably take some time.
2.Added the certain effect the you mentioned on his first natural ability. 3.Made a small clarification to his Physical augmentation. 4 made some small changes and an additional info,on the "others" section of the character.
Username:xChisaki Name:Abel Gucci Nickname:Abel | Baka (Rosé Nickname for him) Race:Kitsune | Human Ethnicity:Japanese, Korean, Italian Gender:Male Orientation:Student, Knight Alignment:Chaotic Neutral Affinity:Fire | Spirit Age:Eighteen Birthday:7th of January Height:Six Foot One. Weapon:Throwing Knives Mage:
Natural Abilities: ❖ Return SealD Rank - While Abel was young, his father taught him a little trick to ensure that he'd never lose all of his weapons seeing as how his father was also the someone who used the same weapon as him. By placing a return seal on his weapons he's able to return the weapon back to its sheath by means of focusing it. As it is his main form of keeping his weapons he has trained this ability since young and mastered it, requiring little effort to recall them. The ability however can only be used on his set of weapons as his father had restricted his ability to recall things. ❖ Heat and Cold ResistanceC Rank - Growing up with a sister who would scold him a lot, Abel quickly developed a resistance to her cold flame and inherited his fathers skill in heat resistance. Though he's not immune to the temperatures he's resistant to a fair amount of it. ❖ Kitsune Vision: Variation C+ Rank - Abel is able to pick up on minute details and notice things most people wouldn't from long ranges and pays great attention to detail when close. He has somewhat photographic memory thanks to this skill.
Strengths: ✔ Martial arts - Black belt in several styles ✔ Agility and Acrobatics ✔ Perseverance ✔ Family, Sister particularly. ✔ Master Marksman
Weaknesses: ✘ Rosé, losing her or her being mad can effect him. ✘ Spiders, even big boys can be scared of them. ✘ Has no musical talent whatsoever. ✘ Girls with long black hair, something about them sends him crazy.
Likes: ✔ Late night strolls through streets ✔ His sisters home cooking ✔ Pleasing people ✔ Hot girls
Dislikes: ✘ Being Brutally honest ✘ Animals suffering ✘ Loud and obnoxious people ✘ Failure
Personality: ❖ Abel grew up mostly under his sisters care and she wasn't much older than him so they had to learn together. While she took a more refined course of life, his became more rebellious causing him to be more rebellious. Abel is quick witted and overly sarcastic and can be genuinely a nice person, but he's extremely closed off hiding behind his alluring, yet fake smile and kind words. Abel is also rather analytical and tends to judge people based solely on their appearance before really knowing anyone reading minute details that could lead to conclusions rather than asking. Aside from that Abel is just your average moody boy who's fiercely loyal to his family, that being only Rosé
History: ❖ The younger of the two, Abel was the son of Yuki and Stefano. Although not entirely aware of the world around him in his early years, Abel was a playful young boy who enjoyed nothing less than cuddling up with his mother and father as they told stories of their adventures before Rose and him had been born. Abel loved the stories and believe that one day he'd be like his parents as well and felt if he tried hard enough he could. One day while he and his sister slept, he felt his mothers lips press against his forehead and took no notice of what it meant, cuddling back up to his sister and returning back to sleep. When he awoke, his father seemed lifeless and although Abel and Rose did all they could, he wouldn't smile or play with them. Abel and Rose were then enrolled in schools that trained them to be who they are now and on one fateful night while they slept there father set out to find their mother, his note being left next to him.
"Hey Son. I never thought I'd write to you like this but here it is, weird right? Papa's writing is kind of a mess I know but bare with me will ya? You are my son, no matter what, you're talented and even if someone tells you you aren't, you are. (Unless it's your sister, she's usually right... her mothers trait) I'm proud of you, even in your young age you know how to be a man and I couldn't have asked for a better son, though I wish you bathed more. I left you half of my collection of knives don't waste them you hear! i'll take it out of your allowance. Listen to your sister, I know she can be difficult but I know you'll protect her no matter what. Love Pa" the paper smelling of his fathers alcohol. Abel heard his sister crying and hugged her, listening to her as she cried and vowed to do what his fathers note had said.
As the years rolled in, they both relied heavily on each other but their lives were different by all means. He was involved with different groups of people and had to learn how to survive in a world where only the strong survived. Staying out late was a forbidden act but he would do it as it brought closure to him, though he knew it broke his sister and made her worry more than she needed. He became aware that even though they were young, she did everything for him and deep down that hurt more than he thought. It was at that point he vowed that he wouldn't rely on her so much so that she could live a normal life without fear of him dying or not coming home.
Now eighteen he was established as one of his classes best knights and was tasked with finding a mage that was suitable to him. During this time he stayed with his sister and traveled with her acting as a body guard whilst giving her trouble but nonetheless, protecting her like his father asked.
Alright, so, there is a problem or two with your profile that I would like to address. One problem is with the True Sight ability. While it may be called abjuration, it still seems more like a clairvoyant spell, which would fall under divination. Being able to see through illusions is a basic spell for people who study divination.
Second, I want some more clarification on the anti-magic field. Does it just negate all magic of any type and strength and simply eradicate it? Or does it only affect spells at close range? There's a few things that sound strange that need some clarification in the description.
Thanks, Ren!
I'm not 100% comfortable with totally getting rid of true sight, but I have a couple ideas. It's cool if you don't like them. I'll just delete at that point^^ 1. ❖ True Sight: An abjuration spell cast in a 50ft cone that dispels minor illusions for any affected party. Rank D This way, it's more akin to abjuration by negating other magic rather than protecting from it. 2. I could have it as a rune added to the sniper, one that enhanced the scope to see through illusions when looked through. If neither of those work, lemme know. I'll just get rid of it. No big deal!
For the Anti-Magic Field, it only stops magic from being cast at that range, so people within the field can't cast a spell. A spell fired from farther away won't become eradicated or anything when it hits the field. It still exists. The field simply stops anyone from casting a NEW spell within it. That includes Shien herself. Does that make sense? I'll update it in the profile if that's fine. Otherwise, I don't mind losing that either.
Thanks a bunch! Can't wait to hear back!
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Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 2:34 pm
Noire Solomon
1. As we stated before, the weapon is more akin to an armament than a magical weapon by what has been described in the profile. We're not saying you can't have it, we're saying to have a discussion with either one of us about it, preferably through PM, to discuss its relation to your character and various other factors. As stated in the lore and worldbook, anyone who wants an armament outside of finding one needs to discuss it with me or Living. Now, please, PM one of us so we can discuss it with you.
2. Living may not have asked this, but I would like to know, what do you mean by "make use of?" Like, is he a master with the weapon automatically, even being better than someone who has trained with the weapon all their life? I'm curious, because the Rank of the skill would be affected by such things.
3. Living may have implied this, but it probably didn't make much sense. What she meant by him not being very tall was that that is all a giant really has. A giant doesn't have super strength or super endurance or anything like that. All it is is an upscaled version of a person, which gives it more mass and substance. In short, a giant's strength comes from its size and such. The description is a bit confusing by saying giant. It'd be more appropriate to say that the physical augmentation gives him super endurance and strength or something. Maybe even reference Heracles from Fate/Stay Night, as that sounds very similar to what you're talking about.
That is all. ^^
Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 3:42 pm
Johto Crisp
Hm... I like the cone effect that dispels minor illusions. I would go with that one instead of the second suggestion, as it requires your character to cast a spell to have its effect activate.
Okay, that make sense. I was not trying to make you get rid of it, just merely trying to understand the spell a bit better and make it so that others do. You may need to clarify a bit better that it's close-range spells that get nullified only. I thought the ability was saying that it, itself, was close range and that it negated any spell that happened to come into its effective range.
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Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 4:20 pm
Oooooh~ I like him! It's not only 'cause he's pretty.
I do have a few things to mention, but they're only minor. -Mind changing rebellious neutral to chaotic neutral? It literally means nothing different, and it's cute, but we're picky v.v It's not gunna make him any different or anything just...wording >> Sorry. o.o -Master Marksman is more of a Strength than a Natural Ability; however, there's an aspect of it that I do like under Natural Abilities, and that's his capability of ranged sight and photographic memory. I think you could push that to having something to do with his eyes or being part kitsune...It doesn't have to be racial, but if it's simply from training, I'd just suggest it go under strengths.
Those were the only things that I saw. If Ren has anything to add (or disagree with me about), he will! :3 Lemme know when you make the changes! Can't wait!
xChisaki
Rengato
Rengato"]
Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 10:00 pm
Rengato
Hm... I like the cone effect that dispels minor illusions. I would go with that one instead of the second suggestion, as it requires your character to cast a spell to have its effect activate.
Okay, that make sense. I was not trying to make you get rid of it, just merely trying to understand the spell a bit better and make it so that others do. You may need to clarify a bit better that it's close-range spells that get nullified only. I thought the ability was saying that it, itself, was close range and that it negated any spell that happened to come into its effective range.
Alrighty! I've changed True Sight to the dispel and made Anti-Magic Field a little more clear. Anything else, Vice Cap?
Oooooh~ I like him! It's not only 'cause he's pretty.
I do have a few things to mention, but they're only minor. -Mind changing rebellious neutral to chaotic neutral? It literally means nothing different, and it's cute, but we're picky v.v It's not gunna make him any different or anything just...wording >> Sorry. o.o -Master Marksman is more of a Strength than a Natural Ability; however, there's an aspect of it that I do like under Natural Abilities, and that's his capability of ranged sight and photographic memory. I think you could push that to having something to do with his eyes or being part kitsune...It doesn't have to be racial, but if it's simply from training, I'd just suggest it go under strengths.
Those were the only things that I saw. If Ren has anything to add (or disagree with me about), he will! :3 Lemme know when you make the changes! Can't wait!
