Welcome to Gaia! ::

We're all just scared for you, Moo. Trying to save you. We know it's confusing and disorienting and painful, the thought of ending a relationship. But it's for the best. If you can just trust us, who know a few things from experience.

My new years res: Lose 40 lbs. Seeing as I got home and got on the scale and weight 192... I'm down to 185...

I ought to weigh 135... blah... and... I am taking Xantrex... it's helping.

Moocat, you're still quite young. Things could be infinitely worse. Trust me. In fact, let me tell you how my New Year's went:

First, the day before, I learn that the girl I'm engaged to (oh, for that story, see the * section below) is a nice, little, cheating whore. Oh what fun that is. Second, my best friend--the man I considered to be a brother and was going to best man at our wedding--has been going out with my ex that happened during the play relationship period (see the * section). Did I mention that he went after her the week she left me (see the ** section)? Okay, so, I figured that they could control themselves at my new year's party, but no, they couldn't. He was all over her, kissing her in front of me. He has lost all sense of thoughts for others. He is a jackass. He stabbed me in the back. My best friend that's a girl, a totally moral gal (she's religious), the smartest person I know (can you say 4.2 GPA?), unbelievably gorgeous, and well, she has everything. She blows me off for my party, and then when I see her at the party NEXT ******** DOOR, she blows me off and acts as if she doesn't know me. And finally, my other best friend (also a girl), tells me to go ******** myself FOR NO GOD DAMNED REASON. I no longer have a fiance. I no longer have a friend I consider a brother. I no longer have a friend I consider a sister. I no longer have a best friend. Oh, did I mention the fiance bit?


*Well, this girl, Christina, you've seen me talk about her, before. I dated her two years ago, and it was spectacular. However, she had to move, and that killed things between us. Two years passed and we didn't speak to one another. Then, we both hit rough relationships and break ups, talked, and fell in love all over again, and stronger. We started dating, but we didn't call it dating, because of the distance. However, she came back here for college (hooray!) but then left again because she had some personal issues back home, and that put a gimp on what we had. Buuuuut, before she left, I proposed, and she accepted gladly. While she's been gone, we decided that we should playfully date other people to keep our experience up. It was all fun and games...at first. However, I then get to talking to her "boyfriend" and another of our friends (a guy, as well), only to find out that she's been lying to me about what her "boyfriend" has been told about me--he hasn't been told AT ALL. They've been getting more and more romantic. And the friend? Well, let's just say I hadn't pictured her as the kind of girl to like to cyber. I found all of this out--that she's been lying to me, using me, and cheating on me--and the day before N Y's Eve, I have to bring it up. I yell at her. I don't know how I have a voice, still. And, well, I never want to see or speak to her again. She said she'll mail the ring back. I told her she could shove it up her a** for all I cared. I will NOT tolerate that kind of thing! She was the LAST person I would have thought to do something like that! AND AFTER WE WERE ENGAGED! OH MY GOD! YOU CAN NOT POSSIBLY IMAGINE THE TORMENT THAT PUTS YOU THROUGH WHEN YOU FIND OUT YOUR FIANCE IS A PRACTITIONER IN THE ART OF INFIDELITY! MOTHER ********, and guess what, before he went out with her, he asked me if I were okay with it. I told him I wasn't. Did he listen? No. He decided to betray me by doing it anyway. p***k.













So Moocat, you stop being so down. Life could be worse. I've been drinking all night, trying to at least get drunk enough to take my mind off all of it, if only for one night, but for some reason, I can't get there. I drink and drink and drink. If I drink much more, I'll die of alcohol poisoning. I'm a little tipsy, sure, but not that badly, as you can see by my typing (like I told you on AIM). It's like some sadistic god is up there, torturing me, and wanting me to feel every ounce of the pain. Honestly, it's a wonder I haven't thought about suicide.

You are so skinny, if you lose more weight it won't be healthy.

You shouldn't even try. You look great as it is. I would murder to be as skinny as you. Can I steal your skinny?

********... I didn't stop to think about hangovers, last night. it's not bad, now, but ********!

Diets aren't so bad. Look into Weight Watchers Core Plan. smile