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 Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:36 am
 xxxxxxxxxxxxxIn the BRIGHTEST HOURxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof my DARKEST DAYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx I realizedxxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssWHAT IS WRONG WITH MExxx]▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
“You are,” Dorian insisted softly. “I can feel it.” He might as well have had a fever for the difference between their temperatures. Granted, he’d definitely worked his body into a frenzy during the waking hallucinations and he’d been under a blanket before, but there was still such a contrast he almost felt like he could burn Aiden with a few touches. His fingers were gentle as they ran over one arm, testing the temperature and confirming his own words. Was it bad that Aiden was insisting he wasn’t cold? Wasn’t that one of the signs that serious damage was being done?
Aiden had sounded so sad, still frightened. Please. He needed that fear to go away. He didn’t want to become someone else’s nightmare, the thing that pursued you in the dark, tearing away hiding places and shaking someone’s mind. He didn’t want those blue eyes widen just because he was near of have that broken tone slip into the sounds he made. It wouldn’t happen again. He would find locks, take the pills, anything to find Aiden’s trust again, if he’d ever even had it.
Dorian blinked and looked at the window when Aiden apologized for it, eyes moving in slight surprise to the glass littered now on the floor. His bed was nearer the window than the couch and he turned to look at it. Keeping Aiden warm had managed to permeate his brain and stick. A broken window was not going to help with that. But Aiden was small. Even if the bottom pane was gone, he thought he could cover it at least enough to keep them out of the direct line of a night wind.
“Stay,” he begged, another kiss disappearing into the black hair as though it would have some power to hold Aiden in place as he moved away from the bed. He barely registered the blood drying in his hair as he slipped his shoes on, feet crunching on the glass as he began shoving the dresser across the floor, putting it right in front of the hole. It wouldn’t do for more than a temporary fix of course, but for the moment it was all he needed.
The bed was wet from Aiden dripping on it and Dorian decided being up meant relocating. His arms slid under Aidne’s form one more time, cradling him against his chest and moving to the small couch across the room, settling down and keeping Aiden in his lap.
“Stay with me just a little longer,” he said, nuzzling the boy’s neck, trying to convince him it was safe now. He didn’t want to be alone. So often he fell straight back to sleep once the terrified screaming was over that he wasn’t sure what to do with the feelings still fresh and no lights to turn on or television to distract him.
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCan't get over youxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxCan't get through to youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's been a xxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssHELTER SKELTER ROMANCExxx]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx FROM THE START --------►
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:54 am
One look, could kill.
My Pain, your thrill. 
"it doesn't bother me."Aiden promised, accepting the return of the demands because it meant Dorian was coming back. If he could tell him what he was and wasn't feeling then it meant he was getting better...although it also meant he'd have to leave soon. A shiver chased its way down his spine on a soft sigh he couldn't stop when fingers brushed down his arm and brought goosebumps in their wake. The touching was going to kill him, because he knew he wasn't allowed to touch in return and he could never have what they softly offered. It was the only type of pain he'd never been able to overcome. The desperate wanting and rejection.
"If you want."he sighed again, relaxing unconsciously when he wasn't told to leave. Part of the reason to leave early had always been to avoid getting thrown out. When you only had one use you didn't often get asked to stay. Wrapping the blanket tighter around him, inhaling Dorian's scent off it while pained midnight obs watched the brunette move across the room in shoes and push at the dresser. He carefully wiped his hand on his leg to smear the trickle of slowing blood on his leg rather than staining the blanket or the new t-shirt. They were Dorian's so he'd have to be careful with them.
The almost desperate way he crawled into the singer's hold gave away some of the pain and desire tearing his chest apart. He wanted to stay, he wanted to be held, he wanted to make sure Dorian was okay...but he was too afraid to voice the request. Too used to taking a backhand for daring to challenge something someone else wanted. So he bit his lip and hunched his shoulders while at the same time burying his head into the warmth of Dorian's hair as they relocated to the couch.
"Yes, please."he begged, some of the child slipping into his bedroom voice on what might have been a choked off sob of relief when Dorian voiced the words he couldn't. His body sagging even as his hands wrapped tighter around the other boy. He didn't want to go, oh god he didn't want to go. That Dorian would even offer was like the first soft brush of what wishes should feel like. He knew it couldn't last, Dorian liked someone else and Aiden just wasn't good enough for him. But he could pretend for a few more minutes...right?
You're Poison, don't wanna break these chains.
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:55 am
xxxxxxxxxxʃ ɑ с ҡ . || CITY BOY - SURFER BOY ||
Jack’s chest rumble din something between a purr and a growl at the confirmation. He wasn’t sure if that sigh meant Kaito was regretting that fact but he pushed the thought away the moment it crept into his brain. That was stupid. Kaito wouldn’t have been pissed about Robin if he didn’t want Jack, right? But Kaito was so hard to read. Was he really upset about Robin or still upset about Kai? Or was it both? And if it was both, which side weighed more heavily in the equation. Jack was torn between wanting to prevent a fight between the two males and preferring Kaito to be jealous than being tired of him. Jack had kind of seduced him. And he didn’t have much to offer that Kaito couldn’t have with a snap of his fingers. But Kaito must’ve seen something, damnit! He’d said yes when Jack had claimed him a moment before.
His head was whirling, arguing with itself silently about just about everything it could come up with. It buzzed about Kai and trust and idiots with various colored hair and wondering if he could just let it slip to someone that Kai wasn’t a male without it getting back to Kaito that Jack had been the one to do it. Maybe he could set up a fake email account and tip off the principal? But how would they prove it short of lifting her shirt? No one was going to do that, though if he needed too Jack was willing to strip her and throw her in the hall. Except that circled back into the list of things Kaito would be mad about. Because apparently Kai was special/
Lightning struck and Jack caught red again. Without him realizing it, Kaito had managed to remove the bandages, laying bare the stitches and dripping blood. Jack was up again in a flash, upright before the next peal of thunder. ******** hell that didn’t look good.
“You’re not sleeping with your arm bleeding like that,” Jack said firmly. “And don’t give me that s**t about it stopping in a minute. It hasn’t stopped yet and it’s already been a minute.” At this rate that arm was going to stay damaged forever, reinjured over and over. Freaking doctor hadn’t even done the stitches right if they were letting the blood slip through so strongly now. His eyes darted around in a desperate bid for something he could use to clean the bed.
________________________________
" S t a n d i n g . o n . t h e . e d g e . . . "
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:15 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxIn the BRIGHTEST HOURxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof my DARKEST DAYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx I realizedxxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssWHAT IS WRONG WITH MExxx]▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Dorian quickly gathered Aiden against him when the boy had accepted his hold, wanting to stay like that. It was a curious phenomenon that you were stronger when you had something to protect and this was no exception. The fear that lingered at the corner of his mind, en echo of the dream, didn’t seem nearly as important when he could focus on making sure someone like this was warm and safe and dry and not hurting. He noted again that Aiden was too light, even for someone that small. It was probably hypocritical to note that someone needed to eat more, but that didn’t make it any less true. Aiden was too light, too fragile, especially since Dorian could barely keep from tightening his grip again and again.
The soft begging answer welcome a flood of relief. Aiden wanted to stay, wasn’t afraid of him any longer, believed that Dorian wasn’t going to hurt him. Oh god, he hadn’t realized how much he’d needed to know that until the anticipation of an opposite reaction melted away. His eyes traced the almost unseen silhouette in his lap. He could, if he wanted to, couldn’t he? The details wouldn’t come into focus in his mind but suddenly there was a sharp, direct conflict in his mind. He couldn’t hurt Aiden. He wanted to do something that Aiden didn’t need to deal with. So he shouldn’t. But he wanted to. Badly.
People underestimated the power of touch. Connecting with someone mentally was important, but touch sealed it. From birth people were surrounded by others, but the older they got the harder it was to figure out how to just take comfort in another’s presence. Dorian didn’t want to push this, wouldn’t push this. But he wanted to just take something of the moment. And give something if he could. He prayed to god he wasn’t doing even more damage than his nightmare had done.
His lips touched the place where Aiden’s mouth ended, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of the other’s lips. It was a gentle touch, but it lingered a moment too long to be considered a simple brush of contact. Gratitude, apology, confusion mingled in the gentle motion. Dorian’s finger’s moved to trace a jawline, applying just enough pressure to keep the boy from turning and deepening the kiss, his own actions unhurried. When he finally lifted his head he tucked Aiden flush against him once more.
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCan't get over youxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxCan't get through to youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's been a xxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssHELTER SKELTER ROMANCExxx]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx FROM THE START --------►
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:28 pm
 Ren Matsuri
the sound of your voice...is so wonderful to me.
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Ren woke up. the door had been opened rather loudly, and he usually slept very lightly when he had no music playing. he kept his eyes closed hoping to fall back asleep at first, because he didn't know what had woken him up...until he heard footsteps. he opened his eyes to see, and there was a guy here...reaching for his coat. "that's mine you know. i kinda need it..." Ren said, still barely woken up. his eyes were open now, but he didn't move. "what time is it" he said after a while. noticing that is had become dark.
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if it were the last sound i could hear...i'd still be happy.
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:39 pm
 xxxxxx[ Dear Diary, ]
Mel paused at the sound of the voice though he didn’t immediately look up. He gave the jacket a sudden poke, then grinned, eyes finally turning to the redhead. The corners of his lips widened in a slow grin, delighted to have someone new to mess with now that the stranger was awake. He sat down hard on the bed, making it bounce once in an attempt to make the still form move. “I thought it was mine,” he said easily. “I left a jacket like that in here the other day. Can you prove that one’s yours?” Mel wasn’t even sure he really wanted the jacket, but the lie slipped out easily before he’d even had time to consider. Maybe Mika would want it.
His shoulders lifted in a shrug, glancing out the window. He’d been stuck listening to the principal’s lecture for so long that his sense of time was skewed. “Late,” was the best he could do. His feet kicked back and forth as they dangled over the edge of the bed. One hand moved and curled around a few strands of the other boy’s red hair, pulling on it gently. “Hey, wake up,” he demanded, utterly unconcerned with the notion that he’d barged into a stranger’s room and started harassing them. “Tell me your name.”
[ Today I told a lie. ]xxxxxx
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:19 pm
Ren Matsuri
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Ren watched the guy come over to him, and jump onto his bed. the resulting force caused him to almost fall off the bed. the kid saying the jacket was his bothered him a little, but his riding instructor had told him it wasn't safe to ride without the extra protection of leather, and a few close scrapes had proven it to Ren. "on the left side, that long cut is from a piece of debris that hit me when an idiot jumped the median and hit a red accord. i managed to stay out of it, but the flying metal cut halfway through. also, my phone and wallet are in the left pocket, and my mp3 player is in the right, all three have my name on them." Ren said. when the kid pulled his hair, Ren's body just followed the motion up, reducing the pain. "my name is Ren Matsuri...now can you please let go?"
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:31 pm
xxxxxx[ Dear Diary, ]
Mel laughed lightly when Ren nearly fell off the bed, pleased enough not to try a second attempt. Mel wasn’t violent. He didn’t like actually hurting people. It just happened that a lot of entertaining ideas and sights tended to result in pain or annoyance or anger from others. He waited for Red to right himself, eyes flickering back towards the Jack.
His hand drifted along the material until he found the cut, eyebrows raising very slightly at the story. He would have liked to see that. “You have a motorcycle?” he asked, green eyes lighting up at the idea. What else could he have been riding to have metal hit his arm instead of simply hitting the outside of the car? Mel slipped off the bed and bounded to the window, trying to peer out into the dark towards the parking lot and spot it. But without any artificial light and the storm still blocking the moon and stars it was no use and he returned to the bed disappointed.
When he was near enough his hand went straight into the jacket pocket, pulling out the phone and beginning to fiddle with it, one hand still yanking the red hair. Finally he let go, satisfied with the answer. ”Sure. I’m Mel, a Senior.”
[ Today I told a lie. ]xxxxxx
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:46 pm
 "IN EVERY LIFE IT HAS BEEN SAID THERE COMES A TIME TO JOIN THE DEAD"
“Oh.”
No apology, no pretext or even caring that he’d frightened the smaller boy touching his eyes. It was almost debatable whether he’d even understood what the blonde had said. His blue eyes followed the movement, flicking towards the stylus and the rising and falling of the other’s chest as he drew in deep breaths, the head tilting… When it moved, his eyes turned to it. He didn’t move himself until the light from the screen was suddenly in his eyes and then he only drew his head back a little, blinking slowly as though he wanted to shut his eyes but couldn’t quite remember how.
His eyes tried to move past the screen, trying to see the now too-dark face behind it but his eyes were having trouble adjusting to the light source. He could hear a sigh and see the faint outline of legs moving and the figure was suddenly with him on the floor. Suriel reacted with a slow motion flinch, shoulders curling in defensively but far too gradually to have actually been worth anything if the blonde had really been a threat.
The voice was softer now and Suriel unclenched. A hand touched his forehead and he lifted his eyes, nearly crossing them in an attempt to see what was going on. The effort put a sharp pain through his skull and he gave up, focusing on the boy’s face instead. It was right in front of him now, concerned. Suriel didn’t like the expression. When people were concerned, it meant something had gone wrong. And he had done nothing here. No one knew him. He had done nothing.
The smile was better, but the words were not. While the rest of Suriel’s body remained relatively motionless, his arm suddenly shot out, closing around the other boy’s wrist firmly. He didn’t pull on it, didn’t do anything but keep it still.
“No,” he said finally, eyes gaining just enough focus to lock onto the maple colored eyes not far away. “I don’t need a nurse.” If they gave him more medication now, it would kill him. Whether because he would overdose or because he wouldn’t be able to claw his way out of the world of clouds and gauze he wasn’t sure, but either way he would lose himself.
Only when he was sure that he was understood did the hand slip softly away. His eyes moved back towards the light source. “What were you doing?”
"ADMIT THERE IS NO SECOND CHANCE AND JOIN DEATH IN A FINAL DANCE" 
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:00 pm
Ren Matsuri
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ren was a little surprised that this guy was a year OLDER than him.the thought that he was lying never crossed his mind. that thought passed quickly though. "yeah, it's the black r1000 in the parking lot..." Ren watched mel fiddle with his phone. he wouldn't likely break it, and if he did it was under warranty. he waited for mel to let go of his hair. "so ...are you my roommate?" he asked, assuming no other reason possible for this boy's being here. he got up and checked his radio for the time since this boy held his phone. then he went back and sat down. it was night, and he should probably be asleep. he grabbed his mp3 player out of habit, and slid it into one ear. this was the real reason for getting up...the noises of the day had stopped, and he was getting more and more nervous as time went on. the boy next to him didn't help with the way he was touching him was unusual for such a new acquaintance. the sound relaxed him greatly, and he found that this kid was far less obnoxious when music was playing in ren's head.
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((the bike is a Suzuki GSX-R1000, the phone is a samsung moment.the wallet is pretty standard leather, and the mp3 player is a zen mosaic. for the sake of details that don't seem to fit the texture when i try to put them in the post...actually i'm going to edit in now. ))
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:13 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ xxxxxxxxxxxROBINxxxxxxxxxxxxx[ a l l . t h a t . g l i t t e r s . . . ]▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
That had actually gone a lot more smoothly that Robin had anticipated. He’d half expected another punch, though that would probably be a lot harder to accomplish given the box he was carrying. But as Jack had never been the kind of person to think those things through, the fact that he hadn’t even tried was encouraging. As was the fact that he’d only needed Robin to say something to believe it. The redhead was still a trusting idiot when it came to Robin. Good. He could feel the smirk on his lips and didn’t bother to hide it. This was going to require a bit of patience but as long as Jack believed him, the idiot would stick up for him. And that was all the opening he needed to have a lot of fun over the next few months. Who said the road to victory had to be filled with strife?
He pulled his stuff into the room. Couldn’t follow Jack. That would make him look clingy. Better to give just enough space that Jack sought him out later. It was all about control. You didn’t want to want them, you wanted to make sure they wanted you. It was a balancing act, especially in the time before control solidified, but that was part of the fun.
He lifted his head as he drug his things in, spotting a small brunette on one of the beds. The other two looked rather unoccupied so he snagged one, heaving his bag onto the middle and beginning to unpack. He’d introduce himself in a minute. First, he wanted to listen. Robin’s movements were slow, eyes on the wall between his room and Jack’s. He couldn’t hear everything, but he could definitely hear the more angry words. Trouble in paradise indeed. Would this game even last long enough to be fun? Oh well. As long as he won, there wasn’t a problem.
Robin’s gaze turned back to his new roommate, appraising him unashamedly. The gray eyes were impassive. Natural amusement at the brunette’s height flickered in his eyes as he began pulling out clothes and sorting them into different piles. A deck of cards landed on his pillow along with a second pack of cigarettes for when the first ran out. Smoking was a habit, gambling was the real addiction. Maybe the munchkin would be good for a game or two from time to time.
“Hey,” he said easily. “Robin Saraph.”
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:20 pm
xxxxxx[ Dear Diary, ]
[[ ooc || No worries.]]
Mel had lied about being a senior of course. That was what he green haired boy did. He lied, almost constantly, about things that weren’t even important enough for most people to bother lying about. It was more than habit. He didn’t even have to think of things to say or stories to put forth any longer. He usually didn’t even bother trying to keep his lies straight. Eventually everyone figured it out anyway. Still, it would be fun for a while before Ren caught on.
“Can I ride it?” he asked idly, still messing with the phone. His hand slid away from the red hair so he could use both hands to scroll through everything he could find, finally settling on a small pixilated game that had probably come with the phone. Small beeps and blips filled the silence as he proceeded to die quickly. And again and again. Mel wasn’t always very good at video games. It probably would have been easier though, if he’d bothered to find out what the game was or how to play it before randomly pressing buttons.
“I haven’t decided,” Mel answered with a small playful smile. “Do you want me to be?”
[ Today I told a lie. ]xxxxxx
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Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:47 pm
Ren Matsuri
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm sorry." Ren said. "but that bike is kinda special to me...i don't usually let people touch it, let alone ride it." Ren said, amused that Mel had chosen one of the classic games, and even more amused that he was trying to play with the buttons...that game used the touch screen...which probably explained the dying. "um. you use the touch screen to move. the buttons are for using attacks." Ren said, watching over Mel's shoulder."what do you mean you haven't decided?" Ren said, honestly confused. "aren't you already a student here?" he tried to think of a situation where this would happen...did he get kicked out of his old room or something? could he not afford board? did he just now get enough for board? nothing really made sense, but Ren went with it anyways. "i guess it's fine...there doesn't appear to be anyone else here at least. why don't you already have a room?"
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Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 1:43 pm
╔════════════════════╗
soʀɑᴢoʀɑsʜɪɪ кɑɪᴛo
╚════════════════════╝
"An artist is a dreamer consenting to dream of the actual world"
Kaito slide the slate blue orbs from the stretched stitching on his arm and towards Jack just as the lightning vanished and took the world of color with it. So he couldn't see the expression on the other boy's face, but his firm tone made it fairly easy to paint the scowl he was probably recieving as he was informed he wasn't sleeping with the arm like that. Oddly enough, the return of the more demanding version of his red-head had the young heir relaxing a little as some of the tension slide from his shoulders.
"It only stretched a little. There should be a salve for it in the bag and the pills will help."He pointed out, his tone flat as usual but the words seeming to contain a trace of submission in a way to Jack's mothering as the dark hide the light quirk of one eyebrow, because Jack was HERE. He wasn't in the other room asking about Robin or why he was here or anything else. Kaito WOULD kill the grey haired boy, but for the moment he was content to accept the fact that HE had the red-head's attention not the other boy.
"Help me re-wrap it?"the ice was thawing rapidly from his aura and voice as he shifted so his head was pressing against Jack's side and his arm was held up for the other boy to see, well as much as COULD be seen in the dark room. He was NOT above using his injured arm to keep his roommate exactly where he was. Because until he killed Robin and removed him permanently from Jack's affections, Kaito would have to play dark and dirty to make sure he didn't loose. No one was going to take his roommate away, no matter what, and he'd won enough boardroom games to know how he would have to play it. Most of his manipulations would have to be against the grey haired b*****d though, because he couldn't really force himself to do anything serious that might edge towards a lie to Jack. That was a first for him.
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Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 1:58 pm
Aiden's midnight orbs closed as he was bundled closer to Dorian's warmth, feeling the hold tighten several times. He wasn't sure how to handle the conflicting emotions crashing around in his chest and making it feel tight. He so wanted to stay here, in the warmth and safety for forever, but he also knew what an illusion both was. The brunette was still trapped in the fear cycle of the dream, just reaching for something to break the fear and nothing more. When the sun came up he'd not want the dark haired boy to be there any more than he'd wanted him before the nightmare.
So with the selfish desire of someone used to having the things he wanted taken away over and over, he clung to the moment while feeling the pain of knowing just how short it was going to be. He felt the singer move slightly before something soft and warm pressed against the corner of his mouth. His eyes snapping open instantly as he recognized the sensation. Emotions flickered too fast to read through his gaze as he registered that same...SOMETHING that had drugged him in their first kiss. The something that made it impossible to forget and made him want to reach for it with both hands even if he knew he'd get sliced to ribbons in doing so.
He could feel something in the kiss, like it was trying to say something, but it was written in a foreign language. He just knew it felt good, but the fingers on his jaw kept him from being able to turn his head and seek something deeper in it. Chase down the emotions and maybe understand them on some level. Trapped, forced to simply feel something he could never have, his pupils dilated sharply. The slim frame remained obediently submissive under the hold until he was released and pulled against the brunette once more.
Aiden didn't have the tears to react to the maelstrom in his heart, or even the words to understand the clash of emotions that contradicted everything he knew and each other all at once. He also didn't want to make another mistake and get thrown out NOW rather than in the morning when the nightmare faded away completely. So he squeezed his eyes tightly closed and held onto to the warmth of a human body. His frame beginning to shake, either from the cold or the crash of his own emotions he couldn't tell.
"Please."he wasn't even aware he'd let the begged word slip past his lips, or even what he was asking for. He just couldn't handle the pain of knowing something he'd never have, the desire to hold it close, the wish to be worth something to someone. To have gotten to turn and maybe find something close to salvation in that kiss. In some ways he wanted to return to the dark of his own world because it oddly hurt less there and yet he was as bad as the fly to light, unable to do anything but draw closer to his doom.
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