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 Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:32 pm
To: FreakShow @ Shinra.org
From: Hojo @ Shinra.org
Subject: How cute
-----
It thinks it's people, correcting my grammar.
I know full-well what my chemicals do, and I'm almost certain I will have one less lab tech and one more test subject thanks to your generous information. It seems some of my lackeys are lacking in work ethic.
I appreciate your willingness to aid in the efficiency of my department. I'll be sure to reward you with something oh so special in the future.
You like table scraps I assume? Or perhaps a bone is more your style?
Of course the testing will continue regardless. Now behave yourself like a good whatever-the-h***-you are, because no matter how many sharp things I put into you, I cannot quite seem to figure out to which family you belong; Not that that matters for my purposes.
Regards,
Prof. Kyoushirou Hojo
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:31 pm
To: BratPrince @ shinra.org
From: HonourGuard @ Shinra.org
Subject: Don’t Worry
I’m keeping an eye on Genesis, he’s returned to “resting” in is room. Currently standing outside his door on my PHS .
Any additional information about the zombies we should be aware about?
Sincerely,
Angeal Hewley
P.S. Don’t worry, I’ll stop by your office later and pick up Loveless – Genesis will be less likely to pitch a fit.
P.P.S And what's this about allowing Hojo near food? Didn't we learn the consequencs the last time that happened?
------------
To: BratPrince @ shinra.org
From: LovelessFan @ Shinra.org
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Where is my book?
Angeal has convinced me that using my skills to defeat this so called zombie hoard not only takes precedence over my desire to seek out and destroy whoever stole my book, but would be an excellent way to test my skills.
So fine, I will refrain from killing any lowly mongrels. For now.
~ Genesis R.
P.S.
I am strictly above begging, therefore I will threaten. If Hojo is within 60 feet of my food, I will do something. The result will not be pretty.
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:47 pm
To: [All Contacts] @ Shinra.org
From: SpaceCase @ Shinra.org
Subject: Legal Department Obligations
The Legal Department has informed me that I have been sending "unnecessarily profane" emails to the employees of this company. I am justified in my language, and also would like to think that everyone receiving this email is not childish enough to complain of the language used. It is English. Nothing more, nothing less. Bite me.
I was also made to write this Email as an apology for previous inter-company threats and actions, but this is just a ploy to take eyes off a certain few fuc... I mean, people. I meant people. Deal with it. In addition to this email being sent, I was prescribed and ordered to take some kind of medication that will "Help me mellow out." I am mellow, and do not need your drugs to help me accomplish that. I hope the legal department reads this: I threw that s*** away.
P.S. F***ing gag me with a fork.
~ That Pissed Off Pilot Has Been Absolved of His Previous Bulls***
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:26 am
To: SpaceCase @ Shinra.org
From: Hojo @ Shinra.org
Subject: RE: Legal Department Obligations
-----
Ah yes the legal department. Sometimes I wish they would come see me directly before wantonly throwing out their warnings and threats... no, in fact I wish they'd come see me right now so that I might have a few more test subjects for my newest brilliant idea!
And to top it off that would alleviate several of both of our problems I'm sure. Why, I remember the time one of Heidegger's squealing pigs came to accuse me of some minor nuisance he called an "atrocity..." The melodrama was quite large and if not so annoying, it might actually have been amusing...
I believe his name was Jim. Oh but he had a constitution on him--lasted several days of testing and still had some fight in him. For all I know he may even still be alive somewhere, probably curled up in a corner somewhere in one of the smaller less frequented labs. I should have my lab techs look for him, he was...how to say... quaint.
I suppose this has nothing to do with you though, I'll let you get back to your grand rocket plans. Do bring me back a souvenir if you ever manage to get out there; the livelier the better.
Regards,
Prof. Kyoushirou Hojo
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:13 am
To: SpaceCase @ Shinra.org
From: RookieGurl01 @ Shinra.org
Subject: RE: Legal Department Obligations
------
Apology accepted, Space-man.
So, uh... If you're nice and... mellow, was it? Yeah, mellow. I have an, uh... hypothetical situation for you. Say someone recently found a couple of... we'll say items, that don't belong to them in their room. And that these items showed up coincidentally after certain items went missing from another person. Hypothetically speaking, what would you do to that person if the, uh, items turned out to be yours?
This is all just hypothetical of course, because I totally don't know anyone who... would... have them? Eheheheh...
*eLEnA*
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:34 am
To: RookieGurl01 @ Shinra.org
From: SpaceCase @ Shinra.org
Subject: You Have The Plans?
Elena... You're Reno's pet, aren't you? That f***ing Reno stole my s*** and stashed it all in your room. Lovely. Just fantastic. For once I thought he'd be good for something, dammit. He brings me two things I f***ing need and leaves with two other things I f***ing need. I'm due for a conference in the Main building, I'll be stopping by.
To answer your question, hypothetically, if it were the person that actually stole the damn s***, I would likely volunteer you for Hojo's experiments followed by strapping your disfigured f***ing body to the g**d*** rocket testing pad. However, this does not apply to you. This will apply to Reno. His a** is mine.
~ That Considerably Less Pissed Off Pilot
------------------
To: Hojo @ Shinra.org
From: SpaceCase @ Shinra.org
Subject: You want a test subject?
There's been a group of g**d*** basilisks running around out here being complete a**holes. They've been coming within range to take off with one of my crew, and it's getting damn near annoying. I'm about 10 seconds from slaughtering their scaly a**es, but I'm enjoying the fact that you agree with me about the g**d*** Legal Department. The place is ran by d*cks, they just enjoy f***ing everyone. In light of this, if you want the Basilisks alive, I have 4 of them in nets right now. They're yours if you get here before 18:00.
~ That Considerably Less Pissed Off Pilot
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 10:58 am
To: SpaceCase @ Shinra.org
From: Rookiegurl1 @ Shinra.org
Subject: RE: You Have The Plans?
-------
I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I DID- wait... You aren't going to kill me? Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou! I'll get everything together for you, Space-man, sir!
J-just don't let Reno know I told you, okay?
*eLEnA*
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To: Hojo @ Shinra.org
From: BombQueen @ Shinra.org
Subject: RE: Our "fearless leader"
------
I guess it really was too much to hope for you to stay gone. Oh well, no matter. These "zombies" that everyone is making such a fuss about will make for such interesting subjects for testing our new explosives on. President Shinra insists that I keep the damage to a bare minimum, so I unfortunately cannot use my more... interesting... weaponry. I do so hope these "zombies" are as resilient as you boast.
I also think it is safe to assume that I will be avoiding the cafeteria food for the remainder of your return.
~Scarlet
------
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:51 pm
To: BombQueen @ Shinra.org
From: Hojo @ Shinra.org
Subject: RE: Resilient
-----
I suppose that's one word for it. Individually they aren't terribly durable, however, any bit you happen to separate from the main body will be both incredibly absorbent (great for mopping your comrades) and incredibly regenerative.
In short, every limb is a possible additional zombie. Low order explosives are not advised as they will only create more of the creatures. High order explosives are also discouraged as they will disrupt my lab, and less importantly destroy the building.
Feel free to neutralize them any other way you like, they're of no more use to me... perhaps aside from janitorial supplies... But that's why I have lab techs.
Oh, and they're located in one of the SOLDIER storage closets, a few of the office levels, and most of the 13th floor, sans the hallways. I wonder if Holly the receptionist made it out alive... she had fascinating bone structure...like a cactuar that one...
Enjoy your little game,
Prof. Kyoushirou Hojo
____________________________________________________________
To: SpaceCase @ Shinra.org
From: Hojo @ Shinra.org
Subject: Basilisks?
-----
Yes... yes I like that. I haven't had many of those to study. I'll send my lab techs to pick them up. I'll also send by a particularly unpleasant aerosol spray with them. Not for you, of course, but it should deter the intruding peons... a warning though, point it away from your face.
It may or may not be highly flammable... I've not tested it for that. I can say it has a particularly unpleasant effect on human skin. Not fatal or anything, but... unpleasant. Enjoy.
Regards,
Prof. Kyoushirou Hojo
____________________________________________________________
To: FreakShow @ Shinra.org
From: Hojo @ Shinra.org
Subject: Playmates
-----
You may be getting some company much sooner than I expected. I hope you've been complying with my lab techs and being a 'good boy.'
The hand that feeds you,
Prof. Kyoushirou Hojo
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:21 pm
To: Hojo @ Shinra.org
From: SpaceCase @ Shinra.org
Subject: RE: Basilisks?
Now that we're back on schedule and rid of those damn beasts, we attempted to test fire the engines we have mounted to our testing platform. After a series of events, we discovered that your aerosol spray is indeed incredibly f***ing flammable. In fact, it's more of a combustive reaction when electricity is ran through it, then as it mixes with air it burns incredibly hot. We don't know what you put in this s***, but make some more of it. It makes for some damn good ignition fluid. Also, I advise keeping this s*** out of Scarlet's hands. No telling what that b**** will cook up with it.
~ That Pissed Off Pilot
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To: Hojo @ Shinra.org
From: FreakShow @ Shinra.org
Subject: RE: Playmates
Do as you see fit. As you can tell, I'm in no position to argue. However, if you could, I'd take some fillet mignon and stuffed shrimp for dinner. Northern salt water cured, if you please. Those Iodine-cured shrimp from down south are utterly disgusting.
~ The Freak On A Leash
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:31 am
To: [All Contacts] @ Shinra.org
From: SciTek @ Shinra.org
Subject: Please be aware...
-----
Hey guys! Great news! ...for science anyway. Some of us lab techs here in the science department accidentally released an unknown possibly dreadful pathogen into the air filtration unit!
If you notice any strange changes in your body--unrelated to puberty--please take the time to document them and send us the results so that we may better aid you in... not being dead.
Please, only submit reports digitally! We're acting as the control group, so if we get affected it'll skew the data!
Here's hoping that wasn't one of those skin unwrapping parasites!
Cheers,
Justan Intern
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:56 am
To: SciTek @ Shinra.org
From: BombQueen @ Shinra.org
Subject: Pathogens...
-----
A possible deadly pathogen is floating through the air, and of course the Science Department is treating it not like an pandemic, but a science experiment.
This would normally be the time that I would express my surprise at such a scenario, but quite frankly with that madman Hojo as the head of your department, my amount of surprise in this development is surprisingly minimal.
I shall keep you informed if myself or my staff spontaneously mutate and/or painfully decompose. And do try to keep the deaths in my staff minimal, it's hard enough finding even subpar help anymore.
I must be off now to start collecting samples from my crew. I'll send them your way shortly.
~Scarlet
P.S.- Do be a dear and let me know if any of these dreadful pathogens can be weaponized. It has been so long since I have worked on bioweaponry. Ta ta!
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:29 am
To: [All Contacts] @ shinra.org
From: Quixotic.Shisun @ Shinra.org
Subject: Um, some help please?
--
Not to bother anyone, but for the fourth time in a row, did anyone hear those explosions coming from the sixth floor? That would be my partners fault and if you see him, do give him my sentiments by placing a straight-jacket on him--he's lost his mind due to those goddamn pathogens.
One minute we were--ahem--having a moment and the next he starts screaming about seeing ghosts and ran off--in just his boxers and socks with just his guns. I'm not sure if you can consider him dangerous, but he is armed. Best to take precautions, ne?
My regards,
Okunawa, Shisun.
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To: [All contacts] @ Shinra.org
From: Wild.Underground @ Shinra.org
Subject: AHHHHHH
---
THERE'S ******** GHOSTS EVERYWHERE AND ONE KEEPS FOLLOWING---Oh, wait, that's just Sephirot---WAIT WHY IS SEPHIROTH ON THE SIXTH FLOOR? DOESN'T HE USUALLY HANG OUT ON THE ELEVENTH? OH MY GOD SAVE ME BEFORE I'M FORCED TO SHOOT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING HERE. I got several bombs that will more than get rid of all these ghosts--and Sephiroth if he keeps following me--wait, IS it even Sephiroth?? AHHHHH. Hiding now....
Someone come find me.
,Wild._.Style._.Kizu.
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 7:33 am
To: [All contacts] @ Shinra.org
From: CrimsonTurk @ Shinra.org
Subject: ....
...So this account is still active...
...Interesting.
By this, I mean that it's been about 27 years since its creation and by now, I'm also assuming not many will actually get this...
Interestingly enough, I find myself at an impasse as to whether delete this account or keep it....just for old time's sake, heh.
...Not that I'm expecting any responses as not many will know who I am.
=-Turk - GAI012.-=
[Player note: GAI012 was Vince's registration/ID number in DoC. I just figured he'd be really formal in all his emails and such and put his ID for show.]
-------
To: [All Contacts] @ Avalanche.org
From: Crimson.Wings @ Avalanche.org
Subject: Where now?
---
...Alright, so you bust me out only to head-long into the fire. My question being: Where do we go now? I'm currently mid-way between Nibelheim and Cosmos Canyon. I've half a mind to steal one of Cloud's S-Class Chocobos so I can up-and-over these audacious mountains and get to Costa Del Sol... (And you people say I need to get sunlight...heh.)
Don't make me wait too long. Chaos and the others want to play soon and won't be too happy with being made to wait. -smirk-.
=-Vincent.Valentine-=
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 3:07 pm
To: Crimson.Wings @ Avalanche.org
From: HyperactiveNinjaGirl @ Avalanche.org
Subject: Re: Where now?
---
Viiiiinnnnceee!! Hiya!! I'm actually nearby, I can easily come by and get you!
...I wouldn't recommend stealing anything of Cloud's...he gets really sentimental and angry. At least, he did when I took everyone's Materia---NOT THAT YOU NEEDED TO KNOW THIS. Ehehehehe, I just, what can I say? Uhhhh, GETTING OFF THAT SUBJECT NOW--
Ireallyhavetogonowbeforesomeonesee'smeontheircomputer. I'm...not exactly supposed to be here, ehehehe.....
Anyway! I'll find you sooner or later! And when we meet up, I'm not letting you go until you do what you said you were gonna! I'M STILL HOLDING YOU TO THIS.
'Til then, Vince!!
Bye!!!
~*~*Yuffie Kisaragi, the best Ninja of Wutai!*~*~
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