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I like it, though Im not certain as to how exactly the coin would tie this person to the city. Some backround information may be needed to help your character gain some momentum in the story, but the character sounds solid to me aside from that - or rather the concept does.

I would think about the means by which this coin was cursed, why he those things he is suddenly capable of seeing are so important, and what makes up your character besides this curse, if I were you.

~~~

Notably aside from your "main" character you (both of you) also need to consider a main plot and what sub plots and characters you wish that plot to contain. This story is still mostly undeveloped so I undestand if anything aside from vague suggestions and ideas eludes you at the moment, still it may be prefferable if you think about the things you may want to portray in this story.

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Alas though, for what is this story?....we need ideas...and names. We need to know who the protagonists and antagonists are, we need to know which group hides and which group controls, we need to know many things...

perhaps we should go on a tangent for a moment...

Maybe now we should invent the important people in this tale....
...

Ermm that's a bit vague though, and the idea is somewhat hard to explain. I better show it too you.

<3< <> c3< <3


For suspense purposes, and to ensure that the two of you cannot call my plot perfectally, My character shall call himself "Black" in his first appearence. I want him to play a covert role in letting some scholar in with the half-key, but do this under the main guise of distracting politicians with a game of cards which holds prisoner a women he claims he is obligated to save.



Edit: What would you like your story to be about?

I wish for my story not to center around the man with a magic deck of cards, but only to include him in some parts. I want to make him desirable on the outside, I want him to appear as though he is in control...

I have a point to step off from though: The event in which the mist swallows up the section of the city..this city and its parts...what should they be called?


I think it should be called tartarus. Tartarus is where the enemies of the gods, in greek mythology, were locked, and the lower of the two parts of the underworld.

...Oh wow.

Hades was often depicted as holding a key to symbolize his role as jailer of the underworld. This works quite well with the fact that you cannot inform any one of the city's existance and that it is considered to be something of an underworld, though not particularly evil. In light of this we may want to make the characters of this story call the keys "The keys of hades"

hmm should you all (and 'all' is used lieniently here) agree with this, I would suggest that the act of allowing someone entrance into the city be called "charuning." After the ferryman of the river of styx.

On that note, entrance into Tartarus may only be granted to a person when they sign their name with closed eyes onto the contract which is to bind with the never ending roll of information which is held in the great tower at the center of the city. The contract will only become binding when a person verbally agrees to come to the city to a charun (the person who will lead them to tartarus), and may only know about the city after he or she has signed the contract. If they do not agree verbally before opening their eyes, and the charun confirms so by asking "You have no coin then?" then the person will forget that they signed the contract, and the contract will disintigrate into ash. Else, if the person opens their eyes before they have agreed, then the paper will become blank, and only the signature will remain

Indeed, I am rather busy myself so I will take my time to refine my ideas as well.

The above post of mine was supposed to hover around the point that we should not only come up with a main character but a list of characters that we think would be useful to us, or simply ones which we think might make for good stories for other co-authors. Just a thought.

-warmth-

heh that's one out of three, now will the other two show, and is one of the other two even still participating?

I'm leaning towards the first one, just because I don't know what the slumber of the god(ess?) of night would imply... I'm fairly certain the Nyx was the god(ess?) of night... I could look it up, but... eh...

The first one bothers me because I keep thinking, "The City of Tarter Sauce?" But I suppose majority rules. And I'll get over it. razz

lolz You are.

NOVA! He's been raiding your closet again!!! Check your underwear!

xd domokun

I'll quote that as a double ew... xd