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 Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 9:49 pm
Ninjara Nekoumi - please do not post jokes about babies like that. i, being a parent, find them offensive. O-M-G. eek Nekoumi I agree with Ninjara, those 'jokes' just aint funny talk2hand
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:18 pm
Angel Indeed I Love this joke: A panda walks into a diner, orders a meal, and eats it quietly. He gets up, shoots the waiter in the knee, and exits the diner without another word. The same panda returns the next day. The owner stops him at the door and say, "Why the hell did you shoot my waiter yesterday?" The Panda replies, "Look me up in the encyclopedia." THe owner goes and gets an encyclopedia and there in the Panda entry, under diet it says, 'Eats shoots and leaves." I never heard that before, but I loved it! heart blaugh *huggles Angel Indeed*
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:24 pm
Here's one I can't believe I fell for.... redface sweatdrop gonk
There are two rules for the world
rule number one: Don't tell everything you know.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 9:27 am
LadyInsane05 I'm pretty sure everybody heard of dis joke but if ya didnt..here we go: One day this guy was sun boathing in his back yard readin a newspaper when all the sudden a little girl walks up to him..He quickly covers his "monkey" with the news paper and acts normal as possible..The girl asked him what unfer the news paper..and the guy said "my bird"..she asked if she could play with the bird and the guys said no..angrily the girl walks off and that was that.. so the guy falls alseep for a lil while and wakes up in the hospital..confused and dazed he asked "what the hell happend, why am i here".the docter said the only person who knew what happend was the little girl..she came in and told him what happend.." While you were sleeping, i played with your bird. It spit at me so I bcracked it's eggs, broke its neck, and set its nest on fire." heart Im sorry to all the guys that were affected by this joke..me lovers you heart Oh my god that was good lol.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:17 am
RevanStar Ninjara Nekoumi - please do not post jokes about babies like that. i, being a parent, find them offensive. O-M-G. eek Nekoumi I agree with Ninjara, those 'jokes' just aint funny talk2hand
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:29 am
These were actual questions and answers from Family Feud. Some people can be such morons.
Q: Something in the garden thats green?
A: A shed.
Q: Something that flies that doesnt have an engine?
A: A bicycle with wings.
Q: Something you could be allergic to?
A: Skiing.
Q: Something you can do in the bathroom?
A: Decorate.
Q: Something associated with cops?
A: Pigs.
Q: A potato topping?
A: Jam.
Q: Non-living creature with legs?
A: Plant.
Q: A domestic animal?
A: Leopard.
Q: Part of the body that starts with "N"?
A: Knee.
Q: Name something a blind person might use?
A: A sword.
Q: Name a occupation that you might need a torch?
A: A burglar.
Q: Name a item or clothing worn by the three musketeers?
A: Horse.
Q: Name something that floats in the bath?
A: Water.
Q: Name something you wear at the beach?
A: A deck chair.
Q: Something you do before going to bed?
A: Sleep.
Q: Something you put on the walls?
A: Roofs.
and the best ever screw up on family fued is...
Q: Name a number you have to memorize?
A: 7.
Who let these people on the show??
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:30 am
Ok, Firstly, I'm really sh*t at telling jokes, and secondly, this may offend.... I can't see it doing it but, never pays to say sorry first! It saves me time later! xd
A young man's been saving up for a new motorbike for almost a year, when he gives in and buys a second hand one. The only one in his price range is perfect, except for one sopt on the leather seat. But the sales man re assures him that a Vasaline rubbed into it when it rains serves just as well. The young man is so pleased with his new bike that he pays for it, recieves a tub of vasaline and drives it straight over to his girlfriends house to have dinner with her parents.
His girlfriend meets him at the door and explains that they have only one family rule over the dinner table. The first one to speak has to do the dishes.
They all sit down at the table and the food is brought in, sure enough, no one speaks.
Looking around, the young man decides to see just how deep this rule went. So he grabs his girlfriend and makes love to her on the table. Her father goes red with anger and Her mother stares on in disbelief, but neither say anything. The young man likes this, so he grabs the mother and does the same thing to her too. His girlfriend bursts into tears and the father is getting even angrier, but still they make no sound.
Brushing himself off, the young mans sat there quite pleased with himself, when he looks up and sees it's starting to rain. Concerned for his bike, he jumps up and pulls out the tub of vasaline. The father looks worried and jumps up shouting
"F*ck that! I'll do the bl**dy dishes!"
Told you I was bad at telling jokes.....
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:46 am
Mrs_Reaper Ok, Firstly, I'm really sh*t at telling jokes, and secondly, this may offend.... I can't see it doing it but, never pays to say sorry first! It saves me time later! xd
A young man's been saving up for a new motorbike for almost a year, when he gives in and buys a second hand one. The only one in his price range is perfect, except for one sopt on the leather seat. But the sales man re assures him that a Vasaline rubbed into it when it rains serves just as well. The young man is so pleased with his new bike that he pays for it, recieves a tub of vasaline and drives it straight over to his girlfriends house to have dinner with her parents.
His girlfriend meets him at the door and explains that they have only one family rule over the dinner table. The first one to speak has to do the dishes.
They all sit down at the table and the food is brought in, sure enough, no one speaks.
Looking around, the young man decides to see just how deep this rule went. So he grabs his girlfriend and makes love to her on the table. Her father goes red with anger and Her mother stares on in disbelief, but neither say anything. The young man likes this, so he grabs the mother and does the same thing to her too. His girlfriend bursts into tears and the father is getting even angrier, but still they make no sound.
Brushing himself off, the young mans sat there quite pleased with himself, when he looks up and sees it's starting to rain. Concerned for his bike, he jumps up and pulls out the tub of vasaline. The father looks worried and jumps up shouting
"F*ck that! I'll do the bl**dy dishes!"
Told you I was bad at telling jokes..... that's hilarious
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 11:20 pm
Mrs_Reaper Ok, Firstly, I'm really sh*t at telling jokes, and secondly, this may offend.... I can't see it doing it but, never pays to say sorry first! It saves me time later! xd
A young man's been saving up for a new motorbike for almost a year, when he gives in and buys a second hand one. The only one in his price range is perfect, except for one sopt on the leather seat. But the sales man re assures him that a Vasaline rubbed into it when it rains serves just as well. The young man is so pleased with his new bike that he pays for it, recieves a tub of vasaline and drives it straight over to his girlfriends house to have dinner with her parents.
His girlfriend meets him at the door and explains that they have only one family rule over the dinner table. The first one to speak has to do the dishes.
They all sit down at the table and the food is brought in, sure enough, no one speaks.
Looking around, the young man decides to see just how deep this rule went. So he grabs his girlfriend and makes love to her on the table. Her father goes red with anger and Her mother stares on in disbelief, but neither say anything. The young man likes this, so he grabs the mother and does the same thing to her too. His girlfriend bursts into tears and the father is getting even angrier, but still they make no sound.
Brushing himself off, the young mans sat there quite pleased with himself, when he looks up and sees it's starting to rain. Concerned for his bike, he jumps up and pulls out the tub of vasaline. The father looks worried and jumps up shouting
"F*ck that! I'll do the bl**dy dishes!"
Told you I was bad at telling jokes..... LMAO! xd
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:27 am
i find this funny...and of course, it is NOT meant to offend anyone, i don't think it will but just in case....
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on to you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
To hell with this endless poem
The perfect man is gay.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:53 am
Sora_ookami OMG! that scared the s**t out of me! God, *so scared* Those stupid lyrics are stuck in meh head and I keep seeing those pics! *cowers* AHHHHHH!!! gonk *runs away heart pounding in shock and surprise* OMG! *runs and finally has a heart attack and dies*
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:27 am
Hoshizzn.
I found some of those baby jokes funny, I need help.
whee
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 3:25 am
xAsh-chanx i find this funny...and of course, it is NOT meant to offend anyone, i don't think it will but just in case.... The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean. The perfect man likes children And will raise them by your side He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride The perfect man loves cooking Cleaning and vacuuming too He'll do anything in his power To convey his feelings of love on to you. The perfect man is sweet Writing poetry from your name He's a best friend to your mother And kisses away your pain. He never has made you cry Or hurt you in any way To hell with this endless poem The perfect man is gay. :3 A three-legged dog walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Can I help you?" The dog replies, "No, I'm just looking for the man who shot my paw."
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 5:34 pm
Mrs_Reaper RevanStar Ninjara Nekoumi - please do not post jokes about babies like that. i, being a parent, find them offensive. O-M-G. eek Nekoumi I agree with Ninjara, those 'jokes' just aint funny talk2hand I think ya'll are too uptight, jokes are a form of humor, and humor is an art form, and if someone didnt find it offencive it wouldnt be funny, lighten up, its not like they were bieng serious, thats whats wrong with the world, people like ya'll take everything so serious and cant find a positive in the negative...
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:53 pm
Roxie_0R Mrs_Reaper RevanStar Ninjara Nekoumi - please do not post jokes about babies like that. i, being a parent, find them offensive. O-M-G. eek Nekoumi I agree with Ninjara, those 'jokes' just aint funny talk2hand I think ya'll are too uptight, jokes are a form of humor, and humor is an art form, and if someone didnt find it offencive it wouldnt be funny, lighten up, its not like they were bieng serious, thats whats wrong with the world, people like ya'll take everything so serious and cant find a positive in the negative... i don't agree...just because it's humor..it's not always exeptable...if i started making racist jokes i would get in ALOT of trouble...dead baby jokes are the same
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