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We still kill the old way.... (The Venting Thread) Goto Page: [] [<<] [<] 1 2 3 ... 10 11 12 13 14 15 [>] [»|]

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Oni no Tenshi
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 11:07 pm


Koiyuki
My mom just got through with giving me a speech about how I forgot to get her burrito from the car, and how she felt that I was treating everyone nicer than I treat her. Well I treat everyone else the same way I treat her, I do what I can for them, and if I can't, then I can't. The thing is, she doesn't see that, and thinks I'm neglecting her. And she says that she shows me love buy buying me food, internet, and all that; but thats the trouble. I don't want material love. I don't want food, I don't want drinks, I don't want things. I want love. Emotional, pure love. The same love I show to everyone else I meet. And that kind of love, she never shows to me, no matter what I do to get it. And she says I should treat others the way they treat me. Well if thats the case, I should be a selfish, manipulaive a*****e that only gives a s**t about what I want. I shouldn't care about how others feel or if what they're doing is more important, oh no, no. I should only watch out for #1, ******** everybody else.

Well, as anyone that really knows me knows, I don't work that way. I give to others. I befriend assholes if they need my help and guidance. I don't expect a damn thing in return for my kindness. I expect to see a smile on their face and joy in their hearts. Thats what I want. For them to be happy, not some ******** toy or McD's, or whatever.

Thats why I ******** hate living in a materialistic society. Everyone seems to think that things show love. In reality, things are things, they don't don't show any emotions. They don't feel anything. They're lifeless, emotionless, and easily disposed of. A hug or a kiss, however, is not easily thrown away. Telling someone you love them or cooking them a hot meal says and means a whole lot more than giving them a cheap, manufactured card that says the same s**t or taking them to some fancy, expensive a** restaurant for their anneversery.

My signature says I'm questing for a genuine smile, but with the way my family is going, thats looking more and more like a quest thats more improbable than the Angelic Halo. The love in this house is all but gone, and everytime I try to ignite the spark of love, its quickly snuffed out. Everybody's ywlling, everybody angry, and everybody seems to be busy earning money they don't need, and things they don't need...

Someone once told me I had a pure heart, but its hard to appreciate when no one will take the time to look at it. Someday, I will find the ability to show a genuine smile, but until then, I'll keep searching. From clubs to bookstores, Southern to Northern California, USA to Japan, I will span the globe, if I need to. All the money in the world cannot buy someone's love, and all the things in the world cannot replace a geuine smile...


*loves Koi* Just the way you are....
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 5:30 am


Hey Koi, have you told these exact words to her? You should, if you haven't.

Though if you need someone to go and smack some sense inmto your family, let me know. MANDINGO SHALL ASSIST!!!

Lord Vyce
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Koiyuki
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 12:45 pm


Lord Vyce
Hey Koi, have you told these exact words to her? You should, if you haven't.

Though if you need someone to go and smack some sense inmto your family, let me know. MANDINGO SHALL ASSIST!!!


I try and try, time and again to explain these things to them, but they just won't listen. They won't let me grow up, and they're dead set in the "stuff=love" mindset. I effin' hate it with all my heart and soul, but theres nothing I can do to change them. The only thing I can do is to get the hell outta here and start living on my own...*looks toward the city Oni lives in. Hugs Oni*
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:37 pm


Koiyuki
Lord Vyce
Hey Koi, have you told these exact words to her? You should, if you haven't.

Though if you need someone to go and smack some sense inmto your family, let me know. MANDINGO SHALL ASSIST!!!


I try and try, time and again to explain these things to them, but they just won't listen. They won't let me grow up, and they're dead set in the "stuff=love" mindset. I effin' hate it with all my heart and soul, but theres nothing I can do to change them. The only thing I can do is to get the hell outta here and start living on my own...*looks toward the city Oni lives in. Hugs Oni*



Well, you do know I am having a birthday party for my 21st on the weekend after my actual birthday.....we're all hoping to go bowling and have some fun, even though I probably won't drink anything (alcoholism on both sides of family=not good prospect for me). I just like being with friends and being cared for.

Now, of course, you gotta take care of yourself (my number one rule of living on your own and surviving), but friends are for all the time when things go wrong at the wrong time.

*huggles*

Don't worry, things will get better soon, as long as you identify your goals, get some hookups, and then shoot towards your goal like an arrow.

It's always a bit of luck, levity, and persistance that guides each of us to our true path.

Oni no Tenshi
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:45 pm


Oni-Angel
Koiyuki
Lord Vyce
Hey Koi, have you told these exact words to her? You should, if you haven't.

Though if you need someone to go and smack some sense inmto your family, let me know. MANDINGO SHALL ASSIST!!!


I try and try, time and again to explain these things to them, but they just won't listen. They won't let me grow up, and they're dead set in the "stuff=love" mindset. I effin' hate it with all my heart and soul, but theres nothing I can do to change them. The only thing I can do is to get the hell outta here and start living on my own...*looks toward the city Oni lives in. Hugs Oni*



Well, you do know I am having a birthday party for my 21st on the weekend after my actual birthday.....we're all hoping to go bowling and have some fun, even though I probably won't drink anything (alcoholism on both sides of family=not good prospect for me). I just like being with friends and being cared for.

Now, of course, you gotta take care of yourself (my number one rule of living on your own and surviving), but friends are for all the time when things go wrong at the wrong time.

*huggles*

Don't worry, things will get better soon, as long as you identify your goals, get some hookups, and then shoot towards your goal like an arrow.

It's always a bit of luck, levity, and persistance that guides each of us to our true path.


So true in so many ways. *huggles*I already know what I want to do. *write or voice act or teach, massage, possibly* I just need to go for them like they're the things I absolutely need to go for. Whe ia the party, Oni? I'll try and do my best to make it there. It's been a while since I've seen a friend up close...*all of Koi's RL friends are drfiting away*
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:49 pm


Koiyuki
So true in so many ways. *huggles*I already know what I want to do. *write or voice act or teach, massage, possibly* I just need to go for them like they're the things I absolutely need to go for. Whe ia the party, Oni? I'll try and do my best to make it there. It's been a while since I've seen a friend up close...*all of Koi's RL friends are drfiting away*


My party is probably going to be on Saturday the 22nd of October. It's a good solid day in the middle of the weekend, and it'll probably be in the evening/at night. I hope to do a bowling thing, or possibly something involving an anime marathon afterwards. I only hope I can find a place to do it at...maybe M0rgan's place?

Anyway, I hope to do a potluck thing, where people bring tasty food (I bring cake!), and we get together, hang out, and have fun! I'll post more about my party later....

Oni no Tenshi
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 1:36 am


Oni-Angel
Koiyuki
So true in so many ways. *huggles*I already know what I want to do. *write or voice act or teach, massage, possibly* I just need to go for them like they're the things I absolutely need to go for. Whe ia the party, Oni? I'll try and do my best to make it there. It's been a while since I've seen a friend up close...*all of Koi's RL friends are drfiting away*


My party is probably going to be on Saturday the 22nd of October. It's a good solid day in the middle of the weekend, and it'll probably be in the evening/at night. I hope to do a bowling thing, or possibly something involving an anime marathon afterwards. I only hope I can find a place to do it at...maybe M0rgan's place?

Anyway, I hope to do a potluck thing, where people bring tasty food (I bring cake!), and we get together, hang out, and have fun! I'll post more about my party later....


Would you like me to help with cooking if I can make it?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 5:38 am


And now, A bitchrant, By Koiyuki



I am in the firm belief that money is the root of all evil.

Exhibit A: The typical american family.

When they first started out, they were nice and normal, paying bills, getting by, and going through the normal family notions, together and happy with plenty of time to help each other and aid each other in their times of need.

Flash forward to the present, when the husband (and/or wife) gets promoted to a bigger paycheck, and a more demanding job, leaving less time to be with the family and help each other and be with each other when they need each other most. The more they work, the more they get paid; the more they get paid, the more they work; the more they work, the lesss time it leaves them to be with their families and be there for them when they're most needed.

The family begins to grow apart and grow angry and bitter towards each other, the relationship suffers, the home that was once close knit is now divided and destroyed, what little love there is in that place going to...other places and other people.

Eventually, each member of the household starts to look toward some other odd places to look for the same sense of belonging and togetherness they once had at home, like gangs or boy/girlfriends or the poolboy or the secretary.

They find out too late it tears the family further apart and eventually, nothing is left but a broken homoeand bitter feelings feelings towards one another, leaving emotional scars that run deep enough to fester for years and years to come.

Now take Exhibit B: Modern day business

When someone opens a shop, they just want to give the people that come int the store a nice, comfy little place to come and chat and buy some stuff. A nice atmosphre suitable to what they're sellin'.

When they hit upon a bit of success, however, that quickly changes, and they then shirt gears to try and emulate that success over and over and over, little by little losing what they had that made them special and becoming just like every other business that came before them, heartless, cold, unfeeling to its customers, and ultimately, if they ******** up, out of business and back to square one.

And the businesses' that DO continue to thrive? They want to continue to see a profit, so they pay their employees even lower than minimum wage and make them work long and difficult hours, expecting them to do it without question and without challenge, which, sadly, they do, everyday, in every type of business you can think of.

Very rarely do you find a businessman or woman that hasn't been corrupted by the influence their money has on them. Most every multi millionare man or woman has some hot twenty-omething by their side to love them, adore them, and to put their young, nubile bodies to good use. Some of them marry these young ones, but quickly lose interest with them when they grow older and they have less energy and good feeling to give them.

Eventually, they begin to decay and grow in age, and the young eagles waiting in the wings come in to swoop down and take them out of their throne, knocking them into the long drop to the bottom to take their place and take over, repeating the vicious cycle of greed, money and power.

And now, for the final exhibit, Exhibit C: The Gov't

When they first began, they wanted to help the people and govern them under a fair and just system of rules and policies that would ensure equality for all. And what happened over the years as others began to take power and rise to the postion of president? The wholesomeness that this country was founded on began to rot and decay like fallen trees in the woods.

As Gov't branches begans struggling for rights and privileges, they gained more power, and as they gained more power, their purpose and meaning for creation began to become hazy, and ultimately, was lost within the constant and never ceasing struggle to have every ounce of power they could acquire. And if someone held even the tiniest threat to the power they hold, they were immediately squashed and swept under the rug.

Example, a young man in the 70's invents a type of bread that actually prevents hunger and gives its eaters the nutruients they need in their system. Everyone that bought it knew about the beneficial affects it could have on the human body. Apparently, so did the Federal Drug Administration, because they busted in, guns drawn, and told the man to turn over all of his bread to them. Why, you ask? Because it was apparently advertised as a drug. How is that? He told people about the beneficial affects of the bread. And according to the FDA, anything that heals the body is considered a drug. The young said that if were going to take his wonderful bread, they coul at least give it to the countless homeless and let it fill them up and do them some good. Their response? No, it had to be burned and destroyed.

And that is just one in many examples of the FDA trying to 'protect' its people from new kinds of drugs and to 'aid them' by using their drugs. Truth is, they don't want to to recover quickly, if at all. They are cures are the cold, and for cancer and whatnot, and guess what? They ain't givin' 'em out. Why, you ask? No ones sick, no ones gonna buy their s**t. No one buys their s**t, they don't make a profit. They don't make a profit, they go out of business.

They give you pills that do very little to help you recover and heal you. Do they work? Yeah, but its as fast as a slug in the wintertime. Why is it that you have to take a pill for something for the rest of your natural born days? 'Cause thats how the drug is designed to be used. Thats right, its purposely designed to heal you extremely slow.

Is there another way to heal you thats faster? There sure is, in fact, there are plenty of cures readily available in nature itself. They can be found in Africa, in Asia, hell, some are in plants from right in the good ol' USA. But you won't find them endorsed by the FDA, unless it heals very slow, and it can make them money.

Lets not forget the people that run this country, the 'fair and unbiased' politicians of this world. They begin with pure and wholesome ideals in their heart to try and make this country a better place, but them, as they progress in life, they find that they need money to fund their campaigns, and thats where the big companies and their 'special interest groups' come in.

They give the candidate the money they need to fund their famcy TV, radio, and mewspaper blitzes in the media, getting the word out on them and trying to make the other guy look as bad as possible. In time, if they do win, they quickly learn they don't controll what they do next, the people below them and the money the companies paid does.

Meat companies want to make meat increase? They'll have the president approve a few bills to change the Food Pyramid so that you have to eat more meats. And the president wants more money for the wars he so desperately wants us to fight for other countries? No problem, he'll just to the people he sold his soul to-I mean funded his campaign, and ask them for money, as well as congress and the House of Representatives. And when his (or possibly her) term is finally up, then two new candidates step up to the plate, and two new ways to manipulate the Gov't are now available for the big companies to use.

And so, the cycle of love, greed and misery continues for each and every one of us, perpetuated by many things like "Keeping up with the Joneses" and meaningless social status. Maybe the bible had it right all along, maybe money IS the root to all evil. If that is the case, then it has fertile grounds to spread and embed itself further into our society.

Koiyuki
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chikushou
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 6:50 am


*sighs* People bother me. I have a really busy schedule, but because (momentary bragging, so feel free to ignore it if you wish) I'm pretty good at most of the things I do, ie: music, school, etc., a lot of people try to convince me to join other activities. As I mentioned, I have a really, really busy schedule, as in I'm barely managing to do everything that I do. But, I also have a problem just saying to people, "No, I don't want to do your activity. I'm not interested in it." because it sounds mean to me. So when I try to tell them that I just don't have time for it, they just keep telling me that I will. So, I just say that I won't, I won't, and I won't, but they keep on pressuring me to try to join them.

Next person who does that gets a thorough break down of my schedule for the next 7 months.

Another vent: I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how my scanner is supposed to connect to my computer!
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 7:16 am


chikushou
Another vent: I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how my scanner is supposed to connect to my computer!

I might be able to help you with that.

PhantomPhoenix0


samsonite
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 7:57 am


Koiyuki
My mom just got through with giving me a speech about how I forgot to get her burrito from the car, and how she felt that I was treating everyone nicer than I treat her. Well I treat everyone else the same way I treat her, I do what I can for them, and if I can't, then I can't. The thing is, she doesn't see that, and thinks I'm neglecting her. And she says that she shows me love buy buying me food, internet, and all that; but thats the trouble. I don't want material love. I don't want food, I don't want drinks, I don't want things. I want love. Emotional, pure love. The same love I show to everyone else I meet. And that kind of love, she never shows to me, no matter what I do to get it. And she says I should treat others the way they treat me. Well if thats the case, I should be a selfish, manipulaive a*****e that only gives a s**t about what I want. I shouldn't care about how others feel or if what they're doing is more important, oh no, no. I should only watch out for #1, ******** everybody else.

Well, as anyone that really knows me knows, I don't work that way. I give to others. I befriend assholes if they need my help and guidance. I don't expect a damn thing in return for my kindness. I expect to see a smile on their face and joy in their hearts. Thats what I want. For them to be happy, not some ******** toy or McD's, or whatever.

Thats why I ******** hate living in a materialistic society. Everyone seems to think that things show love. In reality, things are things, they don't don't show any emotions. They don't feel anything. They're lifeless, emotionless, and easily disposed of. A hug or a kiss, however, is not easily thrown away. Telling someone you love them or cooking them a hot meal says and means a whole lot more than giving them a cheap, manufactured card that says the same s**t or taking them to some fancy, expensive a** restaurant for their anneversery.

My signature says I'm questing for a genuine smile, but with the way my family is going, thats looking more and more like a quest thats more improbable than the Angelic Halo. The love in this house is all but gone, and everytime I try to ignite the spark of love, its quickly snuffed out. Everybody's ywlling, everybody angry, and everybody seems to be busy earning money they don't need, and things they don't need...

Someone once told me I had a pure heart, but its hard to appreciate when no one will take the time to look at it. Someday, I will find the ability to show a genuine smile, but until then, I'll keep searching. From clubs to bookstores, Southern to Northern California, USA to Japan, I will span the globe, if I need to. All the money in the world cannot buy someone's love, and all the things in the world cannot replace a geuine smile...


Well koi, I give you as much *hugs* as I can from a computer chair sitting behind a computer screen. xd Please just keep your head on the right track of where you are headed. --out of the house-- more often than not you develop a better relationship with your parents after you move out. That usually happens.

Unfortunately yes, we have become too much of a materialistic society. One of the reasons I dislike Christmas, and well most major holidays... except halloween... that's my favorite.

I sense that there is some problems going on with the rest of your family. Possibly between your mom and dad.

I hope you can go and visit your friends for the party! It will do you good to get out of the house for a bit.

Again yes, you must look out for you. How can you care for other people if you can't take care of yourself? Meaning that if you don't care for yourself first.. you will get burnt out very easy trying to make everyone else happy. It's a hard lesson to learn.

and now for a genuine smile? GO HERE.

ok, so it isn't the greatest pic but it's CJ and me.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 11:33 am


PhantomPhoenix0
chikushou
Another vent: I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how my scanner is supposed to connect to my computer!

I might be able to help you with that.
Really?

chikushou
Crew


Koiyuki
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 4:14 pm


samsonite
Koiyuki
My mom just got through with giving me a speech about how I forgot to get her burrito from the car, and how she felt that I was treating everyone nicer than I treat her. Well I treat everyone else the same way I treat her, I do what I can for them, and if I can't, then I can't. The thing is, she doesn't see that, and thinks I'm neglecting her. And she says that she shows me love buy buying me food, internet, and all that; but thats the trouble. I don't want material love. I don't want food, I don't want drinks, I don't want things. I want love. Emotional, pure love. The same love I show to everyone else I meet. And that kind of love, she never shows to me, no matter what I do to get it. And she says I should treat others the way they treat me. Well if thats the case, I should be a selfish, manipulaive a*****e that only gives a s**t about what I want. I shouldn't care about how others feel or if what they're doing is more important, oh no, no. I should only watch out for #1, ******** everybody else.

Well, as anyone that really knows me knows, I don't work that way. I give to others. I befriend assholes if they need my help and guidance. I don't expect a damn thing in return for my kindness. I expect to see a smile on their face and joy in their hearts. Thats what I want. For them to be happy, not some ******** toy or McD's, or whatever.

Thats why I ******** hate living in a materialistic society. Everyone seems to think that things show love. In reality, things are things, they don't don't show any emotions. They don't feel anything. They're lifeless, emotionless, and easily disposed of. A hug or a kiss, however, is not easily thrown away. Telling someone you love them or cooking them a hot meal says and means a whole lot more than giving them a cheap, manufactured card that says the same s**t or taking them to some fancy, expensive a** restaurant for their anneversery.

My signature says I'm questing for a genuine smile, but with the way my family is going, thats looking more and more like a quest thats more improbable than the Angelic Halo. The love in this house is all but gone, and everytime I try to ignite the spark of love, its quickly snuffed out. Everybody's ywlling, everybody angry, and everybody seems to be busy earning money they don't need, and things they don't need...

Someone once told me I had a pure heart, but its hard to appreciate when no one will take the time to look at it. Someday, I will find the ability to show a genuine smile, but until then, I'll keep searching. From clubs to bookstores, Southern to Northern California, USA to Japan, I will span the globe, if I need to. All the money in the world cannot buy someone's love, and all the things in the world cannot replace a geuine smile...


Well koi, I give you as much *hugs* as I can from a computer chair sitting behind a computer screen. xd Please just keep your head on the right track of where you are headed. --out of the house-- more often than not you develop a better relationship with your parents after you move out. That usually happens.

Unfortunately yes, we have become too much of a materialistic society. One of the reasons I dislike Christmas, and well most major holidays... except halloween... that's my favorite.

I sense that there is some problems going on with the rest of your family. Possibly between your mom and dad.

I hope you can go and visit your friends for the party! It will do you good to get out of the house for a bit.

Again yes, you must look out for you. How can you care for other people if you can't take care of yourself? Meaning that if you don't care for yourself first.. you will get burnt out very easy trying to make everyone else happy. It's a hard lesson to learn.

and now for a genuine smile? GO HERE.

ok, so it isn't the greatest pic but it's CJ and me.


Thanks. The kids cute, and you don't look too bad yourself. But thats not the kind of smile I seek. I've never known genuine affection in my life, save for a few brief, shining moments in my family, and I seek to know that from semeone, who that will be, remains to be seen....
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 8:00 pm


goddammit....

I had a rough week. Several events occurred that I didnt mean to do, and now I am losing all my freinds. Ive sworn off dating too, because of these events. Now I am becoming nothing more than a bad memory in the people of the school I go to... I am slowly fading away into the background agian..

Its short, but I dont feel like elaborating...

Shoryuken


Koiyuki
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 8:32 pm


Shoryuken
goddammit....

I had a rough week. Several events occurred that I didnt mean to do, and now I am losing all my freinds. Ive sworn off dating too, because of these events. Now I am becoming nothing more than a bad memory in the people of the school I go to... I am slowly fading away into the background agian..

Its short, but I dont feel like elaborating...


*hugs*

It'll be alright. Just have patience and give it time, things will become better if you keep at it
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