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LovetoCauseMayhem
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 3:28 pm


POISON: THE INVASION


Questions, Comments, and Concerns


This is where the link to my story, Poison, shall be posted. Any questions, comments, concerns, ramblings, exclamations of how amazing it is - please. Put them here. I will address them in timely manors.

WARNING. THE LINK BELOW IS IN NO WAY AFFILIATED WITH THE PEOPLE OR THE SITE OF GAIAONLINE. THE LINK POSTED BELOW IS TO A BOOK THAT CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT. THOSE WHO CANNOT HANDLE SEX, BLOOD, AND GORE (sometimes usually all happening at once) SHOULD NOT READ THIS BOOK. SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE BULGING EYES, SHORTNESS OF BREATH, LOSS OF SANITY, HEIGHTENED SEXUAL FRUSTRATION, AND BLOODY NOSE. THOSE WITH HEART CONDITIONS OR THOSE WHO ARE EXTREMELY PRUDE OR INNOCENT SHOULD NOT READ POISON, AS IT MIGHT BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. PLEASE ALERT YOUR CREW MEMBERS IF YOU FEEL TIGHTNESS IN CHEST, VIOLATION, OR NUMBNESS AS THESE CONDITIONS MAY BE SIGNS OF A COMMON AND SERIOUS PROBLEM CALLED CLOSE-MINDEDNESS. IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY OF THE THREE SYMPTOMS MENTIONED ABOVE, PLEASE STOP READING POISON AND GO ONTO ANOTHER SITE IMMEDIATELY, FOR NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR COMPLAINING.


This message has been brought to you by Mayhem, an anti-family company.

Here is the link:

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2972950/1/Poison_The_Invasion

Also, this book is (c) LovetoCauseMayhem. Please don't steal it. All similarities to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 4:16 pm


Don't worry, there's a lot more than what I actually posted. I just can't waste time posting the entire thing up right now. Let me write a bit, then we'll see.

LovetoCauseMayhem
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Some Badass Name
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 7:35 pm


Hello,

My name is Spaniard, and I have just finished reading this afore mentioned link. (Chapters 1-5, I believe.) These are my thoughts:


At first, I didn't really get where this was going. It wasn't until I kept reading that I realized the first initial chapters took place in three different settings. I feel like the settings could be described a little more (not better, just a little more) for they feel vauge.

Yet, at the same time, not putting so much attention on the setting allowed me to pay all of my attention on the story. The first two chapters were intrguing due to its mysteriousness (sp). They make me crave an explaination for what happened in these parts. The third chapter was a bit more comprehinsive, seeing as how there wasn't really much to think about as far as story. When I finally slipped into the fourth chapter, things started to blend in a little bit as I realized that the first initial chapters would soon tie together. Sure enough, by the fifth chapter, I was hooked.

The descriptions in the fifth chapter are very strong and change the tone of the story indefinately. It is here that I realized who the main character would be, who the antagonist and protagonist were more clearly, as well as being able to detect side stories that peeked my interest. Seeing as how there is still much explaination to be had, I greatly look forward to the on coming chapters to help clear up the loose ends in the initial chapters.

Actually, I've lost interest in my current read for want of focus on this story inparticular. It is modern and mature, of course, but also has deep roots with ancient characters and customs. However, I don't feel that the two different settings intervine with each other- which is an absolutely GOOD thing. Personally, if the two were to mix in together instead of staying apart, I may become too confused with the story. Then again, if this did happen at the right time, in the right place, and with the right words- then the outcome would be spectacular.

I'm not exactly sure where this story is going- that is probably what intrigues me the most. I look forward to reading the next chapters and I feel that, from where this is going so far, that I will not be dissapointed.

-Spaniard.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:10 pm


Aaaaaaawe~<3 Span you warm my heart. You are just amazing. <3

So, I do believe I've finished writing for the day. Therefore, I shall post more. :]

LovetoCauseMayhem
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Some Badass Name
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 10:25 pm


LovetoCauseMayhem
Aaaaaaawe~<3 Span you warm my heart. You are just amazing. <3

So, I do believe I've finished writing for the day. Therefore, I shall post more. :]



You should quote me when its up smile
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:01 pm


Some Badass Name
LovetoCauseMayhem
Aaaaaaawe~<3 Span you warm my heart. You are just amazing. <3

So, I do believe I've finished writing for the day. Therefore, I shall post more. :]



You should quote me when its up smile


A ton of it is indeed up. Working on getting up the rest right now. Go off and enjoy. biggrin

LovetoCauseMayhem
Vice Captain


LovetoCauseMayhem
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:22 am


SO ALL COMPLETED CHAPTERS OF POISON HAVE BEEN POSTED. GO OFF AND FROLIC AND TOUCH YOURSELVES AND ENJOY.

I know I am. emotion_awesome emotion_awesome emotion_awesome


Also, gaia may call that emoticon 'awesome', but it is SO the *****>
PostPosted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 2:45 pm


Just wanted to say that I've read up to chapter ten, and am trying to get some free time to read the rest.

I need free time so I can concentrate on it, otherwise I know I'll just be skimming.

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LovetoCauseMayhem
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 7:40 pm


So the book is totally done. Kinda sorta.

Eventually I'll post the rest up. xDDD When it sinks in that YES, I HAVE TIME NOW.
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 7:37 pm


Only constructive feedback possible:

In chapter fifteen, "Cat and Mouse," there is a sentence that goes like this:

" ... seeing as how his employer was a ,"

Is this a typo, or are we allowed to think up our own words for this employer that otherwise are not there?

Non-constructive:

This is so awesome I puked rainbows and flowers and butterflies and probably blood. You are an amazing writer and if I knew a publisher I would give you their contact information but I don't know any. (I think I heard you talking about publishing it, yes?)

The character's backstories are awesome, the personalities of the characters are distinct and wonderful and I love this so much I'm going to steal it and take it to bed with me. The transitions from the conversations inbetween Aaron/Bianca and Mistletoe/Reine (Ch.16) was really smooth, too.

Also, another note of completely non-constructive feedback: I love how Alina technically is mentioned briefly as being slightly average looking (except for her eyes of course), and yet she's this amazing character. Most of the time, any average looking person is probably either a bad guy or something negative or whatever. I think I love you, Mayhem.


minus infinity
Vice Captain

Fluffy Fatcat


LovetoCauseMayhem
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 8:04 pm


minus infinity
Only constructive feedback possible:

In chapter fifteen, "Cat and Mouse," there is a sentence that goes like this:

" ... seeing as how his employer was a ,"

Is this a typo, or are we allowed to think up our own words for this employer that otherwise are not there?

Non-constructive:

This is so awesome I puked rainbows and flowers and butterflies and probably blood. You are an amazing writer and if I knew a publisher I would give you their contact information but I don't know any. (I think I heard you talking about publishing it, yes?)

The character's backstories are awesome, the personalities of the characters are distinct and wonderful and I love this so much I'm going to steal it and take it to bed with me. The transitions from the conversations inbetween Aaron/Bianca and Mistletoe/Reine (Ch.16) was really smooth, too.

Also, another note of completely non-constructive feedback: I love how Alina technically is mentioned briefly as being slightly average looking (except for her eyes of course), and yet she's this amazing character. Most of the time, any average looking person is probably either a bad guy or something negative or whatever. I think I love you, Mayhem.



Oh you. You. You are so amazing. <3

Yeah, ff.net has this crappy little security feature that if a sentence goes on too long without any spaces they cut a chunk of it out. Alina actually goes on a rant about how his manager is a <******** yeah. I hate that. Seriously. -.-

I would love to publish this. When I get it over 150 pages. D8<

But I'm so glad that you liked it. biggrin For the past few months I've been tweaking, adding a few lines here and there, but I REALLY need to get the rest posted. ><
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 8:06 pm


LovetoCauseMayhem
minus infinity
Only constructive feedback possible:

In chapter fifteen, "Cat and Mouse," there is a sentence that goes like this:

" ... seeing as how his employer was a ,"

Is this a typo, or are we allowed to think up our own words for this employer that otherwise are not there?

Non-constructive:

This is so awesome I puked rainbows and flowers and butterflies and probably blood. You are an amazing writer and if I knew a publisher I would give you their contact information but I don't know any. (I think I heard you talking about publishing it, yes?)

The character's backstories are awesome, the personalities of the characters are distinct and wonderful and I love this so much I'm going to steal it and take it to bed with me. The transitions from the conversations inbetween Aaron/Bianca and Mistletoe/Reine (Ch.16) was really smooth, too.

Also, another note of completely non-constructive feedback: I love how Alina technically is mentioned briefly as being slightly average looking (except for her eyes of course), and yet she's this amazing character. Most of the time, any average looking person is probably either a bad guy or something negative or whatever. I think I love you, Mayhem.



Oh you. You. You are so amazing. <3

Yeah, ff.net has this crappy little security feature that if a sentence goes on too long without any spaces they cut a chunk of it out. Alina actually goes on a rant about how his manager is a <******** yeah. I hate that. Seriously. -.-

But I'm so glad that you liked it. biggrin For the past few months I've been tweaking, adding a few lines here and there, but I REALLY need to get the rest posted. ><


Awww, thank you. <3

Seriously? That really, really sucks. -shakes head- Wtf is this wtfery I don't even.

There is more awesome to be had? -secretly cheers- How many chapters are there?

minus infinity
Vice Captain

Fluffy Fatcat


LovetoCauseMayhem
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 8:09 pm


minus infinity
LovetoCauseMayhem
minus infinity
Only constructive feedback possible:

In chapter fifteen, "Cat and Mouse," there is a sentence that goes like this:

" ... seeing as how his employer was a ,"

Is this a typo, or are we allowed to think up our own words for this employer that otherwise are not there?

Non-constructive:

This is so awesome I puked rainbows and flowers and butterflies and probably blood. You are an amazing writer and if I knew a publisher I would give you their contact information but I don't know any. (I think I heard you talking about publishing it, yes?)

The character's backstories are awesome, the personalities of the characters are distinct and wonderful and I love this so much I'm going to steal it and take it to bed with me. The transitions from the conversations inbetween Aaron/Bianca and Mistletoe/Reine (Ch.16) was really smooth, too.

Also, another note of completely non-constructive feedback: I love how Alina technically is mentioned briefly as being slightly average looking (except for her eyes of course), and yet she's this amazing character. Most of the time, any average looking person is probably either a bad guy or something negative or whatever. I think I love you, Mayhem.



Oh you. You. You are so amazing. <3

Yeah, ff.net has this crappy little security feature that if a sentence goes on too long without any spaces they cut a chunk of it out. Alina actually goes on a rant about how his manager is a <******** yeah. I hate that. Seriously. -.-

But I'm so glad that you liked it. biggrin For the past few months I've been tweaking, adding a few lines here and there, but I REALLY need to get the rest posted. ><


Awww, thank you. <3

Seriously? That really, really sucks. -shakes head- Wtf is this wtfery I don't even.

There is more awesome to be had? -secretly cheers- How many chapters are there?


It does. Really annoying.

If there's any other website that I can put it without having to deal with that, I'd love to just delete the story off that site and put it somewhere else.

And yes. Yes there is. And I have no idea. Um... I wanna say thirty...? Pretty close to it...?
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 10:18 pm


minus infinity


So I uploaded a couple of more chapters. <3 And I still have an entire third of the story to put up. So... yeah, there's a lot more joy to be had. ;D

LovetoCauseMayhem
Vice Captain


minus infinity
Vice Captain

Fluffy Fatcat

PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 8:41 pm


LovetoCauseMayhem
minus infinity


So I uploaded a couple of more chapters. <3 And I still have an entire third of the story to put up. So... yeah, there's a lot more joy to be had. ;D




Squee! I will totally go read it now. And then come back here and shriek and speak gibberish at you.

Edit 1, finished reading ch 21:
MAYHEM. ALL THIS SEX.
I am not complaining, but.
SEX. I LOVE IT. -pukes more rainbows and blood-


Edit 2, finished reading ch 22:
Aaron's bout of psychoticness is actually pretty scary. And then it is scarier. More progressive scariness ...and then sex! And then Alina and my mind went "OMG BUSTED OMG BACKGROUND STORY SHE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT" and Nikopol and Mistletoe and now I feel bad because it was such sexy sex and OMG. -not capable of coherent speech right now-


Edit 3, finished reading ch 23:
I think I should tell you right now that I love the titles of these chapters, too. I think my favorite has been "Chicken with A Side of Rage" so far, but I love them all. I make the schoolgirl who just found porn in the school library blush. In this chapter, I became progressively more curious about this destroying of the world - like, for instance, how old is Mistletoe? (self wonderings) Wondering is a good thing, as far as I know - unless my brain were to implode. Then it might just be a tiny bit bad. And also Mistletoe's interaction with Riccamorro kinda seemed bittersweet to me, but in a kinda sorta good way. I was going "hmmm, now what's this guy up to now? -strokes mustache- This can only lead to ..."


Edit 4, finished reading ch 24:
I like the comment about how Riccamorro might have wanted to be an English teacher before he went psycho. Once again, I love all the insights into the personalities of these characters - because sometimes you see characters that are almost clones in personality and thank goodness it didn't happen here. Like, even just 'seeing' their places of residence is this wonderful insight into their personality, and I love that so much.
Also, it would really truly suck to be attacked that often. It is good for us, of course, just not for Mistletoe. I agree with her statement about how she is probably very tired of being attacked. xD
Conversation is brilliant as always, very scary but very brilliant, mating ritual blerp is absolutely fantastic and lulzy. :'D You are a fantastic writer and I offer you numerous squees and gibberish in return.

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