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 Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 9:33 pm
I've been going out with this girl for a while. Here some background I'm sixteen and a sophmore, she's fourteen and a freshman. I met her through a friend of mine, who happens to be her brother, a junior. He cool with us dating. Now to the point.
I want a more physical relationship, but don't know how to bring it up. I'm not talking about sex, but other things. I consider myself a gentleman, so I won't just come out and say "Hey, would you give me a b*****b?" I'm really trying to respect her, so could someone give me advice.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 2:05 pm
Dude, I had the same exact problem. This girl may not be the same as mine, But my curiosity got the better of me and i started asking her a few sexual questions, and it didn't bother her at all. So we kept talking about it and i found out she has cybered before eek Which of course was a big surprise. This was sunday night, so not much has happened since then.
But the only real advise i can give is to just ask her.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 5:03 pm
1) Above all else, check the statutory rape laws and age of consent laws for your area. Otherwise you could get in trouble if you're the age of consent, but she's not.
2) Talk to her about it, as Prince Nathan suggested. See what she is comfortable with, and whether or not she's ready to take your relationship with her to the next level. You aren't going to know until you ask.
If she's not ready to have sex, or oral sex, or be sexually active at all, you two can suggest a compromise, or find some alternatives to being sexually active. The "Alternatives to Sex" sticky has been updated with some new information and ideas. smile
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 6:16 pm
I was under the impression that oral is a form of sex.
I agree with Prince Nathan and Nikolita. If she's fine with doing some things with you, don't forget to use the necessary precautions. ^^;
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 8:52 pm
Careful. With the age difference, it's possible that she can be easily manipulated into doing something she doesn't want to do or isn't ready to do. You may not even realize what's happening and think she's perfectly ok with it. As the older person, it's your responsibility to protect her and make sure she doesn't do anything she isn't comfortable with or ready for.
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:29 am
I don't think you would want to ask her to do anything sexual until you talk to a police officer due to the fact that there are laws especially here in florida where if you are sixteen and ingaging in any sexual activitys with a girl or guy under the age like 13 or 14 umm you could get arrested at least thats what happened to my twin brother. When I was sixteen as well I had a crush on a guy who was 14 we were going to date until I found out in health class that whole age limit and that I would get into trouble with the law for touching a 14 yr old sexually I was 16 at that time. Oh and he looked overly mature for his age when he told me he was 14 I totally freaked and kicked myself cause I didn't want to get into trouble for it but I guess I was smarter than my twin he went for dating the 14 old and look where it got him he is in jail. sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 8:57 pm
Don't worry about the age of consent, I'm not even two years older. Its just between our birthadays, so it seems like two years. We're within the limit.
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 9:06 pm
I agree with Kukushka. Make sure you give her bountiful reassurance that it's okay if she doesn't wish to do the things you suggest.
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Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 11:01 am
Kukushka Careful. With the age difference, it's possible that she can be easily manipulated into doing something she doesn't want to do or isn't ready to do. You may not even realize what's happening and think she's perfectly ok with it. As the older person, it's your responsibility to protect her and make sure she doesn't do anything she isn't comfortable with or ready for. I totally agree biggrin
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:52 pm
Hey, it doesn't bother me! actually i like it. redface
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:46 pm
some state laws are different, check on that, but i prefer to let her to ask you, its just my opinion
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 3:32 pm
Yall really need to lighten up. If you don't know the person and your just banging them than yes, don't pick someone underage. But if your really serious about this relationship and your going about it in mature and respectful way, why the hell should it matter if she's underage or not. I'm a bit more than 2 years older than my fiance, and we never had any problems. It makes me mad when people can't accept people for who they are sometimes, and I know alot of you are just trying to protect him, but the idea of not going out with someone and being intiment with them because of age is rediculous. Now with that said, you don't have to be sexual in order to have a relationship, sex can deffinately wait specially cause she might not be ready. But if your still together, your probably not gonna wait until she's 18 either.
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:47 pm
RemulusVash Don't worry about the age of consent, I'm not even two years older. Its just between our birthadays, so it seems like two years. We're within the limit. It shouldn't matter if you were older than her.
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Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:16 pm
Im am afraid I do not agree with many people's reaction to their age difference. Age, after all, it is just a number. It has nothing to do with someone's physical or emotional attraction to another person. I have run into this dilema in the past, and in the end I realized that just because someone has lived three or four years more then I, their persona is no different. I think that if someone narrows their opinion of someone by their age, they will miss out on many fabulous people. Think about it.
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