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 Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 5:51 am
She didn't think like this initially. Of course she was angry about it, but had to move on. She needed to accept what was done. She was more matured now. Anyone that knew her before could tell she was different. She went from being a cold-hearted ice queen to a loving mare that cared about others. This was a big step for her.
As she stepped out into the open field she smiled happily as she stepped over to her favorite lonely tree that rested up on a hill. It was her favorite spot in the land. A spot that made her feel very calm.
Inside though she was troubled. She was thinking about her new mate and love, Kore. She loved him so much, but she feared he would run out on her. It happened so many times already that she didn't know if she could trust him fully. This was a big fear of hers and every day it would come creeping into her mind over and over again. When he wasn't with her it was the worst. She feared he ran away from her or found someone better. She couldn't stand thinking like this because it turned her into something she hated. Something that bothered her greatly. She didn't know how to fix it or if there was a way to fix it.
Sighing lightly, she lowered herself to the ground while simultaneously battling the evil thoughts that began to creep into her mind. There had to be something she could do to get rid of them. Someone she could get advice from that could help ease her worry away. She needed it. She needed a friend more then ever right now.
"Why do I worry..."
She peeked around tiredly as her mind finally began to clear itself.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:26 am
It had been quite a few years since the Elder had last graced the Lowlands with her presence. Or rather, it had been a great many years since she had found the time to visit her friends. Elder she might have been, but she was humble in this respect and was under no illusions that she was mightier than any other. While some might have afforded her respect that came with her position, there were those from other cultures who would not be the same. This was perhaps one of the reasons why she and a number of other elders elected to operate in specified territories as opposed to exploring the world. Contrary to the beliefs of those that aspired to be an elder, not everyone in the Kawani desired to be taught and shoving your beliefs down their throat was guaranteed to make them hostile, rather than appreciative.
Alas, she had never set out with the intention of providing her services to anyone this afternoon. Her goals were clear cut, she fully intended to visit various family members that had decided to live further afield. There was her adoptive sister and her new brood, as well as her great-niece who was expecting as well. It was quite the to-do list considering just how far apart both families lived from one another - while her 'sister' lived within the forests to the north, her niece elected to live by the coasts.
Nevertheless, Yei Umeko had never been a mare who shied away from exercise. It had been with a flurry of kisses that she had told her mate to keep an eye on their children, keep most of them out of unnecessary trouble and that she would return in a few days. Long accustomed to her often vague and eccentric explanations he had understood her far better than most would have and had waved her off in a dutiful manner. All in all, the farewells had gone quite smoothly!
The journey down the slopes had taken approximately two days but now her hooves touched upon softer soil and she lifted her head. With a flare of her nostrils she sucked in the musky and heedy scent that accompanied the lowlands and flashed a smile. Aha, she remembered this smell from her younger years - they hadn't necessarily been filled with delight, but they had helped shape her into what she was today. The smile still lining her lips she refrained from pausing for longer than was necessary and began to wade through the shoulder length grasses of the plains.
Alas, it would have been foolish of her to assume that the spirits would not send a lost soul her way even when they were not in her immediate territory. While the vast majority of lowlands soquili held no interest in true guidance, there were some who indirectly asked for it. No sooner had she rounded one of the corners that had been created by a small hill to her left, than she was made aware of the dejected figure ahead of her.
Oh dear.
She was no mind reader and would never claim to be one but there was nothing to prevent her from offering an ear. As they said, it was sometimes easier to discuss your problems with a relative stranger than to confide in those you trusted implicitly... something about never seeing said stranger again had it's benefits. Pursing her lips gently, the mare proceeded forward and ascended the hillock with an ease that only a mountain soquili could possess - just in time to catch the trailing end of her murmuring. Her smile became rather wry at that, it was a painfully open ended question.
"Everybody worries, that is a perfectly natural reaction to most things we encounter in life," Yei responded in a mild tone. "It's just what we should worry about that's typically open for debate," she added, her smile deepening a touch.
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 12:21 pm
The blue haired mare turned her head not expecting anyone to be around let alone hear her. She felt a little embarrassed by it, but never would show that kind of emotion. She held it in and stared a little at the mare seeing how beautiful she was at first. But then she noticed something else about her. She seemed different from any other mare she had met. She got this aura of nobility from her and that wasn't a bad thing at all, but it just wasn't something she had expected someone to have.
"You are right. I suppose I shouldn't worry too much over this particular thing. It's just being scared and worrying at the same time doesn't make a good combination you know? I am just grateful I haven't become an utter basket case or a completely depressed fool in the process."
She gave a nod to the other and in some cases she was depressed. She didn't like that she couldn't trust her mate. She didn't like that she couldn't stop thinking of him leaving her. It upset her greatly. She just didn't know what she could do about it. After being left three times and all three were in a row she didn't think she would be able to handle a forth.
She sighed lightly and nosed the ground slowly.
"I'm afraid my mate is going to leave me."
This was something unexpected from her. She never talked to strangers like this let alone about her personal business. It just wasn't something that usually happened.
"I loved two stallions before and they left me and then I had another, but he was my ex mate. He turned out leaving me also..I..still feel like it was all my fault. I still haven't gotten fully over it and I believe that is why I'm scared. I'm afraid he is going to run out on me too and I'm ashamed to say this...but I don't want him to. I love him more then the rest and want him to stay. He nearly died saving me and I want to return the favor one day."
She rambled a little bit feeling raw mixed emotions hit her like a tidal wave. She sniffled very lightly and looked away from the mare embarrassed once more.
"Sorry...I'm not use to being this weak."
She said softly as she turned back smiling slightly. A smile, it's what others wanted to see right?
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Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 6:04 am
Dignified, noble, they were all words that would typically be associated with an Elder but whether or not that Elder elected to operate underneath these defined descriptions remained to be seen. In the case of Yei Umeko, the eccentric mare had never been one to conform to the usual standards and as the blue haired mare opened up to her, she deposited herself comfortably on the ground. Sitting in much the same fashion as a dog, the elder quickly lost any predefining aura of importance and became what she preferred, a rather quirky old madam!
"Worrying and fright generally bounce off each other," she replied with a small, yet understanding smile. "It's perfectly natural for things to quickly spiral out of control," she added. "That being said, the fact you can recognise this speaks volumes, you are less likely to fall into depression if you can spot the issue yourself," she pointed out quietly. She soon held her piece though and as the mare continued to explain her predicament, the elder mare's pale eyes seemed to flicker in a bizarre manner.
Nostalgia.
Overwhelmed by it, the red mare could do nothing more than listen as Hydro led her by the hoof through a mirror image of her own young life. Well, there were notable differences of course, but there were underlying and very recognisable moments. Hydro was not the first mare to have been left by the one she loved and she certainly wouldn't be the last - it seemed that the spirits were fickle and picky, often testing the waters multiple times before settling on suitable pairings - even at the cost of the emotional health of the mortal.
"You know," Yei chuckled softly and tilted her head to the side, her forelock obscuring one of her eyes. "I had the exact same experience when I was younger as well," she smiled, her visible eye creasing in a manner that indicated she was being genuine. "I met many stallions, on occasions I even thought they could be 'The One', but in the end they always left for something 'better'..." she pulled a face, a flicker of resentment rising up. She hadn't experienced that in years but as they said, wounded pride didn't always heal fully - she might be happy now but that still didn't mean she appreciated the sentiments!
"But let me tell you this!" she lifted her hoof and pointed it towards Hydro, her tone surprisingly forceful but kind, "No stallion will save your life and cast his own well being aside if he doesn't love you," she said. She shook her head and adjusted her weight on her hindhooves to get more comfortable, her tail splaying out across the grass a little more. "They might stand in the line of fire for a little while if they are fond of you, but they will move if it would cost their lives. It is a very special stallion that will place you above himself," she explained.
Her smiled deepened.
"There is nothing wrong with appearing weak now and again but in this case I suspect you have nothing to fear, though I do wonder..." she trailed off and pursed her lips. "You haven't discussed this with him, have you?"
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 5:11 am
The cream colored mare watched the other closely still feeling that sense of leadership from her. It intrigued her, but at the same time made her a little wary. If she was in fact someone of leadership she could have the power to do anything, but Hydro doubted that. The mare looked too sweet to do something so ruthless, but then again she was wrong before on that notion. That kalona that attacked her would forever scar her mind and she didn't think the mare was dangerous. So being wary of others was turning into a way of life for her now.
Keeping her distance again, she listened to her speak finding truth in what she said. She was right and more or less she did have a point.
"Your right..worrying can make you sick and I have been sick on numerous occasions. I have been trying to put a stop to it, but finding the right person to discuss my problems with has been rather....difficult."
Her ears perked up as she listened to the others story that was similar to hers. She couldn't believe someone could leave this mare in front of her like that, but anymore she was witnessing a lot of things she didn't like so it was possible. Her best friend was flinging herself around and she really didn't like that all too much. But hearing that this mare went through the same thing she went through made her feel more relieved at the fact that someone else knew her pain. She did feel sorry for her, but not many she has spoken to had this kind of experience. Not many at all.
She didn't speak just yet. She let the mare continue to talk and she listened attentively and very closely to her words of wisdom.
"I'm sorry to hear that you have suffered through the same situation as me.. I wouldn't wish that on anyone to go through. It's not easy and can be hard depending on how much you cared for the other. In some ways I feel that it was better that it happened because it did make me stronger and I always picked myself up again from it. You just have to in those kind of circumstances."
She nodded to the mare and smiled a little thinking that Kore probably didn't love her, but she still had her doubts.
"True...not many I know would go face a kalona to save my life. Even though he has the means to fight I was a bit shocked that he would risk getting hurt for me. Maybe...just...maybe...he does love me."
She said quietly to the mare.
"Tell him? No...I want to because he needs to know my fears, but at the same time what if that scares him away? It shouldn't if he truly does love me, but you never know anymore. It's something he needs to know if he plans to be with me. Eventually the worry will go away with time."
She lowered her head a little bit before raising it again to look at the female once more before her.
"Do you think I should let him know? I would like to hear your advice on the matter."
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:48 pm
Yei's expression seemed to answer the younger mare's question without a need for her to open her mouth. That being said, there were soquili in the world who didn't pick up on such things and stating the obvious was sometimes a necessity. Yei wasn't one to question another's intelligence and it was nothing against Hydro, it was simply better to be safe than sorry and it avoided a lot of headaches and miscommunication at a later date. Consequently, it was with a shift of her weight and a tilt her head that the elder mare regarded her.
"You need to tell him," she replied in such a simple manner that there was no room for debate. "A part of a lasting relationship is honesty, if you can't be honest and you can demonstrate that level of trust then..." she trailed off briefly and released a delicate sigh. Opening up to another, was perhaps the most terrifying experience in an individual's life, but if it succeeded then it was an amazing thing indeed.
"Well, if you cannot trust him and be prepared to discuss your fears with the one you wish to spend the rest of your life with then you will never be able to show who you really are," she explained. "You will always wonder if he loves you for the image you portray, or if he would run away the moment he learnt a hidden truth... no matter how small," she hazarded a smile and rolled her shoulders, her scarlet mane tumbling rebelliously across her nose.
"I will not promise that he will not respond poorly at first - sometimes shock has a way of affecting another," she continued warningly and shook her head. She paused to snort the forelock from her eyes and then she spoke again. "But if you give him time, if he loves you, he will come back with open arms and declare his intentions. If not, then you will know your answer," she popped her lips and allowed these words to sink in. It was then, and only then, that an impish twinkle crept into her eyes.
"But I sense it in my bones, I suspect he'll step up to that challenge and you will be happy. Perhaps it's something to do with his preparedness - it's always a good sign in my books," she chuckled.
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:23 am
This mare was right. She understood what she was going through and how to handle it so she felt a kind of comfort from her words. Though she didn't know if she could talk to him at all. She didn't know if she really could talk to him about something like this without him going a little crazy on her. Not in a bad way of course, but he did have two personalities. She just didn't know if she was worth the effort that he was putting into the relationship. The effort of being with her because she didn't feel that special. She didn't think she ever would really feel that special to someone unless it was shown to her in a true just way.
"I will talk to him. I will have to discuss it thoroughly too because I want everything out on the table."
She gave a nod to the elder female before looking away from her into the distance. She didn't know if Kore would step up to the challenge and be with her forever and ever. He seemed the type some days, but then other days he didn't. He did want kids, but she wasn't sure about it just yet. It would be wonderful to have them with someone she could trust would be there for them and not have some mental break down or lose it to their other personality in their head.
"We will see. It's all I can really do at this point in time before talking with him. Sometimes I love him then other times....I'm not so sure. You see...he has two personalities in his head. One is mean and violent while the other is kind and gentle. I'm not sure I want to raise children with someone so off balanced as that...I guess...I guess...that is why I don't trust him fully and I'm not sure I ever will."
She nodded and looked down a bit thinking really hard on the matter at hand.
"If...say if things don't work out...can I come to you again for help and support? I know I will need it during that time if it does happen."
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