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 Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 5:57 pm
please bear with me, I am having difficulty putting my words together properly.
I am afraid.
I am afraid of and for the world and I am afraid of my inability to rid myself of being so afraid. I am afraid that everything outside is falling apart. I know that it's all supposed to be temporary all that, but It hurts me so badly.
We're poisoning the air with more carbon dioxide than our planet has ever had to deal with before with no signs of slowing down, our entire society is built upon a resource which is both dangerously finite and obviously detrimental to our environment. People's lives are thrown amok around the world due to the actions of governments like my own, who seem perfectly content with subjugating entire nations of people so that our powerhouse corporations can exploit what we call "third world countries" and then justify it by boasting it's prosperous economy which seems to be entirely based upon outrageous degrees of (please excuse my language) bullshit products that serve to perpetuate ideals of greed and excess. The corporate juggernaut has perfected the art of manipulating the masses into being individualistic, self serving, and ego obsessed with it's overwhelming flood of advertising and everybody is so comfortable with it that they refuse to hear anything that suggests that this horrible, ignorant, fearful weeping society isn't a utopia.
People are suffering from depression, anxiety, ADHD, bi-polar, and so on are all raised to believe that there is something wrong with them, that they can be fixed with pills. for christ's sake, people are killing themselves because they feel so alone and hopeless.
...and everyone acts like it's all perfectly ok. like this sort of thing is acceptable. like it's ok that we send thousands of young men to fight, kill, and die for a hollow cause. Or that it's ok that children are being exploited so that we can enjoy gaudy material waste. We're all trapped in this system. I feel like i'm trapped. I don't know how to live apart from this system on my own, but I can't stand it any longer.
Why do people need to invest so much significance on things like diamonds. diamonds are just stones. why are people enslaved and murdered over stones.
oh god, why is this happening....
i'm sorry. i feel so hopeless. I finally reach a point in my life where i feel good about myself, only to feel terrible about everything else. I try my hardest to see the good in life, and usually I do. I don't want to be shut off from compassion, but I don't know how to not be hurt by it. I guess i am kind of a bleeding heart.
i don't know what to do. I want to give up on everything but I don't want to be cut off from the world again. I want to have compassion for everything but I am not strong enough to bear the world's pain. I want to be able to help people, but I feel like I can barely help myself. I'm so afraid of everyone that I never go out to meet people. Everyone seems so...mean... I don't know what to do.
i feel like i am falling apart.
i understand how Buddhist practice can help me, but i don't know how i can use what it has to teach me if the world is just going to fall apart anyway. I want to believe that there is hope, that humanity is progressing, that we are improving and learning and slowly awakening.
but i just don't know...i'm trying to not fall back into nihilism, but everything just seems so hopeless. i'm running out of reasons to get up in the morning.
i'm feeling horrible. i feel guilty, scared, angry, sad, and sometimes hateful for all of this. i don't know how to deal with all of this...
i'm sorry. i hope i haven't bored you with my complaints. thank you for reading.
maybe i just needed to get my grievances out there.
i don't know.
thank you.
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:29 am
I understand where you're coming from. Entirely. Politics is one of the things that I can get so worked up about. To put it into perspective, I became an Anarchist a few years ago. I hate what "President" Barack Obama is doing to my poor country and I hate that so many people are blind to the most important aspects of the wrongness with the country. Politics and the like take time and numbers to fix, however, if you want to start changing the world's state (i.e. the pollution), you just have to do what you can to make sure YOU are taking care of the environment and try to compel people to follow. Once I move out of my parents' house again, I am going to be recycling and doing a LOT of changes to my habits. As far as finding it hard to be compassionate for the world in its current state, I understand it's hard, but it's just about looking at the world itself, not the physical state of it. If the people populating this big, beautiful rock could see the Earth for what it truly is, it would be fixed up QUICK. And yes, the 'world' is in a really messed up state with all the wars and disputes, but most of it is over organized religion anyway. More specifically, it's Christians fighting the whole world. (Not to insult your everyday Christian like the fine Christians that come check out the guild. It's been happening since the Crusades and the Christians I'm referring to as starting wars over religion are the very close-minded ones.) Once more and more people can see the world and its people for what they really are, we will settle into peace once again. Everything is a cycle and it is all impermanent. Even though all things (including peace) are impermanent, it doesn't mean we can't drag peace out over thousands of years. Fear not. Peace will one day rule supreme and the world will be as it should be, we just currently live in a low-understanding global society but everything will change one day. Chin up!
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 9:22 am
The world can seem like such a hopeless place when you look at all those terrible things happening, but there is a saying in Tibet which goes
You can cover the world in leather, but it's easier to just cover your feet
We want to help the world around us, make all the terrible things stop, but we are just one person in a huge world. However, if we each do our own little part by helping others, giving, moral dicipline we can still make the world a better place. It might not make a great difference, but we can make a hundred little ones.
As long as there are good people left in this world, it will always be worth fighting for. Despite everything bad that happens, earth is still a beautiful place.
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:55 pm
ZGAngel The world can seem like such a hopeless place when you look at all those terrible things happening, but there is a saying in Tibet which goes You can cover the world in leather, but it's easier to just cover your feetWe want to help the world around us, make all the terrible things stop, but we are just one person in a huge world. However, if we each do our own little part by helping others, giving, moral dicipline we can still make the world a better place. It might not make a great difference, but we can make a hundred little ones. As long as there are good people left in this world, it will always be worth fighting for. Despite everything bad that happens, earth is still a beautiful place. If this was FaceBook, I would've hit the "like" button. ^_^
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Posted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:27 pm
SkaPigeon420 If this was FaceBook, I would've hit the "like" button. ^_^ Seconded. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2009 4:55 pm
Byaggha SkaPigeon420 If this was FaceBook, I would've hit the "like" button. ^_^ Seconded. 3nodding thirded smile thank you, all
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