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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 12:53 am
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 9:32 am
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Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:14 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:33 am
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January 30, 2010
The new year has certainly been interesting so far. Lots of stuff has happened, and it doesn't look like it's going to stop there.
Work is gayer than ever, not counting that they tried to screw me over. We got an additional boss, who's okay, but he's a chief, so he still has a layer of diggit in him. And another boss turned over with a cooler one, so that should work out fairly well.
Home's been good, that's for sure. As far as other personal stuff, I don't want to talk about it.
So, for the last month, I've been working out. Now, starting on a weekly basis, I'm gonna show you my progress! today shows me regular and flexing.
That's pretty much all that's happened. Until next week! ^^
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:35 am
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:13 am
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Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 9:01 am
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:48 am
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January 31, 2010
A lot has happened this weekend. I still don't know what fully to make of it. I don't know if I should even talk about it. It hurts to speak of it, but people keep asking. Hopefully, after this, it won't be brought up until either I bring it up, or until the pain has lessened enough to talk about it again.
It started weeks ago, but everything came to ahead a couple days ago, on Friday. I like a girl. She feels indifferent to me. Now, for a few weeks prior, some of my friends have told me, that I'm stupid for feeling that way, and I should just stop. Keep in mind, they say this based on knowing how I am, and how she is. On Friday, I'm told just one more time, and along with the girl being there to say the same thing.
And a little part of me dies. That small part that, above and against everything there is, holds the tiniest of hope, that I dare not ever lose. It died, dragged out, beat down, and thrown away as if it never mattered. As if my own feelings never mattered.
They all tell me, I'll be better off. That I'll find someone better. As if she wasn't amazing enough.
I know how she is. I won't hold back when it comes to her, not anymore. At times, she can be a real b***h to be around. At any other time, she can be not only the most awesome of people, but the best friend you could ever have. She can be rude, unforgiving, cruel, mean-spirited, and a jerk. She can be obnoxious, and a pain in my a**. She can be selfish, petty, and will almost always look out for herself.
But I also know all of her good sides too. She's really caring. she's funny. She's pretty. She knows what she wants, and strives to achieve it. She's really smart, strong, can kick my a** even. She has compassion, will do anything for her friends, and will be there if she needs to be. She has a great personality, and, personally, can always make me happy. And, even if I get upset, even if I get really mad at her, I can never stay that way for long, and can easily forgive her. I can't do that for just anybody, you know.
So, knowing all of that, knowing all her good and bad qualities, I can still safely say that, for me, she's worth it all.
But, in this case, none of that matters. When it came down to how I felt, it was like telling a blind kid what color the sky is. It just didn't matter. My feelings were found to be unwanted, and unimportant. I know my friends were only trying to help me, but they are MY feelings, not theirs. And they've been deeply hurt now.
I'm not mad at anybody. They really are only looking out for me. And they do care about me, and for that, I'm thankful.
But I can't deny that I'm hurting.
It's been 2 days since it happened. I'm doing a little better, but the pain is still there, and it continues to sting. I still need time, but I have it. Hopefully, by the end of the week, I can be back to what anyone could call normal.
One day, I'll get my happiness. and It'll be what I want too, not what my friends want, or what they think I want. And next time, my feelings won't be thrown away.
But for now, I rest, and hope my heart will be okay after this is said and done.
Because I never want to suffer this kind of pain ever again if I can help it.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 10:02 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 5:56 am
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Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:22 pm
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Been a LOT of things happening.
Had my vacation in March. Let me tell you, that was fun on the second part of it. The first part was a big letdown, and let me know about who I really know, and who I don't.
After vacation, went back to work for about 6 days before I got called back home. My other grandma died. Spent that week getting everything ready, had the funeral on april 1st, of all days. (some people thought it was a joke, which irked me since I had to keep telling those guys it wasn't) After that, jumped back into the ever- increasingly busier chaos that is work.
Immediately went into getting things ready for some work, specifically, fixing the 140+ junction boxes and getting them upgraded for simpler work. And, from the long workdays, getting everything ready, they cancel the work, pushing it back to after all the testing is complete.
And then the book disaster. We installed a revision to our books, but the shipyard did not want. So, instead of telling us we could just install the revision in their books, we instead had to uninstall the 100+ SETS of books, to do something we are never supposed to do with the books, and then they blame us because it isn't perfect. Which, from this, we lost more time at home.
Oh, and to make it even better, I have yet another deployment, scheduled for this year. I'll be gone from June 2nd to August 8th. So, besides missing birthdays and friends and everything, I'll be missing my 5th summer, which I've missed every single summer since I joined the navy.
I start a school in May, getting formal training on the radio system that I own. We'll see how it goes over time.
But for now, I enjoy my weekend. Boy, have I missed enjoying my weekends.
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:55 pm
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July 4th, 2010
I'm in Hawaii. Down in Waikiki, to be exact. I've been here for about a week, although this weekend has been my only real time off.
Been out to sea since the beginning of June. I'm just sick of it all, to be honest. I want out. I want my freedom.
Today, our independence day. I've watched a hotel get evacuated due to a fire, ate at denny's, slept, had starbucks, and been on the internet. Along with talking to friends and family of course.
It's just... I'm done with here. All there is to do mainly is to hit the beach, drink, and shop. I'm seriously done with all that.
And I'll be here next month too. But it will be a little different. For one, I'll be at a hotel I've been to the last 2 times I was here, which is good. Also, I'll hit my "one year left" mark, and start my countdown of last days in the navy. I'm really looking forward to that.
But first, I gotta figure out what to do today. There is literally nothing for me as of right now. No friends to hang out with, no desire to spend money, nothing. In a big town full of people, I feel very lonely.
Oh California, how I miss you... And my friends too
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:26 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 7:45 pm
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