Welcome to Gaia! ::

Insomniacs of Gaia

Back to Guilds

The Guild for the Sleep Deprived 

Tags: Insomniac, General, Booty, Games, Anime 

Reply Journals
Tony (the Mexican) - My story Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 ... 4 5 6

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

zeromus1st
Captain

PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 12:53 am
lol, when it comes to me, feel free to leave as long a comment as you want to! ^^  
PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 9:32 am
i read it.... when i remember we have journals XD i talk to you all the time unless you are to busy. No love for the crazy kitty..... >>; and you ish loved by all the friends you have. THoe who are worth your time will be there when you need them. Never forget that. If you feel upset try pming or calling or texting..ect one of the ones you really trust, im sure they would be tehre to talk that out and cheer you up. I know i would, you are always there for me when im upset. whcih reminds me i should prolly update my journal lol. *hugs* i just woke up so im alittle crazy. Oh
SHare the love, not the hate. Give a hug it is great.
XD such a dork i know  

Shadowcat_Yami
Crew


zeromus1st
Captain

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:14 pm
Quote:
romantic love invariably involves sacrifice of the self (or at least the willingness for such sacrifice).

Romantic love is "I'll scratch your back or fix you dinner, whatever will make you happy, because your happiness is the most important thing in the world to me."



This, I feel to be true.  
PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:33 am
January 30, 2010

The new year has certainly been interesting so far. Lots of stuff has happened, and it doesn't look like it's going to stop there.

Work is gayer than ever, not counting that they tried to screw me over. We got an additional boss, who's okay, but he's a chief, so he still has a layer of diggit in him. And another boss turned over with a cooler one, so that should work out fairly well.

Home's been good, that's for sure. As far as other personal stuff, I don't want to talk about it.

So, for the last month, I've been working out. Now, starting on a weekly basis, I'm gonna show you my progress! today shows me regular and flexing.

User ImageUser Image

That's pretty much all that's happened. Until next week! ^^  

zeromus1st
Captain


Lady Kira X
Vice Captain

Caring Cleric

10,300 Points
  • Battle: Cleric 100
  • Tested Practitioner 250
  • Seasoned Warrior 250
PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:35 am
you need a new photo.. it shat on you
 
PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:13 am
... Nappa...
 

Lady Kira X
Vice Captain

Caring Cleric

10,300 Points
  • Battle: Cleric 100
  • Tested Practitioner 250
  • Seasoned Warrior 250

Shadowcat_Yami
Crew

PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 9:01 am
lol you are progressing nicely.... my gettign fit is waiting til all this cold weather and freakign snow we have here is gone =.= *huggles* ^w^  
PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:48 am
January 31, 2010

A lot has happened this weekend. I still don't know what fully to make of it. I don't know if I should even talk about it. It hurts to speak of it, but people keep asking. Hopefully, after this, it won't be brought up until either I bring it up, or until the pain has lessened enough to talk about it again.

It started weeks ago, but everything came to ahead a couple days ago, on Friday. I like a girl. She feels indifferent to me. Now, for a few weeks prior, some of my friends have told me, that I'm stupid for feeling that way, and I should just stop. Keep in mind, they say this based on knowing how I am, and how she is. On Friday, I'm told just one more time, and along with the girl being there to say the same thing.

And a little part of me dies. That small part that, above and against everything there is, holds the tiniest of hope, that I dare not ever lose. It died, dragged out, beat down, and thrown away as if it never mattered. As if my own feelings never mattered.

They all tell me, I'll be better off. That I'll find someone better. As if she wasn't amazing enough.

I know how she is. I won't hold back when it comes to her, not anymore. At times, she can be a real b***h to be around. At any other time, she can be not only the most awesome of people, but the best friend you could ever have. She can be rude, unforgiving, cruel, mean-spirited, and a jerk. She can be obnoxious, and a pain in my a**. She can be selfish, petty, and will almost always look out for herself.

But I also know all of her good sides too. She's really caring. she's funny. She's pretty. She knows what she wants, and strives to achieve it. She's really smart, strong, can kick my a** even. She has compassion, will do anything for her friends, and will be there if she needs to be. She has a great personality, and, personally, can always make me happy. And, even if I get upset, even if I get really mad at her, I can never stay that way for long, and can easily forgive her. I can't do that for just anybody, you know.

So, knowing all of that, knowing all her good and bad qualities, I can still safely say that, for me, she's worth it all.

But, in this case, none of that matters. When it came down to how I felt, it was like telling a blind kid what color the sky is. It just didn't matter. My feelings were found to be unwanted, and unimportant. I know my friends were only trying to help me, but they are MY feelings, not theirs. And they've been deeply hurt now.

I'm not mad at anybody. They really are only looking out for me. And they do care about me, and for that, I'm thankful.

But I can't deny that I'm hurting.

It's been 2 days since it happened. I'm doing a little better, but the pain is still there, and it continues to sting. I still need time, but I have it. Hopefully, by the end of the week, I can be back to what anyone could call normal.

One day, I'll get my happiness. and It'll be what I want too, not what my friends want, or what they think I want. And next time, my feelings won't be thrown away.

But for now, I rest, and hope my heart will be okay after this is said and done.

Because I never want to suffer this kind of pain ever again if I can help it.  

zeromus1st
Captain


Shadowcat_Yami
Crew

PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 10:02 am
OH tony *hugs tightly* Im sorry for what you are going through cry I can relate quiet abit to this, and like i said before im here if you ever feel like talking *huggles again* i think im gonna record a video of my dog being crazy and send it to you.... or... ill make a snow man and dedicate it to you!! ^^ ... you are loved and liked for who you are and you are a wonderful, sweet caring person. You are seriously like the nicest person i know... You matter, your feelings matter no matter what your pain tells you, no matter what anyone says. anyway im here for ya and ill post a pic of a snow man later ^^
~Allie  
PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 5:56 am
Haven't gone to bed yet. I should, but idk, it's like I just can't.

It'll pass, i'm sure of that. But right now, it hurts.  

zeromus1st
Captain


zeromus1st
Captain

PostPosted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:22 pm
Been a LOT of things happening.

Had my vacation in March. Let me tell you, that was fun on the second part of it. The first part was a big letdown, and let me know about who I really know, and who I don't.

After vacation, went back to work for about 6 days before I got called back home. My other grandma died. Spent that week getting everything ready, had the funeral on april 1st, of all days. (some people thought it was a joke, which irked me since I had to keep telling those guys it wasn't) After that, jumped back into the ever- increasingly busier chaos that is work.

Immediately went into getting things ready for some work, specifically, fixing the 140+ junction boxes and getting them upgraded for simpler work. And, from the long workdays, getting everything ready, they cancel the work, pushing it back to after all the testing is complete.

And then the book disaster. We installed a revision to our books, but the shipyard did not want. So, instead of telling us we could just install the revision in their books, we instead had to uninstall the 100+ SETS of books, to do something we are never supposed to do with the books, and then they blame us because it isn't perfect. Which, from this, we lost more time at home.

Oh, and to make it even better, I have yet another deployment, scheduled for this year. I'll be gone from June 2nd to August 8th. So, besides missing birthdays and friends and everything, I'll be missing my 5th summer, which I've missed every single summer since I joined the navy.

I start a school in May, getting formal training on the radio system that I own. We'll see how it goes over time.

But for now, I enjoy my weekend. Boy, have I missed enjoying my weekends.  
PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 6:55 pm
July 4th, 2010

I'm in Hawaii. Down in Waikiki, to be exact. I've been here for about a week, although this weekend has been my only real time off.

Been out to sea since the beginning of June. I'm just sick of it all, to be honest. I want out. I want my freedom.

Today, our independence day. I've watched a hotel get evacuated due to a fire, ate at denny's, slept, had starbucks, and been on the internet. Along with talking to friends and family of course.

It's just... I'm done with here. All there is to do mainly is to hit the beach, drink, and shop. I'm seriously done with all that.

And I'll be here next month too. But it will be a little different. For one, I'll be at a hotel I've been to the last 2 times I was here, which is good. Also, I'll hit my "one year left" mark, and start my countdown of last days in the navy. I'm really looking forward to that.

But first, I gotta figure out what to do today. There is literally nothing for me as of right now. No friends to hang out with, no desire to spend money, nothing. In a big town full of people, I feel very lonely.

Oh California, how I miss you... And my friends too  

zeromus1st
Captain


zeromus1st
Captain

PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:26 pm
August 1st, 2010

I have one year left in the navy!!! You have no idea how happy that makes me. Now I only have to count down the last days I'll see here, and soon enough, I'll be home, out of the navy, and ready to do anything I want!

But it's not all good. My little brother moved out for some reason. Don't really know why, other than he doesn't want to contribute to the house anymore. And he was in a car accident the other day too.

And there's other stuff going on, but I'm not getting involved in that.

My question is, why hasn't there been any good news when I show back up in the world?  
PostPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 7:45 pm
September 23, 2017

Just about 7 years since I was last active on here regularly.

I left the Navy in 2011. A very successful 6 years there. I miss the people and the ship. Don't miss the politics and bullshit.

Took some years to myself. After that, I went to school for HVAC. I now teach at that school as an HVAC instructor. I've been very successful in that respect.

Soon I'll be living at my aunt's house. My family is getting evicted out of our house. I've lived here for 20 years, more or less. It's lost to us now because of family members not paying the mortgage like they should. This is a shame, but I let it go. It's not worth the stress or heartache.

I've grown a lot since then. I had a LOT of anger. And bullshit. And stupidity. And I had a lot of soul searching to do. I'm a better me than I could have ever hoped for. I'm glad that I am the person I am now, and I'm looking forward to improving even more.

I have great friends and solid family that has my back. I'm 30 years old now. It's insane to think of all the time that's passed since my first post here back in 2009. I doubt this guild will ever come back to life but, at the very least, I can look back on all the good and mostly stupid things I said in here.

To good times coming~

Tony  

zeromus1st
Captain

Reply
Journals

Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 ... 4 5 6
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum