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 Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 1:08 pm
@ Kestin, sorry. I don't reply to many things in here, I think you'll have noticed that. So I'm not one of these people you seem angry at? I'm sorry you feel like people are ignoring you. Sometimes we're all just too selfish to see when others need our help and support. Um, *huggles*
And in response to your original post, I'm not totally sure what to say. Maybe you don't need a stereotyped ideal to hold yourself to. Maybe you just need to think about what you want out of you and aim for that. I'd hate to be a stereotypical 19 year old (being that age myself).... I'd be constantly drunk and pregnant if I was. Um yeh, that's all I can say. Hope that's ok!
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:10 pm
Kamastr0 @Jiko- Goodluck! I hope everything goes well for you *Hugs* Its alright to love =], it usually a large leap to take but worth it so you'll never have a "what if" in your mind heh
Thanks Kam <3 I know it's going to be difficult, especially since I struggle just to talk to people so this is a scary thing to decide to do XD thank you for the encouragement, I'm gonna need it. *hugs*
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:13 pm
Kamastr0 @Shiori- Whats a not boyfriend?is it a boyfriend whos pretending to be your boyfriend but not really?
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:29 pm
Today I decided that I wasn't going to let go of Sam without fighting for her. I walked her home today after class and I sat and talked with her mother. I told her how much i felt for Sam and what i thought would be a logical and reasonable idea. The response i got was a smack across the face. I did nothing afterward, no raised voice nor ill-intentioned words. She asked me what made me different than the other guys on the street. She asked me about why she, a woman well into her 50's should listen to somebody who barely have their feet wet in life. I didn't know what to say. And I still don't. Tomorrow is the last day i get to spend with Sam before she has to leave. I want to make it worth it. I'm going to miss her highly.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:43 pm
Song Riter227 Today I decided that I wasn't going to let go of Sam without fighting for her. I walked her home today after class and I sat and talked with her mother. I told her how much i felt for Sam and what i thought would be a logical and reasonable idea. The response i got was a smack across the face. I did nothing afterward, no raised voice nor ill-intentioned words. She asked me what made me different than the other guys on the street. She asked me about why she, a woman well into her 50's should listen to somebody who barely have their feet wet in life. I didn't know what to say. And I still don't. Tomorrow is the last day i get to spend with Sam before she has to leave. I want to make it worth it. I'm going to miss her highly.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:49 pm
Shiori Miko Song Riter227 Today I decided that I wasn't going to let go of Sam without fighting for her. I walked her home today after class and I sat and talked with her mother. I told her how much i felt for Sam and what i thought would be a logical and reasonable idea. The response i got was a smack across the face. I did nothing afterward, no raised voice nor ill-intentioned words. She asked me what made me different than the other guys on the street. She asked me about why she, a woman well into her 50's should listen to somebody who barely have their feet wet in life. I didn't know what to say. And I still don't. Tomorrow is the last day i get to spend with Sam before she has to leave. I want to make it worth it. I'm going to miss her highly.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 3:58 pm
Song Riter227 Shiori Miko Song Riter227 Today I decided that I wasn't going to let go of Sam without fighting for her. I walked her home today after class and I sat and talked with her mother. I told her how much i felt for Sam and what i thought would be a logical and reasonable idea. The response i got was a smack across the face. I did nothing afterward, no raised voice nor ill-intentioned words. She asked me what made me different than the other guys on the street. She asked me about why she, a woman well into her 50's should listen to somebody who barely have their feet wet in life. I didn't know what to say. And I still don't. Tomorrow is the last day i get to spend with Sam before she has to leave. I want to make it worth it. I'm going to miss her highly.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 4:04 pm
Shiori Miko Song Riter227 Shiori Miko Song Riter227 Today I decided that I wasn't going to let go of Sam without fighting for her. I walked her home today after class and I sat and talked with her mother. I told her how much i felt for Sam and what i thought would be a logical and reasonable idea. The response i got was a smack across the face. I did nothing afterward, no raised voice nor ill-intentioned words. She asked me what made me different than the other guys on the street. She asked me about why she, a woman well into her 50's should listen to somebody who barely have their feet wet in life. I didn't know what to say. And I still don't. Tomorrow is the last day i get to spend with Sam before she has to leave. I want to make it worth it. I'm going to miss her highly.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 5:19 pm
I've been sick for almost seven or eight weeks now, I don't know what's wrong with me, but being online just calms me so I don't have to think about it. So I've been doing okay... But I didn't expect any kind of communication from school people because I only ever talk to like 3 people regularly. I'm quiet and antisocial, and people get that vibe from me all the time and normally just leave me alone. Even when I try to be friendly I come off badly, so I don't really expect people to say much to me, or do anything around me. I think this is the first time I've ever become teary eyed over people sending me a card, even knowing that said people I've talked to at most maybe like 10 times in my life and are more sending this out of common courtesy or responsibility as teachers... I didn't expect this at all...
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:46 pm
D'aww, My girlfriend is so much like me, I off-handedly mentioned I was hanging out with this guy from another school at this convention, and then she implied I was having sex with him. <3
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 7:01 pm
I'm reeling from both extreme surprise and awkward embarrassment at the same time. *cringes while her head spins*Cannibal Horsey @ Kestin, sorry. I don't reply to many things in here, I think you'll have noticed that. So I'm not one of these people you seem angry at? I'm sorry you feel like people are ignoring you. Sometimes we're all just too selfish to see when others need our help and support. Um, *huggles*
And in response to your original post, I'm not totally sure what to say. Maybe you don't need a stereotyped ideal to hold yourself to. Maybe you just need to think about what you want out of you and aim for that. I'd hate to be a stereotypical 19 year old (being that age myself).... I'd be constantly drunk and pregnant if I was. Um yeh, that's all I can say. Hope that's ok!
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:41 pm
Probably won't be around much for a while. With the new job I have already giving me an insane amount of hours and everything else thats going on I doubt I'll have time for Gaia anytime soon.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:57 pm
My appointment at the student counseling center is on Monday. I think I'm supposed to feel relieved, like I'm finally going to get things figured out and maybe eventually I'll learn to quit being so scared of letting people physically close to me. But... I'm absolutely terrified. And I'm not sure if I'm more terrified of the appointment or of the things that happened years ago. I wanted to tell my mom, so I could say "Hey, look, I'm getting help. I'm... well, I'm not normal, and maybe never will be, but... I can function in society, you know." Only she doesn't know what happened, and I was too scared to tell her, and.... I chickened out.
Ugh. I don't even know what I feel any more. It's all mixing together, fear and hope and relief maybe, and I don't know.
But after I didn't talk to my mom, I talked to Tim on the phone. And it helped calm me down some. I think he tried to distract me by asking if there were any guys yet, and I told him about the sophomore from his unit who liked me, and how I was kinda nervous but I'd agreed to go hang out with him when he gets back from Nebraska. About an hour later, I got a text from Callan asking why his juniors were threatening him. >.< Tim's my best friend, but I know most of the other guys in his class, and he can be kinda... overprotective sometimes, and every once in a while his buddies join him. Apparently, I've somehow become his class's adoptive little sister. And oddly, I feel a little safer knowing that.
And I think I'm rambling. But I'm still not completely calmed down, and I can't focus, and... Sometimes I wish I weren't me.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:01 pm
Miss Amelia Pond My appointment at the student counseling center is on Monday. I think I'm supposed to feel relieved, like I'm finally going to get things figured out and maybe eventually I'll learn to quit being so scared of letting people physically close to me. But... I'm absolutely terrified. And I'm not sure if I'm more terrified of the appointment or of the things that happened years ago. I wanted to tell my mom, so I could say "Hey, look, I'm getting help. I'm... well, I'm not normal, and maybe never will be, but... I can function in society, you know." Only she doesn't know what happened, and I was too scared to tell her, and.... I chickened out.
Ugh. I don't even know what I feel any more. It's all mixing together, fear and hope and relief maybe, and I don't know.
But after I didn't talk to my mom, I talked to Tim on the phone. And it helped calm me down some. I think he tried to distract me by asking if there were any guys yet, and I told him about the sophomore from his unit who liked me, and how I was kinda nervous but I'd agreed to go hang out with him when he gets back from Nebraska. About an hour later, I got a text from Callan asking why his juniors were threatening him. >.< Tim's my best friend, but I know most of the other guys in his class, and he can be kinda... overprotective sometimes, and every once in a while his buddies join him. Apparently, I've somehow become his class's adoptive little sister. And oddly, I feel a little safer knowing that.
And I think I'm rambling. But I'm still not completely calmed down, and I can't focus, and... Sometimes I wish I weren't me. Cause your soul is on fire--a shot in the dark...
Deep breaths, Tabi. Deep breaths.
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 9:06 pm
Yoru Kurosawa Miss Amelia Pond My appointment at the student counseling center is on Monday. I think I'm supposed to feel relieved, like I'm finally going to get things figured out and maybe eventually I'll learn to quit being so scared of letting people physically close to me. But... I'm absolutely terrified. And I'm not sure if I'm more terrified of the appointment or of the things that happened years ago. I wanted to tell my mom, so I could say "Hey, look, I'm getting help. I'm... well, I'm not normal, and maybe never will be, but... I can function in society, you know." Only she doesn't know what happened, and I was too scared to tell her, and.... I chickened out.
Ugh. I don't even know what I feel any more. It's all mixing together, fear and hope and relief maybe, and I don't know.
But after I didn't talk to my mom, I talked to Tim on the phone. And it helped calm me down some. I think he tried to distract me by asking if there were any guys yet, and I told him about the sophomore from his unit who liked me, and how I was kinda nervous but I'd agreed to go hang out with him when he gets back from Nebraska. About an hour later, I got a text from Callan asking why his juniors were threatening him. >.< Tim's my best friend, but I know most of the other guys in his class, and he can be kinda... overprotective sometimes, and every once in a while his buddies join him. Apparently, I've somehow become his class's adoptive little sister. And oddly, I feel a little safer knowing that.
And I think I'm rambling. But I'm still not completely calmed down, and I can't focus, and... Sometimes I wish I weren't me. Cause your soul is on fire--a shot in the dark...
Deep breaths, Tabi. Deep breaths.
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
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