Gaian Grammar Nazi Guild and Paramilitary Force

Frequently Unasked Questions (FUQ) by dj medieval:

NB: READ THIS IN ITS ENTIRETY OR YOU WILL GET DENIED

Q: What is the purpose of the Gaian Grammar Nazi (GGN) Guild?
A: To promote.. er.. ENFORCE good grammar and spelling on Gaia by flaming the ever-loving bejesus out of people who don't merely abuse or molest but rather absolutely RAPE the English language. If you don't understand what I mean, you must be new.

Q: What is the purpose of the Gaian Grammar Nazi Paramilitary Force?
A: The same thing as the GGN Guild, I've just been itching for a reason to use the word Paramilitary. Also, having the words "Paramilitary Force" in your signature is pretty bad a**.

Q: Why the hell is this called the Grammar Nazi Guild? Do you all worship Satan? Do you hate Jews? Do you have sex with sheep?
A: There is an episode of a show called Seinfeld in the United States featuring a dramatized version of a real-life New York soup chef who has a corner soup market. In the show (and to some extent in real life), if you get out of line or don't pay attention or speak too slowly, he yells "NO SOUP FOR YOU!" and denies you any soup or sends you back to the end of the line. The main character calls him The Soup Nazi because of his unrelenting, aggressive insistence that you treat his soup shop like gold. In much the same way, the Grammar Nazi Guild insists that every man, woman, and child on Gaia use proper spelling and grammar, no excuses.

Q: So you don't have sex with sheep?
A: I didn't say that...

Q: So, we just flame everyone who has bad grammar or spelling?
A: Well, no. See, some people don't speak English natively. Other people are willfully stupid. Anyone with an ounce of sense can tell the difference. Don't flame the people who don't speak English natively, they are usually trying very hard.

Q: So, just turn the flame on hard and hot, right?
A: Well, sort of. Make sure your post has style and substance. If you can criticize the person you're flaming with both style AND substance, that's the best way to go about it. For example, an amusing three sentence post is ten times better than "stfu, n00b." If you can gently start what ends up being a flame war with some complete waste of flesh, that's even better.

Q: Ok, so where do we do this?
A: The Chatterbox. Flaming people in the RP forums, Extended Discussion forums, and several other forums is either frowned upon or forbidden, so we don't do it, k?

Q: What is forbidden?
A: Harassing other Gaians in PMs or instant messenger programs, ad homonym attacks (with the exception of attacking their intelligence, but that much should be obvious by now; what we're trying to avoid is "Your p***s is small" posts), and really long sigs. We're here to enforce good language skills, not to harass people.

Q: Why do we do this?
A: Are you kidding? The generation after mine (99% of the people on Gaia) is going to be responsible for running the world when I'm old. I don't want to turn on the TV when I'm 65 and the newscaster says "OMGWTFLOLZORZ!" ..... (Also, it is fun for us.)

Q: What should I put in my application?
A: Prove to me (or whoever happens to read your application) that you're not a festering retard. Prove that you have an excellent command of the English language without sounding high-and-mighty. Just look forward to being judged by the moderators, Microsoft word, and myself really.

1. YOUR JOIN REQUEST DAMN WELL BETTER BE AT LEAST A PARAGRAPH OR I WILL DENY YOUR REQUEST AND URINATE ON YOUR AVATAR. I'm getting tired of idiots sending a sentence or two and then I discover they slipped under the radar and are complete idiots. In fact, if our research team looks through your previous posts and finds something hideous, that's a denial too.

2. You must use the word grammar in your join request. Yes, "grammar." With an "a."

Love,
dj medieval