The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[xoAniLuv]

Use every Mary-Sue possible!
Be cliched; you know we all love that~
Don't use a Spell Check before uploading. Ever.
No research if you're using a foreign setting. Readers can't tell the difference these days.
Get pissed off when helpful critique is offered to you.
Use LOTS of sentence fragments and run on sentences.
@ND spe|| l!ke tH!$

XD

[Faraam Knight]

Villains must ALWAYS explain their entire evil plan instead of just outright shooting the character, just so the drama really picks up.

If your story has highly trained soldiers with big armor, or huge guns, make sure they suck completely at the fighting part. Only the main characters who have never wielded a weapon in their life can fight, everyone knows that.

[Maltese_Falcon91]

The Vengeful One

Villains must ALWAYS explain their entire evil plan instead of just outright shooting the character, just so the drama really picks up.

They can also never lie. Nobody likes a villain who's motives and goals are obscure. In fact, as a writer it's your duty to tie up every possible loose end by the story's conclusion.

[LoperDoper]

Any part of the story in the 20th century? Obligatory Hitler/Nazi cameo.

[the hidden ghost]

LoperDoper

Any part of the story in the 20th century? Obligatory Hitler/Nazi cameo.

This will instantly make your work super famous and edgy and popular!

[marshmallowcreampie]

LoperDoper

Any part of the story in the 20th century? Obligatory Hitler/Nazi cameo.

Even if your story doesn't take place on Earth or in that time period, make your villains as Nazi-like as possible. That'll make your story dark and edgy and cool, and the anti-racism themes will make your story totally deep.

[Clare_N]

xoAniLuv

Use every Mary-Sue possible!
Be cliched; you know we all love that~
Don't use a Spell Check before uploading. Ever.
No research if you're using a foreign setting. Readers can't tell the difference these days.
Get pissed off when helpful critique is offered to you.
Use LOTS of sentence fragments and run on sentences.
@ND spe|| l!ke tH!$

XD

In addition:

1, Never use ordinary names; they're boring and they don't tell the reader anything about the character. You should always name your characters after their physical and/or personality traits.

2, Always type one huge paragraph; anyone who says you shouldn't do this is just being a grammar Nazi.

3, Whatever you do, don't touch the Shift key. You must either type in all caps, in which case you should use the Caps Lock, or not bother with capitals at all.

4, Regarding your "no research if you're using a foreign setting" point, this should be "no research - period". Research only bogs you down with details and gets in the way of the plot.

5, If writing fanfiction, remember that your interpretation of the series concerned is always 100% right and anyone who disagrees is not a "true fan".

[I_Write_Ivre]

Clare_N

2, Always type one huge paragraph; anyone who says you shouldn't do this is just being a grammar Nazi.

These kinds of people are never helpful in making your stuff loook better.

[I_Write_Ivre]

The stronger the female character, the more she needs to suffer due to her gender/sex.

Rape, societal doom, and cancer are the only problems strong women can and must endure (never overcome).

[Lahrette]

If there are two women in your story, they must talk about men, babies, clothes, singers, or how unfair their lives are. No other topic is acceptable.
Similarly, if you have a "strong female character", they must find a man, as obviously their attitude is merely a front for insecurities which would be solved with a man's help.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Having a working female character is okay as long as it's in something like a dress shop or bakery.

Gay relationships are okay as long as they fit into the heteronormative standard of one partner being submissive and sensitive and the other one is super dominant and violent and stuff.

[Maltese_Falcon91]

((Oh man, if someone looks at my post history and doesn't notice what thread I'm posting in, this is going to look really bad.))

Lahrette

If there are two women in your story, they must talk about men, babies, clothes, singers, or how unfair their lives are. No other topic is acceptable.

What are you, some kind of feminazi? Woman are nothing more than empty shells that exist to please men. Therefore only thing that they may be permitted to discuss is men. If a story comes even slightly close to actually passing the the Bechdel test, then it is filth and must be rewritten immediately.

[Lahrette]

Maltese_Falcon91

((Oh man, if someone looks at my post history and doesn't notice what thread I'm posting in, this is going to look really bad.))
What are you, some kind of feminazi? Woman are nothing more than empty shells that exist to please men. Therefore only thing that they may be permitted to discuss is men. If a story comes even slightly close to actually passing the the Bechdel test, then it is filth and must be rewritten immediately.

((I think the same goes for a lot of the posts in this thread xd ))
Likewise, any - as improbable as it is - skill women happen to have is on account of the men who helped them get there.

[I_Write_Ivre]

Lahrette

If there are two women in your story, they must talk about men, babies, clothes, singers, or how unfair their lives are. No other topic is acceptable.
Similarly, if you have a "strong female character", they must find a man, as obviously their attitude is merely a front for insecurities which would be solved with a man's help.

((This is actually a rule in Hollywood when it comes to writing women. A conversation that isn't 'girly' is thought to drive the audience away and impossible to relate to))

[Lahrette]

I_Write_Ivre

Lahrette

If there are two women in your story, they must talk about men, babies, clothes, singers, or how unfair their lives are. No other topic is acceptable.
Similarly, if you have a "strong female character", they must find a man, as obviously their attitude is merely a front for insecurities which would be solved with a man's help.

((This is actually a rule in Hollywood when it comes to writing women. A conversation that isn't 'girly' is thought to drive the audience away and impossible to relate to))

((As I noticed your post I'd just finished reading an article on how screenwriters are taught not to let female characters pass the Bechdel test (yay coincidences). That's appalling. We're in 2013; the gap between genders is smaller than it's ever been, yet the film industry can't let two women have a serious conversation? It's degrading and disgusting. This possibly leaves the question of why I've not really noticed before though...I will put this down to the mostly male company I tend to hang around with sweatdrop . I'd make a comment about boycots, but it would never happen...actually, I'm off to see Warm Bodies this weekend - something that I'm sure will also not pass the Bechdel test mad ))