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-=-=- News and Such -=-=-
( or: wazzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap?? )
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Bran's Automated News Ticker.. thing..

idea I have four cosplay orders to fill and afterwards I'm going to take a short break from customs. Those buggers are tiring! @o;
This will mean no more bribing and no more pet trades unless it's for a common pygmy. Those are cute too, ya know! xd
Cosplays can start up again later.. at an undetermined time. Not too long, though. This shop will never grow if all that's offered is uber-expensive cosplays, aye? Och, aye!

And there shall begin the golden age of common pygmies. *angelic choir*


some guy who thinks he can write about News and Such


exclaim 1/2/05: OMG it's '05, AAAAH! domokun Bran would like to announce ( in third person format ) that there is a lineart auction taking place HERE that all of you should attend. Now. mrgreen
exclaim 10/14: Congrats to Vashtya, lilwerewolfgirl, Doomi, and Starr-chan for winning the raffle!!
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-=-=- Pygmy Asinos: Myth? -=-=-
( or: daw! do them thar creetters really exhist?? o_o )
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idea Pygmy Asinos.. majestic, magical, metaphorical, malicious, and miraculous. ... or are they? Instead of delivering another brutal string of alliterations, we will delve deeper into the mystery that is the Pygmy Asino.

idea Long considered to be whimsical nonsense the Pygmy Asino has, nevertheless, become legend. A few ancient-looking records appear to indicate that the Pygmy Asino has been around for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Homer himself, the great creator of both The Iliad and The Odyssey ( one ancient-looking record states ), even owned one to aid him in his writings as inspiration. Apart from eating all of his Pita bread, the small creature was recorded to have been an indispensable addition to the Homer household. The very same record indicates that the greek gods themselves were, in fact, tiny celestial asinos. While we're not so sure about that second part, the part about Homer sounds about right.
In other accounts, the Pygmy Asino was reported to have been kept aboard pirate ships before it was discovered that parrots would not eat the sailors' pita bread and were better suited for travel because they brought less luggage.

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idea Many ancient-looking documents report similar instances. While the validity of the afore-mentioned documents is still in question, the REAL question is this: "that still doesn't tell me what an Asino is."

.... I'm sorry, that was actually a statement.
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-=-=- Quick and Factual History/Info. -=-=-
( or: hyuk! so how'd them thar creetters git stawrted? :B ))
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idea While nobody can really argue with a genuine ancient-looking document, we've recently undergone a study of the Pygmy Asino and have surprisingly come across a varitable potpourri of interesting facts!

idea The first real live Pygmy Asino to be properly studied was discovered some twenty years ago by a highschool journalist named Tabitha Grey. After naming the creature 'Beep', she then proceeded to observe the creature and record her findings. This is what she found:

Tabitha Grey
arrow The Pygmy Asino hails from a faraway Island known as Il Ogico. The island itself, being largely covered by fields and dense forests ( and the occassional convenience store ), is the preferred environment of these small creatures. Building their nests either in the tops of trees or underground, these flexible creatures may produce two sets of eggs per year. The number of eggs that an Asino produces depend largely upon its health. Healthy, happy Asinos have been known to produce as many as six eggs while sickly ones have only produced one or two. ALL captive Asinos, however, produce only one or two eggs. Why is this? ... no one knows.
arrow Weighing in at about two pounds when full grown, the Pygmy Asino is no larger than a large house rat. Closely resembling a chibi-fied ( or "super-deformed" ) donkey, the differ only by the small feathery wings that they happily sport on their backs. The call of the Pygmy Asino is an amusing thing. They neither bray nor squawk. Rather, the noise they produce sounds a lot like a midget saying the word 'beep' after inhaling an obscene amount of helium. These beeps range from a second to third octave pitch and once one pygmy beeps, you can be assured that any pygmy within earshot will answer.. and loudly.
arrow Their usual coloration is tawny brown or grey with varied markings, though other colorations have been known to occur. ( in rare instances neon or polka-dotted Asinos have made a technicolored appearance ) Apart from their distinct colorations, the most striking thing about Pygmy Asinos are their incredible sense of style. Preferring to dress up than to fly around in the buff, they can be seen in many of the latest styles and even have a fondness for cosplay.
arrow The Asinos' diet consists of literally anything but meat. It has a particular liking for cheese puffs and pita bread, however, and getting between an Asino and his favorite dish can be suicidal. Great care must be taken to prevent an Asino from ingesting something that can be hazardous. Tragically, some Asinos have died due to this problem. Their autopsies revealed that everything from marbles to hubcaps are not safe from their insatiable appetites.
arrow Pygmy Asinos, though happy to live with one owner, are very social creatures. When in the wild they travel in flocks of up to 200 individual creatures and often lay seige to unsuspecting pita bread factories and/or wandering minstrels. Once claimed by an owner, however, they are very loyal companions. One Asino was even rumored to have saved his owners favorite breakfast cereal from a burning building.
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-=-=- The Modern Asino -=-=-
( or: i sawed one! i sawed one! XB )
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idea After their initial discovery some twenty years ago, the Asino population has been steadily on the rise thanks to good breeding and conservational efforts by various organizations. Though far from being as numerous as they once were, the Pygmy Asino has begun to show up in surprising places. Immensely fond of hot celebrities and important people, they are often seen two steps ahead of the paparazzi.

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idea Even though they have been officially rediscovered, most people have not seen ( or will not admit to seeing ) Pygmy Asinos. We like to think that it is because the species is still rather new and the masses to not wish to be considered 'crazy'.... that and someone apparently lost the memos we told them to hand out.
idea Whichever it is, the fact remains the same. Pygmy Asinos are flourishing in this day and age and climate. This, of course, isn't without its problems. Pygmies, though impossibly cute, are considered vermin on their home island. When introduced to other parts of the world, their reputation, sadly, preceeded them.
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-=-=- Pygmy Adoption Program -=-=-
( or: hayalp saaave our asinos! 8B )
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Random Educated Official

idea It has recently come to our attention that, while prosperous in their homeland of Il Ogico, pygmies need lots of care and attention to do well in captivity. Because of this, their numbers dropped drastically during their first few years in this world. To counter this, our dedicated scientists and asino specialists have developed a Pygmy Adoption Program. This program has slowly introduced pygmies to civilization and has offered the people of the world to adopt these charming creatures.
idea While still largely experimental, the adoption program is thriving. If you or someone you know is interested in adopting a pygmy, please read the questions below, answer them out loud, and PM fluorescein with a nice letter explaining why you should be added to the mailing list. n__n
idea exclaim failure to follow these instructions will result in you NOT being added. exclaim idea


Question Joe
<center>Answer Me These Questions Three...</center>
1) WHAT .... is your name?
2) WHAT .... is your quest?
3) WHAT .... is the air-speed velocity of an unlaiden swallow??

(( fine print: you don't really need to answer those questions. they're mainly there for fun. n_n; ))


A Pencil


OFFICIAL MAILING LIST:
(( if your name is not on here, please PM fluorescein to get it straightened out. if you post your request in the thread, it might get overlooked. mailing list will be updated WEEKLY. ))

arrow dustfeather
arrow invader_teri
arrow Green_Eyes
arrow Pipermints
arrow Scorpinsheart
arrow chirigami
arrow Lady Vincira
arrow rainbow_sparckle
arrow Sika-chan
arrow Vashtya
arrow Orasteele
arrow Krysil
arrow missaznanimeimage

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-=-=- Available Asinos -=-=-
( or: which'ins kin i take hooome? o_o??
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idea Below is a list of the types of Pygmies that will be available for adoption. The two types we typically have to offer are newborn eggs and full-grown adults.
First, we'll cover the basic package.

Eggs

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exclaim Asino eggs look much like small pebbles. In fact, they were often mistaken for just that on their native island. Small and fragile, these little things need lots of love and attention. That means you shouldn't put them in your pockets.
The egg stage is probably the best direction to go in adopting an Asino. When in egg stage there's still time to shape their little personalities into a pygmy you can be proud of. Keep the egg warm, let it listen to good music, tell it stories, etc. Be a good parent and it will definitely pay off.

Cost: 3k


Donklings

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exclaim Donklings.. the bane of Ogico. These little rascals are cute, cunning, and can chew through four inches of plywood in two minutes flat. Their wings are still quite small in this stage, so they do more fluttering than flying. They're very quick, however, so a leash would probably be a good idea.
It's in this stage that the Pygmies are most impressionable. Playtime with other donklings is a must if you want your pet to behave well in social situations later on. If you can manage to get your Pygmy to turn its roaming focus to you, you'll find that they are wonderfully clever and love mimicing their owners. This stage of their life is the bonding stage. If you can win them over before they're grown, you'll have won them over for life.


Adult

<center> *... you know the drill*</center>

exclaim It seems as if your little snookums has finally matured into a full-grown Pygmy.. Congrats!! S/he is now a very skilled aviator and can perform lots of tricks. Their mind has also sharpened, so stay on your toes or you may "lose" a few things.
This stage also renders your little one capable of falling in love and reproducing. If you do decide to breed your prized Pygmy, be responsible! We don't need a flock of wild Asinos flapping about.


idea Next we'll cover the rare/exotic Pygmies that will be available. Not as numerous as the eggs and more costly to boot, these Pygmies are delivered fully grown or have only one or two stages at the most.

Twins

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exclaim On rare occassions, a proud mama Pygmy will give birth to two eggs while in captivity. While a miraculous occurence.. it is also very bizarre. These twins will usually be smaller than other Asinos, making them more fragile. They will not be put up for adoption until fully grown.


Themed

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exclaim As you've probably already read, Pygmies love to play dress-up. Occassionally we will offer themed Asinos. These will arrive in their donkling stage and will grow to be full-grown adults. The themes will not be anything wonderfull specific. ( i.e. doctor, nurse, fireman, clown, etc. )


Cosplay!

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exclaim Perhaps one of the most rare Asinos is the Cosplay! Asino! These Asinos are so very lively and creative that they insist upon being dressed as their favorite Anime, Book, or Video Game character. These arrive fully grown and on the RAREST of occassions will come as twins!

Cost: ??? ( Auction Pets )
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Bryson & Braxton: Asino Care
( or: do them thar lyke crackeeers? o_0 )
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idea Here to help you understand the basics in caring for your new Pygmy are our dedicated, volunteer, badly colored Asino Specialists: Bryson and Braxton!! ( please disregard anything they might say about 'torture' or 'slavery'.. they're very silly boys. )

Dedicated Specialist Bryson

Th-the FIRST... thing to re-remember about p-p-pygmies is that they need.. LOTS of attentionses. Th-they're extremely social creatures. They also need lots.. of room because.. they like to run aroooound and like to f-fly free.
........ freeeeeeeeeeee. OwO


Dedicated Specialist Braxton

What Bryson is trying to say is that you need to make sure your Pygmy has ample room to stretch both its wings and legs. A fenced-in yard is pointless and a cage is out of the question. A long leash is your best bet and its best to keep the little blokes indoors if at all possible.
Make sure to feed your Asino twice daily and provide plenty of fresh water or he may feel inclined to raid your pantry.. with his teeth. Nasty, sharp.. POINTY teeth. *ahem*
Also, regular bathing is important. If your Pygmy is wearing a costume, it will have to be removed during bath-time. This is a dangerous task. o_o
Baby Asinos eat a lot and their appetites will grow along with their body. The average Asino will eat as much as a large Great Dane. Be prepared.
(( soon to be 'a pygmy infatuation' ))
( soon to be: 'rules and such' )
<center> Incredibly not-at-all Permanent
RAFFLE & EVENTS section..!!
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Ye Olde Official

RULES for YE OLDE RAFFLE:
exclaim Thou shalt not get angry with ye's fellow Gaian.
exclaim Thou shalt not pester Bran unless ye wants yon wifflebat up yon arse.
exclaim Thou shalt not post an obscene amount of times requesting yon tickets. If buying multiple tickets, post ye's requests all at onceth. Pleaseth.
exclaim Thou shalt not requesteth more than 5 tickets! Give the other peopleseths a chanceth!! @#$&*-eth!
exclaim Thou shalt do the Chicken Dance upon request.
exclaim Thou shalt not complain if yon tickets be-eth not yon winnereth.
exclaim Thou shalt wait at leasteth 10 minutes before postingeth for more tickets. If not, yon Bran might not see thy requests.
exclaim Thou shalt not spe@|< in l337 terms.
exclaim HAVETH FUNNETH!!


Raffle Tickets

idea No raffles going on. No ticket for you! Mwahaha! domokun


<center>-=-=- Adoptees -=-=-
( or: who gots one?? 8}
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idea This is a list of new Owners and the Pygmies they've adopted. :3

Basic Pygmy

10-14-04: Doomi and an egg!
10-14-04: lilwerewolfgirl and an egg!
10-14-04: Starr-chan and an egg!
10-14-04: Vashtya and an egg!
10-14-04: missaznanimeimage and an egg!


Twin Sets

N/A


Themed and Cosplay!

7-24-04: Llethander and Sesshy
7-24-04: Emilie_1983 andTsume
7-25-04: Koree Drae and Kyou-Kyou
7-25-04: xbranx and Tookish
10-07-04: Nyao-chan and Fye
12-27-04: dustfeather and Frodo
12-28-04: Lady Vincira and Vinny
<center>(( .. we're out of cute donkey pictures. =__=; ))
-=-=- Frequently Asked Questions -=-=-
( or: ... huuuuuh? 8B )
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The Big Book of Answers


Some of you may have questions regarding these pinchable little asinos. If you do, you've come to the right place. This is a list of questions that get asked either frequently or infrequently. The point is that the word "frequently" is cool and bloody hard to type if you're wearing fake nails.

-=-=-=-=-

question Question: "How much does a Pygmy cost?"
arrow Answer: "It depends on the type of Pygmy you want."

-=-=-=-=-

question Smarty-pants Retort: "You didn't answer my question."
arrow Disgruntled Reply: "Yes I did. If you want details, check the Available Asinos section."

-=-=-=-=-

question Emotionally Scarred Mumble: "..... You're mean."
arrow Unabashed Response: ".. Tough titty."

-=-=-=-=-

question Question: "Can I have a pygmy right now because { insert lame and/or crappy reason that is supposedly logical here } PLEEEASZEE?11!!eleven!?"
arrow Answer: "... **** no. You'll have to wait for an event like everyone else. (or offer xbranx a LOT of money.. mrgreen )"

-=-=-=-=-

question Question: "Why did you draw.. donkeys? Why couldn't it be dragons or lions or tigers or bears? They r0xx0r! Donkeys do not r0xx0r!!"
arrow Answer: "Do not question the power of the donkey within 100ft. of this thread or you shall be smitten."

-=-=-=-=-

question Question: "Can I choose what color my pygmy is?"
arrow Answer: "Only if it's a Cosplay! pygmy. Otherwise, no dice."

-=-=-=-=-

question Question: "What if I think they're a little expensive?"
arrow Answer: "Nobody's forcing you to buy one!" biggrin

-=-=-=-=-

question Question: "Do I have to rp these things or update a journal?"
arrow Answer: "Roleplaying is always encouraged, but certainly not mandatory."

-=-=-=-=-
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-=-=- Bran's Petses -=-=-
( or: she gots pets tew. *snort* XB;)


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and, um.. there are more. somewhere. XB;;;;
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-=-=- Links, Affiliates, Etc. -=-=-
( or: where you goin? :B )
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-=-=- End Credits -=-=-
( or: well i'll be.. this heer's tha end. XB )


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