Welcome to Gaia! ::


Eyes of Eden

This is about the third story I have posted on Gaia. So yeah. I'm experienced, I guess you could say. Obviously, this story is titled Eyes of Eden. This story is based on an idea I had from one of my nasty habits, which is a weird thing to say. And, much unlike all the rest of my stories, I actually have a good and saticifying title! Yay! So yeah. I'm not exactly sure how this is going to play out. I hope everyone likes it.

Note: Our editor who has volunteered her time would be GleeptheDragon. Thank you!


-Razor-
Other Razor Productions
Ghost of my Life: Part 1
Read about Emily.
Less Than Great Expectations
Read about Will.
Pills
Read about Regan.

Midway
Read about Daniel.

Pictures/Banners
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
[URL=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=22745943&][IMG]http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/473/eyesofedenaq0.png[/IMG][/URL]

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
[URL=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=22745943&page=1][IMG]http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/4562/eyesofeden2se0.png[/IMG][/URL]

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
[URL=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/original-stories-prose/eyes-of-eden-pg-13/t.22745943_1/][IMG]http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/9751/eyesofeden3mg1.gif[/IMG][/URL]
Sight
I can see.

Even if they don’t know it, I can see.

Then again, it isn’t exactly hard. Even the best liars and deceivers can’t hide everything. As long as you know what you’re looking for, you can find it.

However, their mistakes in covering up aren’t how I see them. Through my eyes, I see their sins. It’s difficult to put into words, however, each and every one of them, the Sinners, have it following them, weighing them down, surrounding them, showing as plain as their face. For some, it’s simple vice. Gossip, lying, bragging, all the same. Their words weighing down the person. Sloth, laziness, their feet don’t move when they walk. However, there are others that tend to have fouler reasoning behind them. Affairs, liaisons, amours, the ones who has committed this treason are followed their “partners,” so to say, lustfully running their invisible hands along the person’s shirt and whispering sweet nothings in their ear. Anorexic, bulimic, they are covered in what has come out of their stomachs. The rancid smell and sickening contents is always enough to make my own gut turn in its place.

I see their sins. All of their sins. Their flaws, their habits, their crimes.

I can see.

My list. The Sin List, as I like to call it. It helps me keep track of the different types of Sinners. I’ve filled up the pages with what I’ve seen. The different levels and amounts of scandal, the people that seem to commit the crimes most often, the people who have no crime. Pages and pages are committed solely to sin. I guess it’s my purpose. I live for that purpose.

Here, I’m known as Nismai, at least, to the few that I actually speak with. They know me, sure, but they don’t know what my vision tells me. Some I trust more than others. Some I speak to once and never again. Some I don’t speak to at all. It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. It doesn’t matter because they don’t understand.

The only thing that matters is the Sin List.

As someone once told me, the world is a horrible place, and I can literally see why.
Adam and Eve
There is one place I do like to go. That would be the City Park. Specifically, the play ground area. Not to play for myself, but to watch the little kids playing. There, I can look without seeing crimes and vice. The little kids are all innocent and pure. It’s a nice break.

However, I live in reality, and soon, I’m forced back to adulthood and it’s anguish. I prop open my pocket sized, leather bound book, capture one of the many pens in my coat pocket and began my notes.

A man ran down the pavement sidewalk with earplugs blasting some music. Like the running will help. Smoke, thicker than the walls of Fort Knox pours out of his clothes. What’s the point of running if you smoke two packs a day?

He’s followed closely by a woman. The skin over her nose was missing and there were black lines drawn everywhere on her skin. She looked terrible. It was obvious that she had gotten a nose job, and just the thought made me disgusted. Someone putting his or her hands inside you and messing around with your physical make up. I never liked the idea.

I flipped through the pages and marked the two down, noting their unique differences. I was about to scan for more, but I was interrupted.

“Excuse me. May I sit here?”

My glance strayed toward the voice. At first glance, the guy standing there was a normal person, nothing wrong with him. Pure, strangely enough. But when I looked closer, I saw his wrists were slashed. The wounds looked wicked and sinister. With each beat of his heart, his heart glowed red with guilt. A small amount, but enough to get noticed.

Silently, I nodded and he sat. I turned my attention back to my list and made a note of him. I could feel his gaze while I wrote. I looked up and scanned the area again. I took note of an old married couple that both had thoughts of killing the other off, before one person caught my eye. It was a man in his late thirties, dark eyes, and a scar on his right cheek. It was hard to pick out these details, because of the fresh, metallic blood that covered his skin and clothes. A nine-year-old girl, the one that had been missing according to the papers followed him, but the little girl wasn’t real. She was his sin. She looked terrified. He had raped her.

I snapped my book shut and turned to the man beside me. “Do you have a cellphone I could borrow? It’s an emergency,” I said.

He nodded and began searching for it in his pockets. I watched the murdering rapist from the corner of my eye. He was searching the playground for his next victim. I turned back to the man next to me. He conjured up his phone and I took it in hand. I dialed quickly. I held the small phone to my ear and heard it ring twice before a voice answered on the other end. “Hello. Bay Side City Police Department. How may I help you?”

“I believe I have found Eve Kelley’s killer,” I said in a low tone. I stared right at the murderer, making sure he never left my sight.

“Where is he?” the voice on the other end asked.

“The park. He’s wearing a red T-shirt with a logo on it. 2000 World Domination Tour, it’s probably for some band. He has ripped jeans and a long scar on his right cheek, too,” I spoke quickly into the phone. The man next to me was listening, and began searching for the man as well.

He leaned over to me and whispered, “He’s wearing a white shirt.”

I corrected myself to the voice on the phone. “He’s looking for someone new to attack,” I added.

“All right, we’re sending police now,” the voice answered. I thanked the voice and handed the phone back to the man next to me without hanging up. I thanked him as well, before getting up and heading to follow Eve’s killer.

I stayed a good distance away, but close enough to keep my eye on him and see whom he was targeting. I glanced down at the invisible Eve Kelley representing his crime. Her eyes caught mine as I walked past. She then did something I had seen no other sin do. She opened her mouth and spoke to me. ‘Adam Riley,’ she said in a quavering voice. She looked so terrified and completely solid. Something I’d never seen before in a sin. She wasn’t real and yet, she still drew my sympathy. I gave a small nod to let her know I’d heard her. Adam Riley must have been the guy’s name.

I returned my gaze up to him. The blood flowed in a constant stream fresh down his cheek, off his shoulder, raced to his hand, and dropped in little tear shaped droplets toward the ground off his fingertips. He was aching to kill again. I could tell even without having to see his previous sins. I followed his gaze toward a seven-year-old little girl.

I continued walking past Adam. I had to find some way to get her away, out of his sights. The only way to lose someone was if you yourself are lost among a lot of other someone’s. I stopped on the opposite side of the playground from the bench I had sat at. She sat in the sand, by herself, playing with a doll. I glanced over at Adam. He was still keeping a close eye on her. After a quick scan of playground, I decided in my mind on a plan, and walked over to her.

Kneeling down to her level, I gently said hello. She answered with a hi, but didn’t look up at me. She concentrated on her doll.

“What are you doing by yourself? Wouldn’t you like to play with the other kids?” I asked.

“They don’t want to play Dollies,” she said sweetly.

“How do you know if you don’t ask them,” I said, trying as best I could to be sweet in return to her.

She looked up, innocently. “Do you think they would?” she asked.

“Well, you never know until you ask. Plus, I think I saw another lonely little girl like you on the other side of the playground. Why don’t you go see if you can play Dollies with her,” I suggested to her.

She paused a moment before nodding and smiling. She stood up and I pointed out another girl to her. She raced away and I stood up.

In an instant, I cast a hard glare toward Adam to let him know I was onto him. I could see Eve smiling at me, though. That’s all that stood out to me. His returned gaze was livid and fierce. I could see the barbed wire beginning to wrap around his limbs and incase his body. But I was concentrating on Eve.

I moved away from the playground. No children should be hurt or should have to see hurt. I may have just saved that little girl from a violent death, but I had put myself in the place where she had been. From the corner of my eye, I could see him moving, following me. I quickened my pace and set my course for the pond. If I were lost among someone’s, he wouldn’t find me. Even if he did find me, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t do anything with that many people around.

He was closing in on me. I hurried even more. All I had to do was make it through the break of trees and I’d be safe. He was still gaining on me, so I started to run. Adam took up the chase. Just as I entered the trees, Adam caught hold of my coat. There was a bit of panic in my brain. I let my arms slide loose of the sleeves and continued to run. He still followed and just as I was close to the other side, he caught my hair, something I couldn’t get loose from.

With a firm pull to the back of my head, he sent me to the ground. The sting from my head and the pain from the fall both brough tears to my eyes. My vision became blurred. I felt a hard kick come in contact with my right side. I could hear Adam’s words bring yelled at me, but they didn’t stick. I twisted and turned with each blow he landed.

However, I could hear someone else. They were coming closer, yelling. I needed them to hurry. I could feel the barbed wire from Adam’s fury tearing and ripping my skin. I attempted to get away. Thankfully, the person coming pushed Adam off of me leaving me for a successful get away. I crawled like a dog as I heard the two struggled with each other. My vision cleared and I looked back to see who had just helped me. The man that had lent me his cellphone held Adam off. He gave one foul punch to Adam’s jaw, blood spraying off of both of them. Immediately, the barbed wire shrank off Adam as he fell to the ground.

My eyes strayed to Eve. She sat on the ground near Adam. She looked at me. And smiled. As she looked at me, her eyes slowly began to die. The shine and life left them and her smile faded. No, not just her smile. Her whole form began to fade away. She became just another sin.

I sighed as I laid my head down on the rough pavement.

Sirens. I could hear sirens.
ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL STORY I LOVE THESE STORYS! heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart

Dapper Noob

Yeah, awesome job Razor. I am subscribing to this thread! I can't wait until the next section comes out!.
=]

Chatty Gaian

Wow...that's all I can say. It's amazing and already has me hooked.

I'm subscribing to the thread. 3nodding
L a s t K i s s
Wow...that's all I can say. It's amazing and already has me hooked.

I'm subscribing to the thread. 3nodding

im hooked too, its amazing how you can do that razor surprised 3nodding im already subscribed to it too mrgreen
Wow. I feel loved! heart sweatdrop heart sweatdrop heart
Razor_tothe_Rosary
Wow. I feel loved! heart sweatdrop heart sweatdrop heart
You should be. Your writing is completely original and the story is well written. I really enjoyed what you've written so far and I'm looking forward to more!
Thou Shalt Not Tell a Lie
I watch as the police put Adam into the back of a cop car. I pull my jacket tighter around my body. The inside of my coat is no longer warm as it had been. It was cold, just like the blood flowing through my veins.

“Are you okay?”

I finally glance away from Adam. The man who had just saved me stood at my left. I put on a faint smile. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered before turning my gaze back to the cop car. It was hard to tell, but blood was leaking from Adam’s nose, mouth, and lip. That was one wicked punch.

“That was incredible what you did. You saved that little girl,” the man said.

“Yeah, sure, but how much does it mean when you have to be saved yourself?” I answered.

“That doesn’t matter. You still saved her life. She probably doesn’t even know it,” he added.

“No, she doesn’t. And it’s better that way,” I said. The cop car pulled away with Adam in the back. I sighed as I turned to go back to the bench and resume my previous activities, but the man stopped me.

“What’s that on your side?” he asked. I pushed my coat back on my right side to reveal a large area of dark red, blood. Adam’s anger really had cut me. As I looked at my wound, I became aware of all the other pains in my body. They ranged from the dull, throbbing pain of my scalp to the pain in my side of the torn flesh. All of it from Adam. My hand collapsed in on my side just under my lungs, where it hurt the most. That was where he had landed his first kick. I groaned as I placed a bit of pressure on it. It hurt so much. “You’re hurt,” the man said. “You have to get to a hospital.”

“The hospital is six miles away,” I said, speaking mostly to myself. “There’s no way I’d make it. I’d pass out before then.” I pushed my jacket off my shoulders and again it fell to the ground. He noticed something and picked up my coat. He held it for me to see. The inside was covered in blood as well. There was a sharp pain in my lungs from lack of proper air.

“Come on. I’ll take you there,” he said. He offered his hand to me, and I had not choice but to take it. He led me quickly from the park toward a parked car just down the street. He helped me into the passenger side of the car, laying out my coat underneath to collect my blood. I sat and rested in the collecting blood. He hurried around the opposite side of the car, and took the post of driver.

He drove in a rush, pushing the limit of speed to get to the hospital. I glanced over at him. “Why are you doing this for me?” I asked, blurting out my words.

He glanced over at me for a second before returning his eyes to the road. “I don’t know. You did a very brave thing back there. Something that very few people would do. Maybe it’s because of that. Maybe it’s because I see you at that park every Wednesday,” he answered. He turned the wheel smoothly to the right, guiding the car.

“What’s your name?” I demanded.

“Luc. Lucas Elliot. Yours?” he asked

“Nismai,” I answered simply.

“Nismai?”

I gave him a cold stare from the corner of my eyes. “Yeah.”

“Well, where are you parents, Nismai?” he asked.

My cold glare remained constant. I wouldn’t let him see through me. “Home,” I answered simply.

“Someone will have to call them once we get there.”

I returned my gaze forward. My fingers and toes were turning cold from lack of blood. I controlled my breathing at a slow, steady pace. My breathing slowed my heart a bit, and I gained control of my body once more. Slowly, I parted my lips and my vocal cords rattled out the words, “I will.” My brain knew to mark down the truth. I wasn’t going to call.

The car pulled up to the front of the emergency wing. Luc opened his door as I slowly clasped my blue fingers on the metal handle. Pushing the door open, I felt weak. Luc hurried around to help me. “You’re looking really pale,” he said to me. His words seemed to roll of me slowly, not even making their way to my mind. I felt his fingers, hands, arms lift me and my blood-soaked coat up and out of the car. I clutched his shirt as I began to fade in and out. He carried me in a hurry into the hospital entrance.

What was it going to tell them? I was going to have to lie my way out.
Oh, my God! This is awesome! eek I am totally hooked! Another Razor Masterpiece!!

Who is this guy? An angel? How can he see people sins? (Which on a similar note, I don't like the name of...) And how the heck do you pronounce his name?!
The name is actually a riddle, which I'm hoping someone figures out. It's not that hard to tell. It's why I like it so much. But I believe it's "Niss-my-ah." The I on the end is silent. At least, that's how I've been saying it. sweatdrop

As for all the questions on who Nismai actually is, I'll wait to explain it all. twisted
cool new update 3nodding

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum