The Archive: Jokes by Other Users
You might be a hardcore gamer if
you accidentally call your girlfriend the name of that one girl from any RPG
you've actually seen your console start smoking
you're told to sweep and you use the broom like a sword
you're grounded from gaming *gasp*
you actually try to find every secret in the game on your own
you emulate bullet-time in your spare time
you roleplay in real-life the dramatic events of a game
you use a character's catch phrases
you can no longer see the wall of your room due to game posters
you criticize the reviews in game magazines
over 50% of your clothes are from games
you know the name of over 50 foreign games
you create topics based on being a hardcore gamer
You dress up like you favorite video game character on a day to day basis
Your s/n has a certain game system or game character in it.
You were fired from your job because you paid more attention to your GameBoy than you do the boss.
You know all the Koopa Kids. (and I do )
LOL! And I can hum the Mario theme any day any time!
If you buy multiple copies of the same game to get all the novelty items possible, you might be a hardcore.
You might be a hardcore if...
If you tell your friends you can't go because "the princess is in danger!"
If you cellphone ring tone plays a song from OoT.
If you are proudly ranked #1 of 5,000,000 on an online game.
If you walk into a job and introduce yourself by saying "It's a me Steveio"
If you come into that job interview playing a gameboy.
If you have thwarted the evil plan of every 9 out of 10 evil masterminds.
If you have a dream about playing MGS and wake up in a vent.
If you know how to do every wrestlers move and the name of it on Smackdown HCTP.
If any Final Fantasy game was just a "2 day rental"
If you know the layout of every Unreal Tournament map.
If you can't remember the last time you ate anything that wasn't in your appropriately named "stash o' snacks" or showered.
when you jump up in the air expecting to double jump
when you walk up to the store and ask if they have any potions
when you consider trying to catch random objects a game
when you have actually have a game schedule
when you start having withdrawals from any game
when you call your friends by "Sir John"
when you come to jury duty with your GBASP
when you are reminded of the Gamecube everytime you see a box
when you see a turkey pop up every time you win in a school fight
Yuo might be A Hardcore Gamer if...
You get into fights from debates about gaming.
You sing tunes to Game in class to pass the time
You think of your next move in a stratagy game......for THREE WEEKS
You plan to be laid with your gaming stuff when you die.
You refer to character in games as real ppl you know
You lack a memory card, so you play a game for 12 hours straight and beat it.
You might be a hard core gamer if....
When the power goes out and shuts off your video game, you drop to your knees and scream "NOOOOOOOOO!!" like it is the end of the world.
(I've seen it happen O.o)
If you had to do a report on a famous war and you did it on Nintendo vs. Sega
If you made it this far and thought it was funny or reminded you of last week.
You might be a hardcore gamer if...
When you turn a game on you haven’t played in 5 on u shed a tear of nostalga
If u have a ring tone of a vg
If u ever spend a car insuence on a beta version of loz surprised ot on ebay
you might be hardcore if you broke a rake pretending your a dragoon
you might me hard core if you have mario car floor mats.
you might be hard core if youve played gameboy during a test
you might be hardcore if started calling some one a nickname they have no idea what for cause they look like a VG character
you might be a nerd if you spent band class trying too play FF tunes
You might know when your hardcore , when you have played a game so much you actully think or see the spirites/character(s) voices in your head or see them jumping around your room when your trying to go to sleep.
You might be hardcore when you don't have a memory card and try to beat a game thats over 200 hours in 3 days .
If you've ever said "This is my BOOMSTICK!" in a scottish accent.
If you've ever tried to steal a car and was surprised to find the door locked.
If you try to trade weapons into a clothing store.
If you faked a terrible illness to stay home and play games.
If you try to rocket/grenade/gauss jump.
If you've ever attacked someone with giant scissors.
If you beat your brother fighting Tekken-style.(me)
If you poke someone several times to hear them say funny things.
If you trick-or-treated as Pyramid Head with a cardboard helmet and didn't let the rain stop you.(me)
If you've ever listed "4 itchy tasty" as your favorite quote.(me)
If you burned down a theater after seeing either Tomb Raider movie.
If you try to impale someone with your left hand, because you forgot it didn't have huge claws.
If you know what EwL stands for.
If you've ever said "This is my BOOMSTICK!" in a scottish accent.
If you've ever tried to steal a car and was surprised to find the door locked.
If you try to trade weapons into a clothing store.
If you faked a terrible illness to stay home and play games.
If you try to rocket/grenade/gauss jump.
If you've ever attacked someone with giant scissors.
If you beat your brother fighting Tekken-style.(me)
If you poke someone several times to hear them say funny things.
If you trick-or-treated as Pyramid Head with a cardboard helmet and didn't let the rain stop you.(me)
If you've ever listed "4 itchy tasty" as your favorite quote.(me)
If you burned down a theater after seeing either Tomb Raider movie.
If you try to impale someone with your left hand, because you forgot it didn't have huge claws.
If you know what EwL stands for.
...Hearing or seeing a name that a game character has (Like Heather, Maria, James, Harry, Douglas, Mario, Luigi, so on so forth) the effect of your mind snapping straight into that game and you burst out in giggle fits.
You compare real life situations to a game plotline. ((Shut up...We've all done it))
If you quote a really old game and you're the only one that gets it. (("I'm only a dark knight!" *Snickerlaughgiggle*))
If you know about games five years before anyone else, even the designers. ((Yeah, that's a little over-exagerated.))
If you use game terms in place of real life terms. ((Okay, so who here hasn't called mechines mechina, or tried learning Al Bhed? ))
If you think in the mindset of how you type. ((Yes, I actually think in my head sometimes, "*laughgigglesnicker* and such....))
If you can actually imagine your fan character interacting and such in the game's environment. ((Yeah, we all have 'em....))
If you feel like you know game characters better than your best friends....(( What? Natsume is very nice! That's the reason that I'm going to start reading LoTR...))
If you have multiple game character's voices stamped into your head...((Well, Elk, Kite, BlackRose, Natsume, Sora, James, Harry, Cheryl, etc. etc.))
If it's foggy out, you compare your town to Silent Hill.
At night, after playing/watching/reading about/on a website of Silent Hill, you can't move because you're afraid that one of those damned demon babies will eat your ankles....
You've ever falled asleep while playing a game (yes)
You've stayed up through the night playing a game (until 5 am, anyway)
If you can relate something that happened in real life to a video game
If video games are your choice subject of discussion
If you have a character name from a video game written somewhere
If you ever pick up a stick and you can "feel the power of it surge through your body" and then continue on to hack away at the evil forces
If you pawn something to get some sort of videogame accessory
If you've ever tried to write in for a videogame review
If you've ever tried to write in for a mistake in a videogame review
If you can't tell the difference between "obsession" and "hardcore"
if you get epileptic seizures from playing videogames at all hours in the morning.
if you no longer have finger prints because you grip the controler to hard, you might be hardcore
If you've ever bought extra controllers even though your the only on that plays, you might be a hardcore.
You might Be hardcore if you Bookmark Every FAQ of Every Video game you own
You might be a hard core gamer if you forget to eat because you were hooked on a game.
you might be hardcore if youve owned three of the same game at one point
If you collapse at your keyboard after LANing for 3 days, no sleep, and on a diet of soda and snacks....
you ever asked your docker what machine tracked you hp
Went to the gym for exp
Asked the pharmisist for phenox down
if i play all three house of the deads all day long!
You Might Be A Hardcore Gamer if all your fingers have Blisters bigger than than the controller
If your save file reads 99:99, you might be hardcore
If you have a dent in your finger after a session, you might be hardcore.
If you have memorized every AC part in the Armored core series, you might be hardcore
If you can operate a Ak-47 better than most terrorists, from playin socom, you might be hardcore.
If you dont have a single N64 controller with the stick intact, you might be hardcore.
If your Xbox reads that you have under 50,000+ free blocks, you might be hardcore.
If you can dislocate your thumb at will to reach the Start button on an Xbox controller, you might be hardcore.
If your paper on FF characters is longer than your autobiography, you might be hardcore.
If you have ever shoplifted a game just so you dont have to write a check, you might be hardcore.
If you figured out dot.hack, you might be hardcore.
If you've ever used threats from video games in real life. (I do that a lot)
you have video game toliet paper
you spend all day playing the game without rest, food, or breaks
you beg people on the street for cash to buy the lastest game or import
you spend over 100 dollars for one video game
When the rare occasion you actually start doing bad in a game you immedently shut it off and send it into a conor for 3 days to make it learn its lesson.
You might know when your hardcore when you dressed up as mario & luigi and got there voices down pat.
If you have an Atari screensaver, you might be a hardcore.
If you were awake at night 6 out of 7 days a week because of WAY too much RE, you might be a hardcore.
If you have a dream about The Legend of Zelda and wake up with a dead oktorok by your bed, you might be a hardcore.
If saving the princess is more importent than collage, you might be a hardcore.
If you don't know what the current presadent is but know the stats for a level 31 paladin in EQ, you might be a hardcore.
If you have ever pretended that a Delta airline flight is a level in Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge, you might be a hardcore.
If you did the above and were kicked off the plane for makeing too many machine gun noices, you might be a hardcore.
If you stole various wedding rings so you could pretend you were in a level of Sonic, you might be a hardcore.
If you have ever had a dream about the girl who says "Prepare to qualify" you might be a hardcore.
If you don't need to buy wallpaper because the walls are filled with shelfs filled with games, you might be a hardcore.
If you made your own replcia of Act 1 in Sonic complete with the ring collecting sound, you might be a hardcore.
If you did the above then made your own Sonic lampshade, you might be a hardcore.
If the "What if the world was more like a video game" epasode of Futureama brought a nostalgic tear to your eye, you might be a hardcore.
If you have ever painted Master Chief pics on a Xbox, you might be a hardcore.
If you contributed more than 10 jokes to this idea, you might be a hardcore.
If you tryed to replecate the monster cards from Lost Kingdoms, you might be a hardcore.
If you spent all your life savings to get into E3, you might be a hardcore.
If you were a member of the Billy Mitchel fanclub, you might be a hardcore.
If you introdused yourself to the class by saying "Hi, my name is Link, iv'e saved the prinsess many times, own the Triforce of Corage, and have a pet fariy." you might be a hardcore.
If you have heard of games that were made before you were born, you might be a hardcore.
If you have lost 7 wifes/husbands to EQ, you might be a hardcore.
If you have a Boba Fett action figure, you might be a hardcore.
If you have a Sonic costar, you might be a hardcore.
If you yell a games when they give you a Game Over, you might be a hardcore.
If you care if the Space Channel series is cancelled, you might be a hardcore.
If you download EVERY free game you can find, you might be a hardcore.
If you did the above than deleted the 10000 word essay that's due tomorrow to get enough free space to download another, you might be a hardcore.
If you paint Mario and then call it Mario in Piccaso, you might be a hardcore.
If you know the exact meausurements of a NES controller, you might be a hardcore.
If you hum the FF win battle tune every time you accomlish something, you might be a hardcore.
If you've ever lay awake at night morning over Aeris' death, you might be a hardcore.
If you've ever turned a trip to the grosery into a five hour tactical mission, you might be a hardcore.
If you had ever had a funaral for a game charecter that died, you might be a hardcore. (that one is for you Aeris)
If you've ever tried to break into a game company HQ to put a game of your own in, you might be a hardcore.
If you did the above and stole a beta version of a new game while you were in there, you might be a hardcore.
If your first words were "Press Start" you might be a hardcore.
If you still have 20 year old Tetris crackers, you might be a hardcore.
If you've reset a game 100 time to win a virtual lottery, you might be a hardcore.
If you never watched Star Trek because you were too busy trying to get the high score on Pac-Man, you might be a hardcore.
If you are the #1 thumb wreseler in the world, you might be a hardcore.
If you got a seizure from taking the Super Mario Bros. Vitamins, you might be hardcore.
If you have ever thought a turtle egg was a Yoshi egg, you might be hardcore.
If the Matrix could not keep your attention because you were too jumpy due to a server maintenance in your favorite MMORPG (we?ve all been there), you might be hardcore.
If you have ever spent more than five hours doing pixel art to get the perfect signature on a forum (coughGaiacough) ,you might be hardcore.
If you didn’t think at least one of these were even a little funny, you are defiantly not a hardcore gamer, or even a gamer.
If on a job application where it says “Do you speak any foreign languages?”, you write 133t sp34k ,you might be hardcore.
If you did the above and put “Al Bhed” right under it, you might be hardcore.
If you never miss “The ScreenSavers” on TechTV&G4, you might be hardcore.
If you know every song from “Parappa the Rapper” by heart, you might be hardcore.
If you have ever had to write a paper on medieval history, and you brought in a strategy guide for the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time instead, you might be hardcore.
If you brought in a copy of Doom 3 to show people how to combat terrorists/demons, you might be hardcore.
If you’ve ever been on the segment “It came from Xbox Live!” on X-Play, you might be hardcore.
If you ever went into the void of cyberspace and back to get your plus six sword back, you might be hardcore.
If after someone steals your item in a MMORPG, you follow the thief around for a year straight until they give it back to you, you might be hardcore.
If you did the above even though it was just a short sword, but it was the principal of the thing, you might be hardcore.
If you think this page should be a sticky, you might be hardcore.
If you would sell your first born for a pre-release copy of FFXII, you might be hardcore.
If you actually did download the leaked Halo 2, shame on you!!!
If you did the above and did the same with GTA:SA, all hope is lost for you.
If you don’t want to go outside because “You can’t stand the light!” due to to much game playing, you probably did the above two.
If you know the signs of the BSOD but not fire safety, you might be hardcore.
If you beat Metroid Prime on hard mode, you might be hardcore.
If you did the above then moved on to Halo, you might be hardcore.
If you saw the REALLY funny bulletin board easter egg in Halo, you might be hardcore.
If you have a PHD in .hack plotline, you might be hardcore.
If you've ever built your own computer, you might be hardcore.
If you've ever written an FAQ for a game on Gamefaqs.com, you might be hardcore.
If you have ever done VGX's Programmers Code, you might be hardcore.
If you've ever dodged a draft just so you could play, play, and play, you might be hardcore.
If you have done most of the above, you might be hardcore.
If you can drive a Warthog better than you can drive a car, you might be hardcore.
If you bought the Red vs. Blue DVDs, you might be hardcore.
If you have a one-track mind and did three Halo related jokes in a row, then you're me.
If you have ever hacked Sephiroth in your copy of FFVII, you might be hardcore.
If you need to play at least three hours to sustain your life force, you might be hardcore.
If you subscibe to every gaming news e-mail service in the country, you might be hardcore.
If you didn't care about Wind Waker's cel chading but the long sailing ruined the game for you, then you're me... and you might be hardcore. Wait... what?
If you cosplay as a VG character and 3 out of every 5 convetions, you might be hardcore.
If you have the Nintendo placemats from Wendy's in a safety deposit box, you might be hardcore.
If you think that T.V. should be interactive, you might be hardcore.
If you own the Powerpuff Girls Gameboy games because it's the only way to finish your Gameboy Color game collection, you must be hardcore.
If you did the above and said you could make a better game, so you did, and it was a better game, you might be hardcore.
If the Bungie crew that made Halo saw and recognize you with a position in their company, you might be hardcore.
If you did the above and made the Warthog engine, you make the world a better place.
If you plan to get a degree in ludiology, you might be hardcore.
If you know what ludiology is, you might be hardcore.
(Note: ludiology=study of gaming)
If you did the above but got it at the age of 16, you might be hardcore.
If you poke chickens at a farm expecting them to call their friends and attack you until you go indoors, you might be hardcore.
If you did the above and weren't afraid of death be cause "you have a fariy in a bottle", you might be hardcore.
If you poked the chickens with a plastic Master Sword, you might be hardcore.
If you did the above and could have sworn you aged 10 years when you pulled it out, you might be hardcore.
If you play FFXI, get married and then make a Tarutaru character just to make it look like you have children... well, that would probably make you more of a loser...
If you thought you had psychic powers for a week after playing Psy-Ops, you might be hardcore.
If you wake up on your birthday thinking "I just gained a level!", you might be hardcore.
If the first thing you can think of when you have an accident is to stuff your mouth with food to get back to full health, you might be hardcore.
If you did the above, and thought there wa a glitch in your life because it didn't work, you might be hardcore.
If you bought a wide screen and surround sond system but didn't hook it up because you couldn't go another minute without FFXI, you might be hardcore.
If you start classifying every animal you come across by it's possible element, you might be hardcore.
If you have the biggest dark circles under your eyes in the world due to sleep deprivation because you needed to unlock your subjob before turning the game off, you might be hardcore. (i'm guilty of this one)
If the your more conserned about BSOD prevention than homeland security, you might be hardcore.
If you've ever said "Why haven't I learned Fire yet?! I should have learned it when I was level/age 5!", you might be hardcore.
If you quote from games more often than simpsons fans quote from that show, you're definitly hardcore.
If you played PSO until they shut down the Dreamcast severs, you might be hardcore.
If you cannot move more then a certain amount of things at a time, no matter what their size, becauseyour inventory is full, you might be hardcore. (Or lazy?)
If you've ever tried to sing the theme on Halo's title screen (the aw aw aw aw one), you might be hardcore.
If you have sumitted 3 or more jokes to this topic, you might be hardcore.
If you know that Sweat is a show on G4 and not just something that makes your shirt wet, you might be hardcore.
If you cryogenicly froze yourself because you couldn't stand to wait another minute for Halo 2, you might be hardcore.
If you learned to read and speak Japanese so you could understand imports, you might be hardcore.
If you imported the europeian version of Metroid Prime because it had slightly sharper graphics, you might be hardcore.
If you lied awake at night because you thought FFXI was the last FF, you might be hardcore.
If you have ever started to play an online game and suddenly it's two days later, you might be hardcore.
If you can tell someone the history of the 3 Zelda goddesses exactly as the Great Deku Tree did, you might be hardcore.
If you search the internet daily for remixes of Mario songs, you might be hardcore.
If you have posted yet another Halo 2 thread just so losers could chew you out about it, you're a freak.
If you actually read all these 200 plus jokes and got to this, the last one (as of the time I’m posting this), you’re definatly hardcore! Now go play games, you must be getting withdrawal sysptoms by now.
