Trust me...
ElfTech957 - Says he obtained a Vial of Green Liquid from an anonymous sender. He doesn't know what to do with it (thank god). Last post, last paragraph.
ElfTech013 (13... Hehe. Unlucky S.O.B.) - He was killed for classified information that leaked. Not even he was supposed to know what was going on. All his journal entries were "erased," but it is still open to public domain (just has that annoying line). The whole thing.
ElfTech909 - He says nothing. Comments on the new Elfs, but that's about it. The only lead he gives is that they are getting more help for something. Second post.
ElfTech912 - Ah... A great breakthrough. She says that she was kept awake by wierd noise ("maybe cats," she says, but we all know these are grunnies). Second post.
Update on post #4: She says she likes ElfTech126. Also, because of the white furry things, that might be the scratching that she heard.
ElfTech 571 - He tells how angry they are at Jack in the first post and then *BAM,* he says that he saw lights coming from the doors of the sub-basement. This sub-basement is the underground medlab that 247 was talking about. What they were doing? Reviving Santa with G Corp technology. He didn't get caught, and if he did, he wouldn't be alive right now. Third post.
Update on post #5: Now questions about how the suit was rebuilt so fast. He now said the obvious. He says that they already had another suit built and the other one was a prototype. This is all his theories though and none of this has been confirmed.
Elftech404 - Tells how stressed out Mrs. Cluase is. She basically flips out on him. Whole thing.
Update 11/18/05PM at 7:04: Added in his journal that he like the new Larry Pottar Chemistry Set and he's having fun creating potions. Nothing new.
ElfTech247 - In charge of everything. He is the most helpful out of all the elfs (in my opinion). He tells of "shipments" and his assistant, 101, who is loyal and doesn't ask questions. He is also in charge of remaking the Santa mech suit, Research and Developement, Naughty or Nice recon, and manufacturing. He has underlings to do his work for him, so he can make sure the santa suit is "fully equiped." Whole thing.
Update on post #3:
Translation of what LabTech247
Everthing is going according to plan. The Larry Pottar set provided the equipment for chemical reserves. The moon-shoe provided the repairs to the leg units of the suit as well. We can make do without the utility belts, though I am annoyed they are not done. I am not sure how many appearances the backup suit can make since it was never meant for long periods of use. 137 has done well with it. Progress and research go well. We have fused the claws and cannon in place, and can now move on to the study of the vial itself. We already know it has strange properties. Hopefully it will be just what we need.
- I feel sorry for him. He is informative because he gives fact that the virus is in S Corp. He says that ElfTech369 is sleepy looking and pale, the second stage of Zombie Syndrome (ZS). Black goo in the vents could be considered a fact, but it is yet verified what it is. Black crap, the whole thing. ElfTech369, first post, third paragraph.
ElfTech369 - Right away she says she is tired and her eyes hurt. She is definitely paler than holy hell. Insomnia could be another side affect of ZS. Whole thing.
Update on post #4: She commented on the Yetis and the Gattling gun. She has a secret admirer who leaves her chocolate.
ElfTech062 - He knows something and he wants to tell, but someone or something is restricting him.
Update onpost #3: Comments on how much Mrs. Claus goes to R&D (Research and Developement). Also says there must be something big happening.
ElfTech003 - She talks about increased noise, but the thing that worries me the most is the line, "Trampoline soles allow for an upward trajectory of seven to ten feet on concrete, and five to seven on freshly fallen snow. This design ensures hours of comfortable bunny-hopping down sunny fields littered with dandelions or shrapnel." This could mean that she knows war is coming. Shrapnel are pieces of sharp metal brought about by explosives and this term is usually used for war (this is for all the people with a stupid look on their face). Last post, fourth paragraph.
Update on post #7: I really can't explain this one. Anyone have any ideas? The only thing I can get out of this is that it's different and bleaker than the first posts.
ElfTech138 - She says the word that gets repeated: "formaldehyde." She even questions why they carry the chemical in a toy factory. Second post, third paragraph.
ElfTech977 - Doesn't say a thing worthy of conspiracy. Nothing.
Update on post #5: He says something important (finally). He puts list in quotes which is knid of odd unless he was talking in code.
Update on post #6: Uh oh... I think he's either starting to have visions of the future (The Santa Vs. Jack conflict that I'm trying to warn people about) or he's having flashbacks to the Gambino Vs. Von Helson conflict (an event where I had no say in the matter!). He also states that there will be something that will stop this madness and bring the world to peace, then again he could be talking about the tower falling... Hmmm... Write down your theories everybody! It's gonna be a long Christmas that no one will forget! (Unless you're a newb and you weren't here for it...)
ElfTech722 - He comments on ElfTech013's disappearance in his first post, last line. He was the Amazing Elf at Gambino Casino. Nothing else.
Update on post #5: He has been getting some threads and blackmail PMs. This is caused by all those people threatening him. Stop harassing him.
ElfTech126 - This is a redneck elf. He describes a kidnapping in his first post. In his second post, he describes the tight security of S Corp. All his watches were changed because they want no connections to the outside world. NDA is something that popped up, and, as of yet, we cannot find a meaning for this. He also comments about the shipping department and their hiccups. He also writes about the robot arm found in the broken crate. Whole thing.
ElfTech123 - He comments on both shipping accidents. He is way too cheery. It's also creepy how much he looks and acts like LabTech123.
Updates on post #5: Comments on another shipping accident.
ElfTech101 - Another kidnapping. He also talks about ElfTech722 and even calls him the Amazing Elf. Again, the bomb squad trashed another package and that just goes to show you that the security is tight. The Mech arm is said again. And then he finds out that 722 was really the Amazing Elf. And then the "Super Drencher 5000" (really a gattling gun) fell out of the crate. Whole thing.
Update on post #12: Says something about "Dinanthropoides Nivalis" which, to my knowledge, is a cyrptid animal (never confirmed by a diognaostic or recorded test) and it is stated on his insurance forms. This animal that he talks about is a bigfoot like animal. Also says something about a plutopian belt, which the "cute girl" was working on, but she wasn't at her desk. I'm thinking 369.
MAJOR UPDATE (Still #12): This is a mistake on my part... I just now realized the animals he was talking about were the yetis and the shipment of them. Sorry I was a bit late on that one...
sweatdrop
ElfTech403 - The silicon wafer she is describing is a microchip. She comments about the shipping accident and then says a theory about grunnies. She says if you only breed smart grunnies, you can get a grunny capable of self realization. Hmmm... Bananas... The microchip thing is in the whole thing, while the grunny thing is in the sixth post.
ElfTech137 - He is deep within S Corp and probably hears ALOT of things. In his first post, he says that the elves are really highstrung and worried. In the second post, he says that he works in secretive areas of the compound and has finished alot of work. In the third post, he says that they are reciving parts for R&D and everything is piecing together. He then says how much automated gun technology has advanced over the years. Whole thing.
ElfTech319 - He finally writes, but only says he was busy. *Yawn*
