It's EI time again, friends! This week, we've got the terrifying finale of
The Nightmare, plus more high-stakes excitement from the
Hidden Ace. Have a look!
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Read on for the full report, in which Timmy tries to rid himself of Old Pete...
Timmy: Hi, everyone! It's your old pal Timmy with another Evolving Item Report... I'm still on the road tryin' to find some kinda spiritual enlightenment, and lemme tell ya, it hasn't been goin' too well so far... I swear I passed the same bus station two days in a row, and I'm startin' to get the feeling Pete is just kinda leadin' me in circles. I'm thinkin' it might be time for us to go our separate ways-- what do you say to that, Pete?
Timmy: You'll have to excuse Old Pete-- he just drank a bulk-sized tin of brass polish and he's been kinda stumblin' around and sayin' words that aren't really words for the past few hours.
Timmy: ...Jeepers, Pete! I don't even know how you said that one, bein' as how it seems like that combination of consonants would be unpronounceable! Do another one!
Timmy: Golly, that's incredible! They should give you a TV show of your own or somethin' where you just drink toxic chemicals and say words that can't be spoken without movin' your tongue in the fourth dimension.
Timmy: I think that one's a real word, Pete, but I appreciate the effort. Anywho, folks, we'd better get on with the show, since we've got a real special thing to report:
The Nightmare is reachin' its final evolution this week! This thing has been a real thrill-ride of scares, and I gotta admit that I've often been too afraid to go to the bathroom at night since I started reportin' on this thing, which has led to some real unpleasant situations.
Old Pete: Got bathroom problems myself, Tommy.
Timmy: Hey, looks like Pete's lucid again. Run out of brass polish, buddy? So, yeah, we've also got a new update to the
Hidden Ace, which is still in its earlier stages of evolvin', so the sky's really the limit on this one-- who knows where it's gonna take us?
Old Pete: My shoes got arrested.
Timmy: That's... terrible? I guess that's it for this week, folks, but remember to stop by and vote in our
evolving item poll so you can let us know which ones you like best. And, uh, back to what I was sayin' before: Pete, I think you've been hangin' around long enough, and maybe it's time we parted ways so I can do my spiritual journey in solitude, OK?
Timmy: Y'see, Old Pete, I've appreciated all your guidance and everything, but I'm thinkin' I haven't really made any spiritual progress while you've been around, so maybe I should do this alone. That alright with you, Pete?
Old Pete: Nuh uh. Pete's gonna keep follerin' you around forever.
Timmy: Well... hmm... this is awkward.
Old Pete: Swig of the ol' brass polish gonna melt all that awkwardness away... yer want some? Jbprf.
Timmy: No thanks, Pete.
