Welcome to Gaia! ::

This week, the much-anticipated beginning of The Case of Pietro, complete with an illustration from the artist. Also, another descent into The Nightmare and a tremendous finale for the Kottan Bell!



You can grab all these lovely EIs and many more in the Gaia Cash Shop!





Read on for the full report, featuring a very special guest: the legendary Crazy Murderer Keith!




Timmy: Oh, uh. Hi, ever'body. The prison's kinda on lockdown right now-- I guess some people have been gettin' stabbed-- so the Doc can't make it in and the EI Report camera crew can't get out.

Crazy Murderer Keith: Say, Tim, I always wanted to be on the TV. Mind if I join ya?

Timmy: Yeah, so... I guess it's just gonna be me and my friend... Keith doin' the Report today...

Crazy Murderer Keith: Please, call me Crazy Murderer Keith.

Timmy: Sure thing, Crazy... uh, Murderer Keith... so anywho, the Doc had this letter smuggled in to tell me what's goin' on this week so I can do the show. Here goes:

Dear Timmy,

Hope things are going well in the hoosegow, little buddy. Keep your nose clean in there, and remember: no joining racist gangs! You're better than that!

Crazy Murderer Keith: Aww, what a sweet lady.

Timmy: She's a real gem! OK, there's more:

As for this week's items, we've got three beautiful evolutions, including one great finale. First up, the first evolution to one of our newer items, the mysterious Case of Pietro! This week, it seems that there's been a close encounter between a detective and a sophisticated thief. Please see the attached illustration from the item's creator:

Timmy: Yeah, Doc, it is pretty stylish! Oh, she can't hear me...

Don't worry, Timmy; I can't hear you, but you're so predictable that I know what you're thinking anyway. Next up, some big news: it's time for the breathtaking finale of the Kottan Bell! It's going out with a bang-- a lovely burst of summery color and a visit from a gorgeous faerie. ...Oh, and stand up straight, Timmy! I know you're slouching!

Timmy: Whoops!

Last up, we move into some truly creepy territory with the newest update to The Nightmare-- this item is passed off between different artists for each update, and this week we're lucky enough to get a glimpse into the twisted mind of L0cke, artist of the Death Whisper-- you know he's got some creepy ideas rattling around in that brain of his!

Crazy Murderer Keith: He sounds like my kinda guy. Maybe I'll get to meet him when I get outta here. Meet him and, I dunno, maybe murder him.

Timmy: Uhh... back to the Doc's letter...

That's all for this week, folks! Remember to stop by our poll to vote for your favorite item, and please send your best wishes to Timmy during his difficult ordeal! Oh, and Timmy, one last message for you: remember to stay away from Crazy Murderer Keith, because he's probably going to murder you for stealing his jacket. It's not just a nickname, you know-- Keith is literally a crazy murderer. He's an active and engaged murderer who takes great delight in murdering people; there's about a ninety-five-percent chance that he's going to murder you in there.

Bye bye!
XOXO
Dr. Singh

Crazy Murderer Keith: I like this lady. She seems smart. I wonder if she digs crazy murderers.

Timmy: So... uh... you're not gonna murder me for accidentally stealin' your jacket, right Crazy Murderer Keith?

Crazy Murderer Keith: Tim, I'm crazy. If I murdered you for stealin' my coat, that would be a premeditated response to some perceived crime against me, which would not be crazy at all. That would make me a sane murderer. You pickin' up what I'm layin' down, Tim?

Timmy: So you're not gonna kill me?

Crazy Murderer Keith: I didn’t say that, friend. I'm just sayin' if I kill you, it'll be for my own crazy reasons, like I think you're gonna steal my eyeballs or something. You got that?

Timmy: I gotta say, Keith, that makes a lot of sense.

Crazy Murderer Keith: You lookin' at my eyeballs, Tim?

Timmy: Well, folks... looks like I'd better cut this program short, so I'll see you next week. I hope.