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A bountiful EI update this week, featuring new evolutions from fan favorites Fremere's Guard, the Gogh Reed and Nartian Rock, plus some intriguing updates to Lyndexer's Journal and Classilke, two of our hottest new items!



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Read on for the full report, featuring the start of Timmy's transformation into an adult-- and don't miss the excellent new artwork from the creators of the Nartian Rock and Fremere's Guard!



Dr. Singh: Welcome to the Evolving Item Report! As you can see, our friend Edmund is joining us once again to help with Timmy's pubescent predicament. We'll get to that soon-- but first, let's take a look at the items!

Edmund: Since Timmy's a bit indisposed right now, perhaps I'd better assist.

Dr. Singh: Well, thank you, Edmund! That's mighty gentlemanly.

Edmund: Consider it a favor to Timmy. Not to you.

Dr. Singh: Oh, you old grump! Anyway, let's start off in grand style: Fremere's Guard is getting another fantastic update, featuring a bunch of glorious garments and interesting accessories: a flowing skirt, a belted corset, an imposing shield and a rather crowded party. Once again, we've got some lovely artwork from the item's creator:



Dr. Singh: Meanwhile, the Nartian Rock is back with another update this week, though goodness knows what's happened to that inscrutable little Kink! Here's a comic to shed some light on the situation:

Edmund: Ah, these new poses remind me of my youth, when my leather-jacketed rocker gang would descend by the thousands upon some little seaside resort town and get in a riotous brawl with local mods... you wouldn't know it to look at me now, but I could swing a mean bicycle chain back then.

Dr. Singh: That sounds almost exactly like my wild youth... I never knew we had so much in common, Edmund!

Edmund: Don't let it go to your head.

Dr. Singh: In the realm of newer items, Lyndexer's Journal's second update is coming around today-- this time, our classic hero has begun his formative scouting years. The lovely Classilke is seeing its very first evolution, featuring beautiful crochet work that's sure to be a great inspiration for all the crafty types out there. It'll be lovely to see what this little creature spins in the future...

Edmund: Quite lovely indeed. As a purveyor of fine tailored goods, I can authoritatively state that these are garments of unsurpassed quality.

Dr. Singh: Last up, the Gogh Reed! A while back, we mentioned that the Reed will be in the capable hands of some guest artists for the next few evolutions-- this time around, the Nartian Rock's artist will be pulling double-duty with a cute new Gogh Reed update. That's it for this week, folks-- as always, you can head over to our poll to vote for your favorite item of the week! Goodnight, everyone!

Edmund: Aren't you forgetting something?

Dr. Singh: Oh! Timmy. Yeah, whenever the little fellow wanders out of my view for a few minutes, I completely forget he exists. Guess I'm not much for this whole legal guardianship thing, huh?

Edmund: That's the understatement of the century, Dr. Singh. Tell me, what sort of a negligent monster placed Timmy under your care, anyway?

Dr. Singh: Oh, that's a long story. But anyway, here's what's up, ladies and gents: last week, Timmy reached out to the Gaian public to help him decide whether to skip to adulthood or stay a child forever. The people have spoken, and the result is clear: you want to see Timmy as an adult. So, true to our word, we're going to make it happen. You might notice this big, weird machine behind us. Care to tell us a little about it, Edmund?

Edmund: This is just a little prototype I threw together back in my G-Corp days; it accelerates the process of puberty to a matter of hours. As we speak, Timmy is inside that machine having his entire bodily structure advanced into adulthood.

Dr. Singh: That's amazing! What's the machine called?

Edmund: It's called... err... the PubeCellerator.

Dr. Singh: PubeCellerator!? What an extremely unfortunate name!

Edmund: Yes, G-Corp's copywriters came up with that one... they always were rather terrible at naming things, to be honest. But anyway, the thing never made it to market due to its exceedingly limited usefulness, but I'm certainly glad we have one today.

Dr. Singh: So, by next week's show, Timmy will be an adult? That's incredible.

Edmund: Yes, I'm sure we're all quite curious to see what he'll look like as a grown man-- keep in mind, though, that his mind will still be that of a child.

Dr. Singh: Well, let's face it, Edmund: he's never been a particularly attractive child, so my hopes aren't too high in the looks department.

Edmund: Well, you never know! I was voted "ugliest boy in town" three years running when I was a child, and I grew up just fine. You never can tell what a person will look like... I guess we'll have to wait and see!