Welcome to Gaia! ::

In the news this week:

• New evolutions for Death Whisper, Inari's Beads, and Kelp o'th Loch
  
• Alruna's Rose and Furugasa leave the shop on September 2nd
  
• In the face of tragedy, Dr. Singh struggles to remain undercover in the Smooth Jazz Lifestyle!

Timmy: OK, babe, let's get this moving. Do your science thing.

Dr. Singh: Hi, everyone! Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, your source for the latest news on Gaia's hottest items. Looks like "T-Bone" is trying to move this along as quickly as possible, so let's get right to the updates! Four items are evolving this week: first, Inari's Beads are really coming along; this item is shaping up to be one of my personal favorites, and judging by last week's evolving item poll, a lot of you agree! The Death Whisper is growing more and more gruesome all the time... I don't know if I can stand to look at it this week, but all the black-clad fans of the morbid and macabre are going to love this evolution.

Lastly, the Kelp O'th Loch is escalating its rise from the treacherous deep! Any ideas what this will turn into, Timmy?

Timmy: What? Hush, babe, I'm on a call with my supplier while simultaneously pondering the work of smooth jazz luminary Cassius LaFontaine, and I can only do two things at once.

Dr. Singh: rolleyes Anyway, you can pick up these excellent evolving items (and many more!) in the Gaia Cash Shop! Don't forget that we're still offering the first generations of two new items: Gimpi and Dander. First-gen items seem to do very nicely in the Marketplace, so invest while you can!

Timmy: "Buy low, sell high." That's a little phrase I invented to describe my method of business, ladies and gents, and you'd do well to remember it.

Dr. Singh: Go visit Flynn to check out the selection! Beware, though: you'll probably have to fight your way through mobs of customers trying to snap up the limited stock of zOMG Rumble Boxes. And don't forget: there's only a few days left to pick up Alruna's Rose and Furugasa, two of our finest items!




Dr. Singh: So, now that we've done the "science junk," are we ready for this week's Smooth Jazz Countdown, T-Bone? I've been brushing up on the charts, and I think I'm ready to really blow it out of the water this week!

Timmy: I thought you were cool, babe.

Labtech Gene: How could you be so insensitive at a time like this?

Timmy: You just stepped way over the line. I feel like I don't even know you.

Dr. Singh: What? What did I do? I just want to celebrate the Smooth Jazz Lifestyle!


Labtech Gene: Celebrate!? Hold me, T-Bone, I think I'm going to get emotional-- *gulk*

Timmy: Look what you did! You made Large G emotional!

Dr. Singh: I don't understand...

Timmy: Listen, sugar: if you knew anything about the Smooth Jazz Lifestyle, you'd know that today is not a week for celebration. I'm embarrassed that I even have to tell you this, but Smooth Jazz pioneer Cassius LaFontaine... he... sorry, gettin' choked up here... *gulk*

Labtech Gene: You insensitive devil-woman! You made T-Bone emotional! T-Bone has no emotions!


Dr. Singh: I'm sorry, guys, I didn't know... can someone just tell me what's going on?

Timmy: He... he fell down... an elevator shaft! Lo, it is too much to bear...

Labtech Gene: Cassius LaFontaine, our hero, the man who did so much to dispel the hurtful "elevator music" stereotype, was killed by... killed by the very thing that... *gulk*

Dr. Singh: Oh, dear, that's terrible... and maybe very ironic, but I could never quite get a grasp on how irony works. Er... somehow, despite my, great love for smooth jazz, I hadn't heard about that.

Timmy: Maybe you heard, but you were so emotional over it that your brain simply couldn't process the information. We all mourn in different ways, babe. If you need somebody to comfort you with a box of wine and a relaxing candlelit shoulder massage, you just let me know.

Dr. Singh: Maybe next week, T-Bone. I'm afraid my female emotions have made me too distraught for that kind of thing. I'm sure you understand. I guess we're not doing the countdown this week due to the terrible Cassius LaFontaine tragedy. If you can still type through all your grief, please swing by the weekly weekly poll thread. and vote for your favorite. Goodnight, everyone!