I Refute Berkeley Thus
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Sun, 04 Mar 2012 07:38:31 +0000
I've been a lucid dreamer for years.
Time was, when I would get pins and needles the moment I realized I was lucid - I would be overjoyed, and would immediately start flying, blowing up buildings, changing the colors of objects, having sex with strangers, yelling at people, and so on.
But lately, my desire to lucid dream has become less wish fulfillment and more curious. These sorts of fantasies don't interest me anymore. Even if I could fly and blow up buildings in real life, I wouldn't bother. Why is that exciting? Why should I treat it as if it were? Instead, I have treated my dreams sort of as a philosophical training ground - when my imagination is more powerful, I can more easily mingle with the structures of my experience. Waking life is "oppressive" in this regard, and the imagination is impotent - it is difficult to use fantastical variations to draw out the structures of experience, and the findings are vague and often not repeatable. In doing these investigations, I have lost faith in almost all commonsense notions of time, causation, categories such as "identity" and "existence," and so on. They simply don't hold up to scrutiny - these findings are in no way mystical; in fact, they're rather boring.
However, lately I have become discontent with this mode of research as well. It has dawned on me that what I was searching for - a way to categorize and understand reality - is a nonsensical endeavor. I see now that truth is a function of interpretive power, or the depth with which the world can be manipulated successfully. I'm not sure what else to look for, or what it would mean to find answers more "correct" than present ones. If truth is not something that is discovered, but forcefully made, that means that what one "searches for" is not a matter of uncovering hidden depths, but laying new paths down.
But this raises a new problem, now - there aren't any paths that I want to lay down. There isn't really in particular anything I want to do. My needs are satisfied; my curiosity is satisfied; the wildest fantasies are not appealing. This is not a rejection of the world - I don't find the position absurd or disgusting or in any way profound. It's just that for the first time, I find myself asking the question, "What Do I Do?" Not how do I achieve the goals I have for myself, or which kinds of things make me happiest, or what is best, but just, what is there to do? I could become a god, and be none the better for it.
So I come to you, wise denizens of M&R. What do you do for answers when you come up against the question, "What Do I Do?" Not in regard to any dilemma at all, but just the general question. Assuming that your every satisfaction has been fulfilled (as I believe mine to have been, for the moment), what is it that you would want most, and why? Why do you want it? Why would you do it?
I was thinking that, having satisfied myself totally, I should move on to trying to help someone else. I have always been a selfish and insular person, but now that I don't have any more needs I want to satisfy, maybe someone else who does would appreciate my help? But I don't really have any special talents - so who would I be able to help, even if I wanted to? How do you guys help people?
Time was, when I would get pins and needles the moment I realized I was lucid - I would be overjoyed, and would immediately start flying, blowing up buildings, changing the colors of objects, having sex with strangers, yelling at people, and so on.
But lately, my desire to lucid dream has become less wish fulfillment and more curious. These sorts of fantasies don't interest me anymore. Even if I could fly and blow up buildings in real life, I wouldn't bother. Why is that exciting? Why should I treat it as if it were? Instead, I have treated my dreams sort of as a philosophical training ground - when my imagination is more powerful, I can more easily mingle with the structures of my experience. Waking life is "oppressive" in this regard, and the imagination is impotent - it is difficult to use fantastical variations to draw out the structures of experience, and the findings are vague and often not repeatable. In doing these investigations, I have lost faith in almost all commonsense notions of time, causation, categories such as "identity" and "existence," and so on. They simply don't hold up to scrutiny - these findings are in no way mystical; in fact, they're rather boring.
However, lately I have become discontent with this mode of research as well. It has dawned on me that what I was searching for - a way to categorize and understand reality - is a nonsensical endeavor. I see now that truth is a function of interpretive power, or the depth with which the world can be manipulated successfully. I'm not sure what else to look for, or what it would mean to find answers more "correct" than present ones. If truth is not something that is discovered, but forcefully made, that means that what one "searches for" is not a matter of uncovering hidden depths, but laying new paths down.
But this raises a new problem, now - there aren't any paths that I want to lay down. There isn't really in particular anything I want to do. My needs are satisfied; my curiosity is satisfied; the wildest fantasies are not appealing. This is not a rejection of the world - I don't find the position absurd or disgusting or in any way profound. It's just that for the first time, I find myself asking the question, "What Do I Do?" Not how do I achieve the goals I have for myself, or which kinds of things make me happiest, or what is best, but just, what is there to do? I could become a god, and be none the better for it.
So I come to you, wise denizens of M&R. What do you do for answers when you come up against the question, "What Do I Do?" Not in regard to any dilemma at all, but just the general question. Assuming that your every satisfaction has been fulfilled (as I believe mine to have been, for the moment), what is it that you would want most, and why? Why do you want it? Why would you do it?
I was thinking that, having satisfied myself totally, I should move on to trying to help someone else. I have always been a selfish and insular person, but now that I don't have any more needs I want to satisfy, maybe someone else who does would appreciate my help? But I don't really have any special talents - so who would I be able to help, even if I wanted to? How do you guys help people?