~ @ ~ Kids Corner - A thread for parents ~ @ ~ >>new poll<<

My favorite 'extra' baby item was....

Bumbo	8.7%	[ 6 ]
Car bottle warmer	1.4%	[ 1 ]
Wipes warmer	2.9%	[ 2 ]
Boppy/nursing pillow	18.8%	[ 13 ]
Bottle steamer/disinfecter	2.9%	[ 2 ]
Bassinet	7.2%	[ 5 ]
Diaper caddy/changing table	1.4%	[ 1 ]
Video monitor	4.3%	[ 3 ]
Other (please share!)	14.5%	[ 10 ]
...gold....	37.7%	[ 26 ]
Total Votes:			[ 69 ]

This poll closed on July 9, 2013.
No longer accepting new votes.

[16James16]

Soraanki

Nick Madison 1978

He is having a difficult time in the second grade, and he is in the danger of having to repeat the grade. The issue is him doing his homework, he apparently hit his English homework book so he did not have to do it and he is behind. His mother and I are divorced and here are some issues that I have had with her and I feel she is contributing to the issues.

It is a struggle to get my son to do his homework and he gets mouthy. When he gets rude, or uses profanity I put pot sauce in his mouth. I have used the belt on him. When my ex found out she contacted CPS and they told me that hot sauce and using the belt was unacceptable punishment. But I am on my last straw. Basically if I discipline my son this way they can take him from me. He is also being influenced by an older boy(16) to disobey me he is also influencing two other kids. 8 and 9.

My son just got a DS system for his 8th birthday and I put the power on full waiting for the power to run out because that is one thing that distracts him.

He is way behind and I have set up a schedule for him. Where he comes home from school and does his homework to catch up until his bedtime He is two weeks behind, On weekends I want him to eat breakfast, and then do his work until lunch, then eat his lunch and do more homework and then eat supper and do homework until his bedtime. But my wife and I are disagreeing on this. She said that he needs a break, and I am making him work on homework basically for three to five hours straight, basically his own fault. It took two weeks for me to find his English workbook and he is two weks behind. Curently doing the work he was to do on April 19th. The issue is when I try to discipline him as I see fit my ex called CPS and they told me I cannot use my methods of discipline.

Where do I begin?

First: Corporal punishment has been shown to have detrimental effects to a childs physical and mental well being. You are not disciplining, you are abusing. Using the belt...what an archaic form of physical abuse. Shame on you.

I'm a teacher at an elementary school. You are most definitely being to hard on him. Children do not respond to constant work. They need breaks or they will not absorb information. Do you ever wonder why he might be hiding his books? Is he not understanding the material? You say that he gets distracted...but maybe he's not understanding, and he is getting discouraged. You and your ex need to be involved, talk to the teachers, ask what you can do to help him. Shoving him in front of books, beating the snot out of him, and putting hot sauce in his mouth are NOT going to help, and you should be ashamed. He is 8, not 20, and should be allowed to make mistakes. You should be guiding him, and I hope they take your kid away if you are leaving marks. There are other, proven methods of discipline that work better than what you are doing. You shouldn't want your son to fear you....because then he will rebel.

Limit TV time and DS time to an hour a day, give him a half hour break for every hour of work, and be a PARENT, not a drill Sargent.

Why do you think he's going to the 16 year old? His fathers abusing him and he's looking for a male who he can trust. This is a crucial time for a boy. He can't trust you, I wouldn't, and you seriously need to think about the consequences that your actions are having on the boy.

I have to agree with you on that one. He is just causing fear in his child. I have two siblings, for some reason I was always the one that got hit. My older brother was supposedly the perfect child. I was blamed for everything that he did wrong. Anyways when I was younger I used to fear my own mother. If I brushed my teeth and she was not satisfied she would check and slap me. She would slap me so often that I feared her. So sometimes I would flinch out of habit so even if I did nothing wrong she would hit me because I expected to be hit. She said you expect to be hit so she just hit me for no reason. My younger brother got hit to some extent. I remember one day my older brother(the perfect one) hit me so hard that he left a bruise on my arm. I told her and she said I provoked him. Every time she saw the bruise on my arm she said she would give me a bruise on the other arm to match the one he gave me because I must have done something real awful to make him hit me that hard. I got help for myself and younger brother and we were taken out of that environment and now live with a loving family.

This was not the worst part, the worst part was she also kept calling me stupid, and idiot, and all sort of things that still hurt me today. I hope that after the visit from the police or whatever CPS is that he listens to them and treats his son better.

[Fated Glitch]

Soraanki

Denigami

Soraanki

Denigami

When I talk to the teacher directly what they describe are tantrums, but for some reason they write down meltdowns on paper. And at home he throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way, but he never had a form of a meltdown.
We actually did see a councilor due to an incident a few months ago, and was told he was happy and healthy, just temperamental and energetic.

It's good that you are taking proper steps.

If they are tantrums, then here is my advice.

I would start him on a strict schedule. Doing things the same way every day is comforting for children. Part of this schedule has to be some form of physical something. Exhaust him. When boys are energetic, they need an outlet. At six, a sport might help....soccer or football or something that he can constructively get his anger out on or his energy out on.

Also look at his diet. Limit Juices, Poptarts, chocolate milks, and things that have sugars. My step daughter was similar with tantrums and energy, and we found it was diet related. We have nixed almost all of the artificial sugars from her diet, and we have seen a profound change in her attitude.

12 grams of sugar for a child is what is recommended. One single poptart has 16 grams of added sugar...just for an example...

Cruddy crud should of thought of the pop-tart. -face Palm-
He's not much of a sweets kid, but it's rare he wants one. He had a half a pop tart this morning.I'll keep in mind. We found out his attitude tends to change when he drinks milk, 2 percent and vitamin d both do it,he still gets some milk, but i have limited it to snack time and half a cup, till I can find a better supplement. My younger sister was cut off from milk for a time when we were kids, and it weakened her bones, so I'm trying to not be in that same area with my eldest.

Weird thing though is when he drinks a half cup to a third of soda he's revitively calm so I might be seeing a dietician to see what's up.

been keeping a journal to figure out how he acts.

Yup! Keep doing what you are doing, eventually something will lead you to your answers. He might be lactose intolerant. Silk is a very good supplement, dairy, soy free, with added calcium...and much less sugar.

Keep doing what you are doing, you are doing a good job!

I try, the hardest part when there is actual misbehavior. It's hard because it seems to loose its affectiveness after a while.
And I even combo some of the punishments for my six year old. -time outs etc.
He's no problem at home, but the school, somethings up. I've tried talking to them. I got family working in the school so I'd know if something was up.
Father in law really made me worry. He told me if its not our home, and our discipline is fine. Then it's something up at the school. :/

[thegodfather1989]

Only Gray

I don't know what's more sad.

That this can be considered a lifestyle, or that people will eventually post in it.

Well we can discuss how to raise children here, but if Gaia made a parents forum you would have no issue. But raising kids can be considered a life issue.

[thegodfather1989]

I am new to this forum, and I am the father of five kids.

Aaron 6
Peter 4
Nicholas 3
Cindy 3
Zachary 6 months