Religious Help For The Homosexual Girl?

[Just Call Me E]

Alright, so here's the deal. I'm lesbian. What does this have to do with religion? Everything.
My parents have been raising me as a Catholic all my life and I only just realized my sexuality. I know that the Catholic church disproves of gays and it has always gotten on my nerves, but know that I know I am one of them, I don't want to be in a religion that doesn't accept me for who I am!

I'm sure my parents won't mind my sexuality because they always say, “it's okay if you are homosexual.” but I think they still want me to be a Catholic. I've talked to them before about not becoming one because I never really believed in it in the first place but there is something in the way. My grandparents. They are very religious and want be to be confirmed even if my parents are not that big Catholics.

I'm not sure how they will take it when I tell them that I don't want to be confirmed and become a full Catholic. I'm not even sure my parents would let me not do that! But I want to try. I want to be in control of my own life. What should I do? How can I explain to them that I don't want to be a part of the religion that is a big part in there life? Should I just try and suck it up?

Please help because I just don't know anymore...

[legnanellaf5]

There is nothing they can do to make you believe in a god. Whie doing things like going to chruch and getting comfirmed will make THEM feel better, it will never make you a catholic. You have to have faith for that. So if it is a big part of their life it is likely better to do them such favours while you are living with them. When you are on your own you can make wahtever religious choices then.

[On Your Six]

I'm inclined to agree with Legion. I didn't get confirmed, and it upset my entire family (the word 'heretic' was used...), but I explained that I wasn't sure about my faith, and I didn't want to lie to the entire church. I wanted to take the ceremony of becoming 'one with the church' seriously, not just do it to please them.

And that's really what Confirmation is; they say it's about confirming your faith in God and rejecting Satan, but you can do that on your own terms, in your own words. I truly got the impression (and maybe this was just my church) that it was just another rite that was expected, and that it was to welcome you into the church. Recognize you as an adult, allow you to get married in the church, etc.

/random rant

...I also had an issue with the fact that they insisted I had to have a female patron saint, and all of them were basically martyred for being chaste, so, not seeing too much reason to admire them. I wanted St. Raphael the Archangel, patron of healers and marriage... emotion_kirakira

"But he's a man; and you're a girl!" ....angels don't have genders, that's just a depiction in art, most of them were balls of light or wheels of flame or.. emotion_donotwant

[a1xcvbnmGOODBYE]

i was in the same position as you, i didn't want to be confirmed either.
it wasn't until my mom bought me this big a** book on the pope that i just gave in.
i mean it really doesn't mean anything unless you decide to continue in the faith and remain a catholic.
i was confirmed and i don't think it meant anything. just a church ceremony with a silly outfit and my mom being all proud of me.
whatever~

honestly i'd say just go through with it to make them happy. that's what i did v.v no issues here. i ain't catholic. try not to put too much meaning behind it, you'll be fine.

[vdszbz]

There are churches that except LGBT+ people. Maybe you and your family can find one?

No one can make you do confirmation. My parents tried the same with me but I dropped out of CCD. I just told them this is not what I want and I'm not religious. My parents aren't crazy religious but my grandmother was. Then the whole family turned Christian a few years later so no one cared. Lucky break I guess.

[Spirit Reborn]

God loves you, luv.

The only thing He does not approve of is the act of participating in homosexual activity (intercourse of the same gender). He still loves you, just not the sin. Just wanted to let you know that He still loves you.

[Just Call Me E]

Spirit Reborn

God loves you, luv.

The only thing He does not approve of is the act of participating in homosexual activity (intercourse of the same gender). He still loves you, just not the sin. Just wanted to let you know that He still loves you.

So why doesn't he accept me for who I am? That's just why I don't want to go through with it. What is wrong with homosexual activity? It's not like murder.

[Revolutionary Rhapsody]

My parents forced me to confirm into Catholicism despite my practically writing essays about how I didn't want to do it and refused and didn't want to follow the Catholic faith at all, which I found absolute utter bullshit. I sort of wish I had bitched about it to the Sunday School teachers because then maybe they wouldn't have let me confirm anyway. But honestly, the way I live I don't consider myself confirmed nor having any existing ties to Catholicism or that faith, even if their books may have me listed somewhere as one of them.

Don't let the church scare you, if you want to be Christian and have those beliefs and faiths that's your deal. Religion and faith is a personal thing and a personal relationship between yourself and those beliefs and regardless of their bs and say-sos and nay-says, they can't touch you. Those people don't have a 2-way radio with the Christian god telling them exactly what s/he thinks. They just like to pretend.

From the important pieces of Christianity that are still around and practiced, their God is a loving and forgiving force. Just put it in perspective: if you met Jesus on a park bench, do you think he'd care that you found love with a person of the same sex that made you happy and fulfilled and complete?

There is nothing ******** wrong with homosexuality. Hell, even animals and birds have been seen to have homosexual activity for pleasure and relationships. It's not even uncommon for male swans to partner up and swans partner for life. Female swans will sneak into their territory to lay eggs and run off and the two male swans will raise the cygnets as well. Two male creatures made by god hump each others' feathery backsides and raise babies together. I doubt the swans are under the devil's influence.

God and the Holy Trinity have bigger problems than who people are boning and the sooner you put the value and faith in yourself that you are as you were made, you'll be fine.

[On Your Six]

Just Call Me E

Spirit Reborn

God loves you, luv.

The only thing He does not approve of is the act of participating in homosexual activity (intercourse of the same gender). He still loves you, just not the sin. Just wanted to let you know that He still loves you.

So why doesn't he accept me for who I am? That's just why I don't want to go through with it. What is wrong with homosexual activity? It's not like murder.

the church actually used to 'marry' (read: more of a blessed union, consider how the church actually viewed marriages...) homosexual monks in the medieval ages.

And to my knowledge the church never actually said anything on females with females, only the
1) don't rape male prisoners like a jerk ('man shall not lie with man...') because that' too degrading
2) Paul's opinions, but that thing against homosexuality (which it never says because that phrase wasn't coined until the late 19th century by Freud) and fornication was more against condemning others.

It's not God that has an issue with you; it's the church and the people within it. God loves you. As you are. As he created you.

[geminikitten]

Catholics are fairly strict. Can you not get them to compromise with churches that are gay-friendly?

If not what you do really depends based on what you know about your family.

1. Suck up to them if you're still financially attached to them and they support you if you think there's a possibility they'll throw you out. You'll have to build yourself up so you can be independent completely from them then do what you want. No one can force you to accept a religion. There's no point in that. You'll just have to put on a farce until then.

2. Reject it even if it angers them if you think they'll keep you since you're still family.

[On Your Six]

I found this; you might like it

[Kaori242]

A forced belief only brews resentment.

I'm of the persuasion that God loves you, regardless of sexual orientation. If it's a huge deal to your family, you've just got to weigh lying to make them happy versus telling the truth to make yourself happy. No one's qualified to make that call except you. G'luck, dear.

[Rielah]

i'm not catholic but i have been in a similar situation.

when i was 17 my parents, my dad especially, insisted that i get baptised to show my dedication to god and to christianity. i didn't have a problem showing my faith but i wanted to do it on MY terms, when i personally felt that i was ready to do so. when i was 17 i didn't feel it was the right time. my life was really screwed up.

i defied my parents and i also defied the pastor and other church leaders. i think it was shocking for them, they made it seem like i was doing a horrible scandalous thing by WAITING until i felt the time was right for me. i got baptised two years later and guess what? i've never regretted it because i did it in my own time and on my own terms. it was purely MY decision and knowing that really makes me happy even though i don't follow the religion that closely anymore. my point is, i think this is a huge decision on your part. you need to be okay with it, and if you're not, you should not allow anyone to force you. do it/or not on your terms so that you can be happy ^^

[Inscriven]

Just Call Me E

Spirit Reborn

God loves you, luv.

The only thing He does not approve of is the act of participating in homosexual activity (intercourse of the same gender). He still loves you, just not the sin. Just wanted to let you know that He still loves you.

So why doesn't he accept me for who I am? That's just why I don't want to go through with it. What is wrong with homosexual activity? It's not like murder.

From the catholic perspective, sexual activity is reserved for a man and a woman who are married, for the purposes of making children and fostering intimacy, anything outside of that framework (divorced, never married, homosexual) is seen as abusing that gift from God and is considered a mortal sin. Catholics seem to be a hell of a lot more tolerant of it than conservative protestants are, you are loved as you are, as flawed as you are, they just expect you to never act on your sexual urges -- as oppose to say Evangelicals who would treat you like the anti-christ and shun you because of who you are.

But in reality Catholics commit mortal sins all the time. Rather frequently really. So it's not like you'd be alone in frequently breaking the rules. Missing mass is a mortal sin too. But if you don't want to go through the Catechism classes then nobody at all can force you. The church will refuse to confirm you if you do not fully desire to do it. On the other hand, you really could just go through the motions and get it done and over with, and continue living your life had it not happened like millions of other not so devotional catholics do. I mean, because you're a child born of catholic parents you are bound to Catholic law whether you like it or not, so you might as well get the perks.

[sorrowfulmaiden]

do what you want, don't let people dictate your life.
enjoy your life as much as you can.
after all....you live only once.