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Should I testify?

YES! 0.88785046728972 88.8% [ 95 ]
Nah. 0.0093457943925234 0.9% [ 1 ]
Not sure. 0.018691588785047 1.9% [ 2 ]
I'm just a gold digger. 0.08411214953271 8.4% [ 9 ]
Total Votes:[ 107 ]
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Isis Sister Of Osiris's avatar

Lonely Girl

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Long story short: Beginning when I'd just turned 12 my cousin "Tony" (22 at the time) used me for sex for about two years. When my family found out they slut-shamed me instead of prosecuting him because they didn't want it to come out and make them look bad.

Timeskip to the 2011 winter holidays, in Florida. Two of my other cousins and I compare stories and find out I was the first and youngest of his victims - and he's grooming another cousin. I left a couple of notarized copies of an affidavit telling what he did to me and when, so I wouldn't have to go back to Florida.

Fast forward to this afternoon. One of my cousins called me to tell me Tony got busted and will be facing charges. She's not sure if the affidavit will be enough, the attorney she's consulting will find out next week.

The question is, if the affidavit isn't enough, should take the train back south to FL and testify? The other girls' testimony would be enough to convict him of two more counts of statutory rape... they don't really need me there. If I do go, my parents will likely disown me and throw me out of the house. I'm unemployed and living with them, but worst case I might be able to stay at my Grandpa's.

I won't know for sure for several weeks, I think, but I need to be sure of what I'm doing.

Your thoughts, Team L.I.?

EDIT: WHOOPS! I meant 2012, not 2011! The 2011 holidays were also important but for something completely different. I guess that's what happens when you type emotionally instead of rationally?
If you can stay with your grandfather for sure, then absolutely go testify. Your parents are quite frankly AWFUL for slut-shaming you and even considering disowning you if you testify against the man who sexually assaulted you.
Chipl's avatar

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I would testify. If my parents didn't like it, they could kiss my donkey.
I would say find out if you can stay with your grandfather too. If you know you'll have a place to go, it can't hurt to put some extra nails in this guy's coffin, and might help you get closure if you're still seeking it.
Isis Sister Of Osiris's avatar

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I'd like to testify... I'd like to come after Tony with a nail-studded baseball bat even more.

One of the things that worries me is whether I'd have to pay to make the trip. If that's what it takes... I can't go. I have nothing in the way of savings or a car to drive down, and I can't fly.

I think I should start packing my stuff to move out anyway.
I would go testify, maybe ask your grandpa for a little bit of help and support if he isn't like your parents.


Your parents are so wrong in so many levels and really if you go testify that doychebag won't see it coming and gel definetly get convicted and become a registered sex offender hopefully.
Adorable's avatar

Tiny Wife

YES. Testify, you will be saving others from falling victim. And that b*****d will be behind bars.
Why would your parents kick you out if you did?

EDIT:
Sorry I missed a part in your post.
******** your shitty parents. A crime was committed against you and others.
Do you have anyone to stay with?
OishiiiMochi's avatar

Hygienic Sex Symbol

Gigi Deveraux
Long story short: Beginning when I'd just turned 12 my cousin "Tony" (22 at the time) used me for sex for about two years. When my family found out they slut-shamed me instead of prosecuting him because they didn't want it to come out and make them look bad.

Timeskip to the 2011 winter holidays, in Florida. Two of my other cousins and I compare stories and find out I was the first and youngest of his victims - and he's grooming another cousin. I left a couple of notarized copies of an affidavit telling what he did to me and when, so I wouldn't have to go back to Florida.

Fast forward to this afternoon. One of my cousins called me to tell me Tony got busted and will be facing charges. She's not sure if the affidavit will be enough, the attorney she's consulting will find out next week.

The question is, if the affidavit isn't enough, should take the train back south to FL and testify? The other girls' testimony would be enough to convict him of two more counts of statutory rape... they don't really need me there. If I do go, my parents will likely disown me and throw me out of the house. I'm unemployed and living with them, but worst case I might be able to stay at my Grandpa's.

I won't know for sure for several weeks, I think, but I need to be sure of what I'm doing.

Your thoughts, Team L.I.?


I think you should go and testify. Make sure that there will be no way for Tony to go free. Non-consensual sex is never okay, and it is never, ever the victim's fault. If you're parents can't see that, the problem is with them, not you. I'd go confirm with your grandfather to see if you could stay if your parents do take it upon themselves to kick you out, but it shouldn't have to come to that. I'm sure that I don't know enough about you to judge, but it seems to me that if they really kick you out for being a victim and calling out the one who raped you, you're better off without them.
Isis Sister Of Osiris's avatar

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I think you should go and testify. Make sure that there will be no way for Tony to go free. Non-consensual sex is never okay, and it is never, ever the victim's fault. If you're parents can't see that, the problem is with them, not you. I'd go confirm with your grandfather to see if you could stay if your parents do take it upon themselves to kick you out, but it shouldn't have to come to that. I'm sure that I don't know enough about you to judge, but it seems to me that if they really kick you out for being a victim and calling out the one who raped you, you're better off without them.


Yeah, you see, it wasn't non-consensual as much as it was seduction, since he knew I had a crush on him. Statutory rape yes, forced... well, he did get me drunk. On the other hand there is the fact that I went along with it for two years. I only got found out because I thought a yeast infection was an STD and the school nurse told my parents.

My parents are ultra-conservative Catholics of the "women are Satan's instruments" type and kicked my sister out when she got pregnant out of wedlock. I'm sure they would have dumped me on Tony's doorstep if he'd knocked me up.

I stay over and Grandpa's from time to time, especially when he needs help around the house. My half-brother lives there too. I'll talk to them and see what happens, because I want out of this place anyway.
Ealain na Realtai's avatar

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You need to testify.
For the sake of your cousin and yourself.

I know it's hard, and your family may look down upon it, but in the end you'll be protecting your younger loved ones.
He shouldn't go unpunished just because he's family--a monster is a monster and he needs to be put in his cage.
Just surround yourself with people who care about you and are actually there for you during this time and do your best to testify.
Remember, YOU are the victim here, NOT HIM.
{Déan ealaín gach lá agus teacht ar do na réaltaí gach oíche.}
Ealain na Realtai's avatar

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Gigi Deveraux
Zekiamuto
I think you should go and testify. Make sure that there will be no way for Tony to go free. Non-consensual sex is never okay, and it is never, ever the victim's fault. If you're parents can't see that, the problem is with them, not you. I'd go confirm with your grandfather to see if you could stay if your parents do take it upon themselves to kick you out, but it shouldn't have to come to that. I'm sure that I don't know enough about you to judge, but it seems to me that if they really kick you out for being a victim and calling out the one who raped you, you're better off without them.


Yeah, you see, it wasn't non-consensual as much as it was seduction, since he knew I had a crush on him. Statutory rape yes, forced... well, he did get me drunk. On the other hand there is the fact that I went along with it for two years. I only got found out because I thought a yeast infection was an STD and the school nurse told my parents.

My parents are ultra-conservative Catholics of the "women are Satan's instruments" type and kicked my sister out when she got pregnant out of wedlock. I'm sure they would have dumped me on Tony's doorstep if he'd knocked me up.

I stay over and Grandpa's from time to time, especially when he needs help around the house. My half-brother lives there too. I'll talk to them and see what happens, because I want out of this place anyway.
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About the "going along with it", that's still no excuse for his actions, as I'm sure you know.
Statutory rape is still rape, and you only being 12, you probably didn't know what to do.
Sex in general is very sensitive thing, and often people don't know how to take it without experience.
A 12 year old of all people certainly wouldn't know what to do and when alcohol's involved, it's even worse.

The answer is clear, you need to testify.
{Déan ealaín gach lá agus teacht ar do na réaltaí gach oíche.}
Blackrose_Knight's avatar

Devoted Pirate

Testify. The more people who stand up to this cuntfaced raping shithead, the more the jury pays attention.

You can put him away. Do it.
go testify. then go visit violent criminals in the prison he goes to and tell them he's a child molester. he'll probably get stabbed to death.
Delightful_FOOL's avatar

Tipsy Prophet

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go testify. then go visit violent criminals in the prison he goes to and tell them he's a child molester. he'll probably get stabbed to death.

Except, more often than not, those who commit crimes against children get put in their own special area to protect them from the other prisoners. Which is bs. They should be put in general population...

OP: I've been in your shoes. Except, I was the only victim. When it came out, my Dad's side of the family disowned me. All of them. Not. Single one of them believed me. Even after he was convicted and sentenced, they still swore I was lying and that he could never have done something so awful. The names they called me....it's sickening. But, after all that, I'm glad I testified. I'm glad justice was served. And, I'm even glad that those pieces of s**t were kind enough to show themselves out of my life. Even if I did truly care for a few of them and it really really hurt what they did, I'm s much better off knowing that my family--the ones that stayed--truly love me and will be by my side through anything. Those others were not my family. They were people I was for Ed in to contact with because of genetics. I don't need them and my life is so much better, happier, and fulfilling without them. It took me years to reach this point of acceptance, and I hope you find yours as well. Do what you know is right in your heart.

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