Transtastic ||Support for the proud Trans Population||

Remy is back again....

Please don't kill me. D:	13.8%	[ 185 ]
I'll be nice, I promise.	23.2%	[ 310 ]
I'm back for now, we're all good right?	14.2%	[ 190 ]
Wait... What are you doing with that knife?	48.8%	[ 652 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1337 ]

[Catuboduus]

Robot Giny

-Oh, sorry about using the word transvestite. I was told that was the word for crossdressers. ^^;;
.And thanks for the info. =D

[Desideraht]

MarigoldMari

Desideraht

If you want to appear male, I highly recommend taking testosterone. It really is what makes the difference when it comes to an androgynous person's body. I know you have endocrinological issues, that's why you see an endo, and get their opinion on it. It can't hurt to ask. And yes, you may need a hysto for this to work. I have a FtM friend who has the same disorder, but found out AFTER he started testosterone, and he had his ovaries removed, and is all better. He started T and yeah, it became an emergency situation so they removed his ovaries, but they did refuse to do a full hysto.

I do want testosterone. It will just be a very long journey in order to get it. The testosterone that my body was making before I got on the medication that stops it was literally killing me. So forgive me for being a little scared about it. Actually, I may have to get my ovaries removed anyway because of how advanced the disorder is. But first step is the top surgery, I'll focus on that for now.

Top surgery doesn't just solve all my problems like magic. Yes, its major for me, but one has to understand that everyone's situation is different. I've been waiting for top surgery since I was 9 (when I got huge boobs all of sudden). So I am grateful o.O In fact, I'll probably be bawling so much when I wake up and realize the bowling balls are gone for good that the nurses will be like, "why is the person in surgery recovery room 12 crying so damn much?!" I'll be crying for weeks, maybe even months.

I've been working out. My arms are pretty chiseled toned. My legs are pure muscle. That doesn't change squat for me right now. But sure, after I'm on T maybe it will do something, but for me that may not be for years due to medical complications.

My avatar on this website is actually a cosplay. Chill out. I wouldn't dress like it irl. My favorite clothes are from the punk brand Sex Pot Revenge, which is mostly for MEN.

As for Visual Kei artists dressing female and wearing feminine make-up: most feel like you can wear whatever clothes you damn want in this life and f*ck everybody else. That's actually what Visual Kei is about: freedom of expression. Plus, looking feminine in Japanese society is actually desired, which is completely the opposite of here. That's why a lot of them look feminine.

Oh, being scared is perfectly reasonable. I think just about anyone would be in your situation. But yeah, the sooner you express your long-term goals to an endo, the sooner they can start helping you plan out how you will go about doing that. I think this could take a lot of stress off your shoulders. If they say you can't do it, they're wrong. I've known people with your condition who transitioned.

Top surgery does not fix all problems like magic but I won't lie. You come off as pretty ungrateful. A lot would kill to be in your shoes. I just wish you had a little more perspective on that matter, is all. Anyway, try not to cry too hard... or cough. LOL. I've heard a lot recently (since I'm talking to more people about surgery) that you'll be very tender!

That's so interesting that you're toned out and people still think you're a chick. Though dressing feminine will do that. I think testosterone will definitely polish your hard work. And keep working at it, too. Testosterone makes it easier. Working out is more rewarding when you're on T, and you see results faster.

I was just speaking generally, I don't need to chill ot. You're into the whole J-Rocker thing. Half of them dress like maids all the time. I wasn't even thinking about your avi when I said that, lol. I have seen that clothing brand, and I do like a lot of their stuff, but honestly, it is basically what western people would see as women's punk fashion, even if in Japan it's considered men's. You have to understand where you are and how people see things, even if they see it incorrectly. That being said, I dress basically like that already in a lot of ways and I still pass. A lot of it is voice, overall presentation, posture... and testosterone really does polish things, adding some masculine edges and subtly drawing the line between masculine and feminine.

What you said about visual kei: This is precisely why I admire them. heart

[Desideraht]

Nomad Realta

Desideraht

-

Okay, thanks Dan. This helps. I really don't try to offend anybody, but it was starting to get to me a little, that I've pissed off nearly every transsexual person I've talked to at one point or another. That was never my intention, y'know?

I know you don't want to treat us "special" or "cater" to us, but if you don't want to piss us off... tread lightly. Understand that a lot of trans people are very emotionally damaged by their dysphoria, and they can be hypersensitive to ANYTHING that makes them feel misgendered.

[Desideraht]

IN OTHER NEWS.
I FINALLY FEEL BALLSY ENOUGH TO WEAR JEWELRY NOW THAT MY ANKH HAS ARRIVED.



I am so glad I feel masculine enough that I can make jewelry look sexy in a masculine way. Super super happy and confident with how I look lately, for the most part. I actually see a bright future ahead of me in that respect.

On the other hand, I had some serious p***s-related dysphoria last night. I coped by wearing my strap on under my underwear, sticking out the fly, and honestly, it looks like a real erection from across the room in the mirror. Hell, the shadows even made the skin tone look right. The mere sight of seeing my body looking correct was really arousing and [insert more narcissistic autophilic bullshit here], long story short, I got off in a "masculine" way without dysphoria and I'm rather proud of myself, LOL. It was really liberating, too... Usually I just cave in and use vaginal penetration to c** as fast as I can so I can roll over and sleep, and I often feel "ashamed" for some weird ******** reason. I don't really get it, other than the fact that I just wish I could get off the male way so I feel a little bad for not being able to. Well, if you get creative, you can, lol...

[/end TMI] emotion_kirakira

[H l K A S A]

I don't know if I'm as welcome here as I used to be, considering I no longer identify as trans..but rather as genderqueer...but I thought I'd blow off a little steam.
My parents and my friends see me as being not male or female, just as me. There's no problem there.
The REAL issue is how I don't know how to blend my male and female qualities. My wardrobe is almost exclusively female clothing, and I've been getting very angry and embarrassed with myself for not having anything I want to wear on my more masculine days.

I don't know how to buy these things without feeling like everyone is judging me though, and I still don't have a packer or a binder.
I had a binder once, but I outgrew it. I can't work yet at the moment and I'm struggling with my last year of high school (I may end up getting a GED. I didn't want to, but it's heading that way).

I also don't know what to do with my hair. I grew it out for the first time in years. Yes, it's pretty..but I have a hard time with feeling masculine with it. I'm fine when I'm feminine, but on other days..there's not much I can do with it.

If I cut my hair off, i have no idea what cut to go for that's androgynous. Maybe I could get some advice?

[Desideraht]

Mad Biter

I don't know if I'm as welcome here as I used to be, considering I no longer identify as trans..but rather as genderqueer...but I thought I'd blow off a little steam.
My parents and my friends see me as being not male or female, just as me. There's no problem there.
The REAL issue is how I don't know how to blend my male and female qualities. My wardrobe is almost exclusively female clothing, and I've been getting very angry and embarrassed with myself for not having anything I want to wear on my more masculine days.

I don't know how to buy these things without feeling like everyone is judging me though, and I still don't have a packer or a binder.
I had a binder once, but I outgrew it. I can't work yet at the moment and I'm struggling with my last year of high school (I may end up getting a GED. I didn't want to, but it's heading that way).

I also don't know what to do with my hair. I grew it out for the first time in years. Yes, it's pretty..but I have a hard time with feeling masculine with it. I'm fine when I'm feminine, but on other days..there's not much I can do with it.

If I cut my hair off, i have no idea what cut to go for that's androgynous. Maybe I could get some advice?

I don't see why you'd be unwelcome. Do I think it's weird when people go "back"? Yeah, I kinda do. But that's because I could never imagine going back. I don't try to judge. But yeah, this thread welcomes EVERYONE! x)

It's really hard to be in the middle. Most genderqueer females just come off as female to me, to be honest. I hate to admit that, but it's the whole "I'm a boy AND a girl thing!" that is hard for my brain to register. Don't get me wrong. I respect you fully. I acknowledge you as who you are. But when I meet genderqueer people in person, I pretty much always get confused, and embarrassed about my confusion.

Most genderqueer people I know look like hipster dykes. Please... whatever you do... don't. gonk

[Stegsie]

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

Hey, any here ever give a presentation on being trans*? My friend from high school mentioned me to her Gender & Sexuality teacher who is apparently fascinated by my story. (I'm going to pretend it doesn't sound like she's objectifying me or anything, as bad as it sounds.)

I'm supposed to give a presentation but because the school is so far away if they can't get Skype working I have to record a video of 5-10 minutes long. I don't even know how to talk for that long. DX Especially not about myself or my transition, since I'm not very far along at all. But I still want to help educate people.

Halp.

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."

[H l K A S A]

Desideraht

Mad Biter

I don't know if I'm as welcome here as I used to be, considering I no longer identify as trans..but rather as genderqueer...but I thought I'd blow off a little steam.
My parents and my friends see me as being not male or female, just as me. There's no problem there.
The REAL issue is how I don't know how to blend my male and female qualities. My wardrobe is almost exclusively female clothing, and I've been getting very angry and embarrassed with myself for not having anything I want to wear on my more masculine days.

I don't know how to buy these things without feeling like everyone is judging me though, and I still don't have a packer or a binder.
I had a binder once, but I outgrew it. I can't work yet at the moment and I'm struggling with my last year of high school (I may end up getting a GED. I didn't want to, but it's heading that way).

I also don't know what to do with my hair. I grew it out for the first time in years. Yes, it's pretty..but I have a hard time with feeling masculine with it. I'm fine when I'm feminine, but on other days..there's not much I can do with it.

If I cut my hair off, i have no idea what cut to go for that's androgynous. Maybe I could get some advice?

I don't see why you'd be unwelcome. Do I think it's weird when people go "back"? Yeah, I kinda do. But that's because I could never imagine going back. I don't try to judge. But yeah, this thread welcomes EVERYONE! x)

It's really hard to be in the middle. Most genderqueer females just come off as female to me, to be honest. I hate to admit that, but it's the whole "I'm a boy AND a girl thing!" that is hard for my brain to register. Don't get me wrong. I respect you fully. I acknowledge you as who you are. But when I meet genderqueer people in person, I pretty much always get confused, and embarrassed about my confusion.

Most genderqueer people I know look like hipster dykes. Please... whatever you do... don't. gonk

I can totally understand that. I've met more genderqueer bio-girls who come off as totally feminine than the other way around. That's where my problems come in since I'm much more masculine. And i don't know how to show that side at all, especially when I have curves and I'm small.

And LOL. Don't worry. While I like some hipster-y stuff, I'm not into that look. Or the hipster dyke look.

[Desideraht]

Mad Biter

I can totally understand that. I've met more genderqueer bio-girls who come off as totally feminine than the other way around. That's where my problems come in since I'm much more masculine. And i don't know how to show that side at all, especially when I have curves and I'm small.

And LOL. Don't worry. While I like some hipster-y stuff, I'm not into that look. Or the hipster dyke look.

Nearly ever genderqueer person I've met was a girly female, "trying" to be a "boy". And what I mean is they just come off as a girl playing dress up. And it really, really confuses me. I don't know if they're actually trans or not. But they get super pissy if you don't "understand" them. Gah, it's... really frustrating. I just try not to hang around that crowd. They seem just as confused about their identity as I am...

Basically they all wear GIANT glasses (or just shades with the lenses popped out), have their hair short and spiked, wear ridiculous scarves, tight jeans, neon colors, and have excessive, random tattoos/piercings. D:< It's just... FFGFGHAAGH.

[H l K A S A]

Desideraht

Mad Biter

I can totally understand that. I've met more genderqueer bio-girls who come off as totally feminine than the other way around. That's where my problems come in since I'm much more masculine. And i don't know how to show that side at all, especially when I have curves and I'm small.

And LOL. Don't worry. While I like some hipster-y stuff, I'm not into that look. Or the hipster dyke look.

Nearly ever genderqueer person I've met was a girly female, "trying" to be a "boy". And what I mean is they just come off as a girl playing dress up. And it really, really confuses me. I don't know if they're actually trans or not. But they get super pissy if you don't "understand" them. Gah, it's... really frustrating. I just try not to hang around that crowd. They seem just as confused about their identity as I am...

Basically they all wear GIANT glasses (or just shades with the lenses popped out), have their hair short and spiked, wear ridiculous scarves, tight jeans, neon colors, and have excessive, random tattoos/piercings. D:< It's just... FFGFGHAAGH.

To me, that sounds like they ARE confused still then. I don't even care what people call me, or if I get confused for being trans (It's happened), I just calmly explain how I am and don't get pissy..
...I can't help but lol a lot at this because it's true. I like the occasional lesbian who looks like that, but I can't take them seriously if they identify as genderqueer like I do. That probably sounds really dickish of me, but it's what I think.

[Stegsie]

Mad Biter

I don't know if I'm as welcome here as I used to be, considering I no longer identify as trans..but rather as genderqueer...but I thought I'd blow off a little steam.
My parents and my friends see me as being not male or female, just as me. There's no problem there.
The REAL issue is how I don't know how to blend my male and female qualities. My wardrobe is almost exclusively female clothing, and I've been getting very angry and embarrassed with myself for not having anything I want to wear on my more masculine days.

I don't know how to buy these things without feeling like everyone is judging me though, and I still don't have a packer or a binder.
I had a binder once, but I outgrew it. I can't work yet at the moment and I'm struggling with my last year of high school (I may end up getting a GED. I didn't want to, but it's heading that way).

I also don't know what to do with my hair. I grew it out for the first time in years. Yes, it's pretty..but I have a hard time with feeling masculine with it. I'm fine when I'm feminine, but on other days..there's not much I can do with it.

If I cut my hair off, i have no idea what cut to go for that's androgynous. Maybe I could get some advice?

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

I can't speak for everyone, but I totally welcome you with open arms here. =D

I have several friends who are genderqueer who run into that exact same problem, as they're all female-bodied. For hair they usually go kind of short, like pixie cuts or so. I'd suggest looking at some "tomboy" haircuts because for the days you're feeling feminine you can always use hair accessories or hats to give off a femme vibe; it's also somewhat popular for girls to have short hair now, so finding cute cuts that you could style to be more masculine isn't impossible. Try and Google "short girls haircuts" or something similar, I used to find my haircuts that way before I came out as trans*.

As for clothing, do you have a thrift store near you? Those are always chock full of stuff you can buy cheaply and edit however you like. Also, do you have a male/more masculine appearing friend you could go shopping with? I felt the same way trying to buy boys/mens clothing at first, and having a friend who already dressed masculine helped me feel like people weren't really staring. You could also try shopping online; if you get your measurements a lot of times sites will have charts where you can figure out what size to buy. Just in case, make sure they have a good return/exchange policy too.

For a packer, I've seen tutorials for making them out of socks with minimal sewing, as well as hair gel/condoms. The second option personally scares me though (you double bag but still). There's also some livejournal communities where they sell binders and packers second hand, so you might have some luck finding cheap ones there.

Lastly, I suggest studying male body language. It can help you appear more masculine on those days you feel that way. =D

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."

[Desideraht]

Mad Biter

Desideraht

Mad Biter

I can totally understand that. I've met more genderqueer bio-girls who come off as totally feminine than the other way around. That's where my problems come in since I'm much more masculine. And i don't know how to show that side at all, especially when I have curves and I'm small.

And LOL. Don't worry. While I like some hipster-y stuff, I'm not into that look. Or the hipster dyke look.

Nearly ever genderqueer person I've met was a girly female, "trying" to be a "boy". And what I mean is they just come off as a girl playing dress up. And it really, really confuses me. I don't know if they're actually trans or not. But they get super pissy if you don't "understand" them. Gah, it's... really frustrating. I just try not to hang around that crowd. They seem just as confused about their identity as I am...

Basically they all wear GIANT glasses (or just shades with the lenses popped out), have their hair short and spiked, wear ridiculous scarves, tight jeans, neon colors, and have excessive, random tattoos/piercings. D:< It's just... FFGFGHAAGH.

To me, that sounds like they ARE confused still then. I don't even care what people call me, or if I get confused for being trans (It's happened), I just calmly explain how I am and don't get pissy..
...I can't help but lol a lot at this because it's true. I like the occasional lesbian who looks like that, but I can't take them seriously if they identify as genderqueer like I do. That probably sounds really dickish of me, but it's what I think.

For a time, I thought I might be an androgyne, but I just don't identify as female in any way, as much as I kind of WISH I did. I identify as a man to the core, I just have some feminine aspects. I basically identify as a toned down metrosexual. Western standards of masculinity and manliness have very little to do with what I actually am. For the longest time I was so sure I couldn't be a "real man" because I see myself in a far more feminine light than what Americans consider acceptable for a man. But as I look into what other countries/cultures allow, I've realized it's western society that's ******** up, not me.

Sorry if that was irrelevant, lol.

But yeah, I don't mean to go "OH THOU ART NOT TRANS ENOUGH" but seriously, I've run into so many people like what I described and it gets really deep under my skin. I wish I could be more accepting.

[H l K A S A]

Stegash0ta

Mad Biter

I don't know if I'm as welcome here as I used to be, considering I no longer identify as trans..but rather as genderqueer...but I thought I'd blow off a little steam.
My parents and my friends see me as being not male or female, just as me. There's no problem there.
The REAL issue is how I don't know how to blend my male and female qualities. My wardrobe is almost exclusively female clothing, and I've been getting very angry and embarrassed with myself for not having anything I want to wear on my more masculine days.

I don't know how to buy these things without feeling like everyone is judging me though, and I still don't have a packer or a binder.
I had a binder once, but I outgrew it. I can't work yet at the moment and I'm struggling with my last year of high school (I may end up getting a GED. I didn't want to, but it's heading that way).

I also don't know what to do with my hair. I grew it out for the first time in years. Yes, it's pretty..but I have a hard time with feeling masculine with it. I'm fine when I'm feminine, but on other days..there's not much I can do with it.

If I cut my hair off, i have no idea what cut to go for that's androgynous. Maybe I could get some advice?

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

I can't speak for everyone, but I totally welcome you with open arms here. =D

I have several friends who are genderqueer who run into that exact same problem, as they're all female-bodied. For hair they usually go kind of short, like pixie cuts or so. I'd suggest looking at some "tomboy" haircuts because for the days you're feeling feminine you can always use hair accessories or hats to give off a femme vibe; it's also somewhat popular for girls to have short hair now, so finding cute cuts that you could style to be more masculine isn't impossible. Try and Google "short girls haircuts" or something similar, I used to find my haircuts that way before I came out as trans*.

As for clothing, do you have a thrift store near you? Those are always chock full of stuff you can buy cheaply and edit however you like. Also, do you have a male/more masculine appearing friend you could go shopping with? I felt the same way trying to buy boys/mens clothing at first, and having a friend who already dressed masculine helped me feel like people weren't really staring. You could also try shopping online; if you get your measurements a lot of times sites will have charts where you can figure out what size to buy. Just in case, make sure they have a good return/exchange policy too.

For a packer, I've seen tutorials for making them out of socks with minimal sewing, as well as hair gel/condoms. The second option personally scares me though (you double bag but still). There's also some livejournal communities where they sell binders and packers second hand, so you might have some luck finding cheap ones there.

Lastly, I suggest studying male body language. It can help you appear more masculine on those days you feel that way. =D

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."

Thank you so much! Just the answer I was looking for.

I do have male friends who I'll ask if they can take me to Goodwill or shopping in general. I know they wouldn't mind helping me at all.

As for male body language, I don't need to study it haha. I mastered it...it's just natural for me. My mom and I recently came across a picture of me 'graduating' preschool..and I'm sitting like every boy is. So, I've been moving and giving off that vibe for awhile now!

[Stegsie]

Mad Biter

Thank you so much! Just the answer I was looking for.

I do have male friends who I'll ask if they can take me to Goodwill or shopping in general. I know they wouldn't mind helping me at all.

As for male body language, I don't need to study it haha. I mastered it...it's just natural for me. My mom and I recently came across a picture of me 'graduating' preschool..and I'm sitting like every boy is. So, I've been moving and giving off that vibe for awhile now!

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

Glad to hear I could help! And also glad to hear you have awesome friends that would do that with you. I had just the one, thankfully they liked to go shopping fairly often. XD

Aha, well at least you're ahead of the game on that one! That's gotta be kind of amusing looking back on those pictures. I unfortunately would have gotten yelled at if I did that as a kid. Silly gender "rules."

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."

[Stegsie]

Desideraht

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

That looks freaking awesome. I haven't had the guts to wear a necklace in a long time.

And it's good things are looking even a little up for you; it seems you always get the short end of the stick, so for that to be reversed is a good sign. Hopefully it's a sign of more to come.

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."