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Omnipresent Gatekeeper

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                                            Hibiki nodded as Itsuma told him to get himself a bowl and not worry about him or Kohaku. Of course when he was told to make noise before entering the dining area his brow rose. Then he narrowed his eyes as Itsuma informed him that Iki might actually put a bell on him. He wanted to protest but instead just reluctantly nodded before tending to bowl.

                                            Kohaku was petting his crow as Itsuma entered. He glanced up and smiled slightly as he entered. “Hey…Where’s the bowl?” He didn’t see Itsuma with his food so he grew curious. Then he learned the reason he didn’t bring his food. Iki Kohaku sighed as he was informed that he had to get up. But it was like Itsuma said, he couldn’t argue with his doctor as much as he wanted. “Fine.” He uttered in disappointment. “Sorry but it looks like I can’t pet you anymore right now.” He glanced down a his crow with an apologetic look before moving the crow off his lap. He looked at Itsuma. “Help me up at least?” He uttered. With his help he stood up. His leg’s shook slightly as he stood there, he had to grip onto Itsuma while he walked otherwise he risked the chance of falling over.

                                            By the time they arrived at the dining area he was exhausted. It took so much energy just to walk. “Feeling like s**t aren’t you?” Iki uttered as he took a bite of a vegetable. “Yes. This is why I wanted to stay in bed.” Iki rolled his eyes as he drank his tea. “You won’t get better if you stay in better. You need to exercise, build up your strength. Keep lying in bed and you’ll lose what little muscles you have left.” He looked at Kohaku and then at Hibiki and Itsuma. “Though if you don’t care then fine, be a burden to those two losers. Makes no different to me.” He hit Kohaku right where it hurt and you could tell by his face, the kid obviously didn’t want that at all.


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                          Itsuma sighed, knowing that Kohaku wasn't so eager to get up "Sorry, but if he asks you to be up, then you'll have to be up. And I don't want you to get hurt if he's rougher" So Itsuma helped Kohaku get up. Even from that he could see that Kohaku was going to struggle with this. He remained close to Kohaku as they walked to the dinning area. The crow followed after Kohaku, flying around and trying to give support to his child.
                          Just as they reached the dinning area Iki began to be just a bit sassy with Kohaku. Though in the end he was right, and he should go and walk more to build up strength it was no way "Iki..." Itsuma sighed, before shaking his head and helping Kohaku take a seat. The crow entered, and after cawing around he pulled just a bit of Iki's hair, before he settled down on Kohaku's lap, upset as well that the other was being mean to his child.

                          Itsuma left to take a bowl for Kohaku and himself, and returned rather quickly. He settled down the bowl in front of Kohaku and then took a seat next to him "Thank you for the food" Itsuma quickly muttered, and began to eat. He smiled after a while "Ah Hibiki, you're really good at cooking" He complemented the silent yokai.

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                                            “What should I have sugar coated that?” If he had sugar coated his words there was no way this kid would take anything he said seriously. Itsuma sugar coated everything for that kid, it was no wonder he wasn’t equipped to deal with the s**t that was going on around him. Then his crow began to pull at his hair, he tried to swat the thing away but it flew off to the safety of the kids lap. “Don’t think I’ll forget that you little s**t bird.” Kohaku smiled at his bird and gently stroked his head. “Good boy.” He uttered before grabbing his chopsticks to eat.

                                            Iki rolled his eyes before continuing to eat. “Mmmh the big crow’s right. It’s like eating the cooking of a housewife or something.” Hibiki stopped mid bite and looked up at Iki. He put down his chopsticks and wrote something on a piece of nearby paper. ‘that sounds like an insult.’ Iki sighed as the other just stared at him. “It was a compliment.” The silent yokai stared at him for a while longer before continuing to eat. “Anyways why doesn’t he talk?” Iki uttered before pointing to Hibiki’s seal. “If you can’t take that off you could ask Itsuma I’m sure he wouldn’t mind taking it off for you. Right big crow?” Kohaku sighed and looked at Iki. “He wants to keep it on now can you drop it.” Kohaku looked at Hibiki who had now stopped eating and stared down at his soup. “Why does he want it on? What demon wants a seal on them?”


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                          The crow cawed at Iki, not giving a care of his threat, and even more he got really comfortable at Kohaku's lap. Though he couldn't help but feel happy as Kohaku had also agreed with him, and even told him that he had done a good job.

                          "Big crow?" Itsuma replied, his brows rising. So now he didn't even deserved a name? Itsuma sighed, and shook his head "Just say that he cooks good Iki" Itsuma muttered as he went over his soup. However, the conversation turned grim when Iki began to question why Hibiki had his seal. Kohaku had tried to make Iki stop, but Hibiki simply put his soup down and was staring at it. That was it. For Iki's curiosity and sake, he would stop the other. Two crows got out of his body quickly, and went over to knock out Iki from his seat. Good thing that the other had set his soup down "Ups. Seems like those two were in a hurry" Itsuma replied, and glanced at Hibiki "Hey, sory but could you help me get some more food done? I think fruit would be awesome to have" It was mostly an excuse to get Hibiki out of the room before Iki went over with the intruding questions. Itsuma quickly glanced a quick look to Kohaku to tell him it would be okay, and the stood up, going out of the room.

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                                            Iki was suddenly knocked him right off his chair. Hibiki looked over at the vacant seat and heard a groan coming from the floor before seeing some crow’s fly off. “In a hurry my a**!” The monk uttered before pulling himself up and rubbing his head. But before the monk could say more Itsuma addressed him asking if he could help him get more food. He slowly nodded before setting his chopsticks down and standing. Once Itsuma and Kohaku exchanged brief glances he and Itsuma were off.

                                            Hibiki and Itsuma entered the kitchen. He set down the paper and ink he’d brought with him and retrieved some fruit. But stopped and set the fruit down on the cutting board and looked over at the other. He bowed slightly, in thanks. Then he looked back at the fruit but made no move to cut anything. He just stood there staring at the fruit. He knew Itsuma had been sealed away, he knew would have given anything to have broken his seal sooner to be with Kohaku. Yet here he was with his seal, punishing himself. He’d meant no harm but still. Grabbing his paper he wrote something down before showing Itsuma. ‘Am I wrong to want to keep my seal? Am I wrong to punish myself?’

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                          Hibiki was thankful that he had pulled him out of the room, and Itsuma couldn't help but smile "No problem, Hibiki. I'll talk with Iki later so he won't press the matter further" Itsuma went over to take out a bowl for the fruit, but he stopped because he wasn't hearing Hibiki chopping the fruit. Even the silent yokai was looking down at the fruit. Itsuma sighed, took the bowl and left if nearby the fruit, however he stopped when Hibiki went over to write on his papers. He was asking if it was wrong for him to keep his seal, and Itsuma sighed "Well..." Itsuma scratched his head, and tried to think of the answer.

                          "Look, Hibiki. Whatever happened with your child, and what made you wear the seal is not my business unless you want to tell me. If you think that you're doing a good by keeping the seal, not just for punishing yourself, but for any other reasons, that it is okay. It is not like I'm happy seeing you with that seal. Any other yokai would be quite bothered by looking at a seal like that" Itsuma sighed "But you keep it for a reason, and I know that reason must be a good one. For me, it is not wrong if you want to keep it. So...So don't feel bad for what Iki said. He's a bit annoying, of course, but I'll make sure he won't bother you with that"

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                                            He didn’t keep the seal because he couldn’t control his powers. No on the contrary he had excellent control. Of course he had lost control once, just once. But he could hardly be blamed for that. He only kept this seal as a form of punishment. Which made the yokai feel, worse. Even more so when even Itsuma mentioned he didn’t like seeing him with the seal.

                                            Itsuma tried to comfort him though, tried to tell him not to feel bad. But he shook his head. He gripped the brush and took a silent breath before writing something and showing it to Itsuma. ‘There is no reason other than punishment.’ He lowered his paper and just stood there in silence for a moment. Then he wrote something down before showing Itsuma. ‘I failed her. This was all I could think to do, to atone for my failure. But, this voice of mine was something she loved, something that brought her joy.’ She loved his voice, it always brought her such great pleasure even in the darkest of times. Yet here he was sealing it away. Perhaps—

                                            What was the point of having this voice if he couldn’t make her laugh anymore? ‘Having my voice back, it will only bring back memories of our time together and how I failed her. But more than anything it’ll only remind me of how alone I am now.' He wrote before staring at his words. He didn’t want that.

                                            Was this ever really a punishment? Maybe in the beginning it had been. But now, was he simply running away from his own memories and feeling? His shoulder’s slumped as he continued to stare at his words.



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                          Itsuma remained awfully silent, realizing that Hibiki was opening up more than he had done when they had met. So this was punishment, but also it would trigger memories of this child that Hibiki had, and his inability to make her laugh, to make her enjoy. It seemed like she had liked Hibiki's voice then. What was more heartbreaking, however, was that he feared that if he broke the seal he would only realize how alone he was.

                          Itsuma sighed, and went over to pat Hibiki's back, though in the end it ended up in an hug "You're not alone, Hibiki" Itsuma began "You're right, you don't have your child. She may have died, and she might not be able to enjoy your voice longer. But in one thing you're wrong. You're not alone. Kohaku cares deeply about you, and I do as well. I'm sure that Iki does besides his teasing and each time you kind of give him a heart attack. You're surrounded by people that care about you, Hibiki" Itsuma pulled away, and sighed "I am guessing that her death might have been traumatic for you. That's why you keep your voice away as punishment. However, death is something that will come for us all. Maybe both of us, being yokai, will live longer. I know that at some point I'll lose Kohaku again. And that I will never be able to make him laugh as well. And that terrifies me, of course, but..." Itsuma smiled, fondly "I know that, no matter what happens in the end, the fond memories that I had with him will remain in my memory until the day I join him. And your girl, I'm sure she wouldn't have liked to see you sad. But rather remembering fondly, remembering those times you were happy with her, and she was happy with you"

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                                            Hibiki was surprised when he was suddenly embraced but the other yokai. At first he didn’t understand what Itsuma meant. Of course he was alone. His precious daughter was gone. She was his everything and she was taken away from him. But Itsuma’s words were not what surprised him. He, Kohaku, even Iki cared for him. They cared for him? How long had it been since someone had told him that?

                                            Itsuma pulled away from him. He was just left to stand there and ponder for a moment the other’s words. When Itsuma mentioned that his daughter’s death must have been traumatic he nodded slowly. It had. He could still see that day clearly, as if it happened yesterday. It haunted him. He quickly wrote down, ‘But I was suppose to protect her. If I had done a better job of that she wouldn’t have died when she did.’ His writing was no longer neat and clear but it reflected his current emotionally state.

                                            But hearing that Kohaku to would someday die left him with an ache in his chest. Because he was becoming fond of the boy and to realize he too would leave him it broke his heart. Yet despite Itsuma’s words the other smiled. He knew deep down Itsuma was right. He knew his daughter, she had lost her mother at a young age and had little memories of her. Despite missing her and being sadden by her death she held on to those few memories she had of her mother and cherished them. He knew she would want him to do the same. But it was hard. He held the brush in his hands and stared at it. Then with his shaking hand he wrote something down and showed Itsuma. ‘Botan. That was my daughter’s name’ He to stared at his words. Just seeing his daughter’s name written out before him filled him with a flurry of emotion’s he hadn’t felt in ages.


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                          Hibiki's usual neat handwritting was not as good as always. Of course he had a turmoil of emotions, not knowing if this punishment was fair or not. But he understood why he felt guilty. He had tried to save her, and failed. Just like Itsuma had done when Kohaku had been taken away. But Itsuma remained silent, knowing that this was already hard on Hibiki.

                          But it seemed that when he mentioned that Kohaku would die again to hit it hard on Hibiki. But it seemed that his words had eased Hibiki's heart. He remained there, not writing anything for a long time, before he wrote a single name. Botan. It was quite a pretty name "She has a pretty name, you know" Itsuma complemented. He looked at Hibiki again, knowing that again his heart was not at easy, and he sighed "You can cry, you know. I don't know if you did when you lost her. But...But it helps. I would have love to meet her. Is she was a good as you are, I'm sure she would have been lovely. Hell, maybe we could have introduced Botan and Kohaku to each other. I'm sure they would get along great" Itsuma smiled. Though he had not changed much from the time he suck at comforting, he was sure that this was helping Hibiki, one way or another.

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                                            Hibiki slowly nodded as he stared at the name. It was a pretty name. A pretty name for a pretty young lady. How long had it been since he’d even mentioned her name? It felt like it’d been ages. But, it felt bittersweet, sharing her name with someone else.

                                            Cry? Had he cried when he lost her? ‘I don’t remember if I did.’ Right after her death it was all a blur. To be honest he couldn’t even remember. Sure he cried for her after but had he cried when he lost her?

                                            ‘She was good, a little mischievous but good.’ But the thought of Kohaku and Botan meeting, it was an idea that warmed his heart. Slowly he nodded. ‘I’m sure she would have loved Kohaku. If he know her she would have thought of him like a brother.’ She’d always wanted one after all. ‘She had a great passion for flowers. So she would have been fascinated by Kohaku’s Kimono’s.’ His sight blurred, he could feel tears falling down his cheek. All this talk of what could have been was too much for him to bear, so he let the tears fall.


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                          It finally was too much for Hibiki. Even as they were still talking normally Itsuma felt that slowly but surely Hibiki was reaching the point of no return in missing Botan, and realizing that he needed to cry. Even Hibiki admited that it would have been nice if both she and Kohaku met, that she liked flowers and that she would have surely loved Kohaku's designs. That was it for Hibiki, and he began to cry. He didn't though that at first Hibiki realized that he was begining to, but of course as time passed he cried more and more and it would have been impossible for him not to notice.

                          Itsuma didn't wasted time, and hug Hibiki again so he could let it all out. It was kind of a fatherly hug. He used to hug Kohaku as a kid when he hurt himself or something like that so he could calm down. This was almost like it, but this time instead of just being a scratched knee or losing a favorite toy it was Hibiki missing the daughter he had lost.
                          Itsuma let Hibiki cry all he wanted. The only indicator that he knew that he was crying was the dampness he felt on his kimono every now and then. Even while crying Hibiki was totally silent. Though he found it odd he knew it was Hibiki. As long as he remained with that seal he wouldn't be able to mutter a single sound. But now, with what he had told to Hibiki, Itsuma wasn't sure if suggesting to get the seal just a bit off, to see if he liked it or not, wasn't going to be a good idea. If this was the only thing that somehow or another made Hibiki remember Botan then he wasn't going to go against it.

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                                            Hibiki was pulled into the other’s embrace. There was something, warm, comforting even. It reminded him of the hugs he’d sometimes give Botan. That sort of fatherly hug you’d give to your child. It was strange to be on the receiving end of such a hug. For some reason, it made his heart ache more.

                                            Still Itsuma let him cry and so, he did. He cried, his sobs were silent and his heart ached just as silently as his sobs. For the first time in a long, long time. He wished he could scream, and yell, and just sob not silent ones but to use his voice. Because the pain he felt was too immense. It was just so hard to contain silently.

                                            After some time though Hibiki pulled away with a small silent sniffle. He wiped the last of the falling tears before looking at the fruit. ‘We’ve taken a long time just to get fruit.’


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                          It was so strange to not hear Hibiki cry out loud, or wail or anything while he was crying. Kohaku would often do that as a child when he got lost in the mist, or he got a scrapped knee. But he knew it was because of the seal, yet it still felt strange and foreign to him. He wished that Hibiki wouldn't have to burden himself with things like this however he had tried to comfort the other about using the seal, so now he couldn't ask him to take it off so he could properly cry. It wasn't fair.

                          After Hibiki pulled away he noted that they had taken too long just to cut up fruit. Itsuma sighed, and nodded "Alright, we should go back" Though he was sure that Iki wouldn't be as pleased to see him after the incident he knew that they would grow even more suspicious if they took longer to return. Of course Kohaku might have an idea of what they were going to to talk, but still. He didn't need to worry him over. So Itsuma helped to cut up the fruit with Hibiki, and as soon as there was two bowls filled with it they returned.

                          "Ah! We're very sorry. It seems that our fruit supplies have turned a bit low, so getting two bowls for everyone was a bit of a trouble. I should go to buy food one of these days so we won't be running down on food" Of course it was a lie, but right now Itsuma didn't felt like being interrogated.

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                                            Hibiki nodded when he mentioned they should go back. He wanted to go back as well. He’d had enough of this. He was emotionally exhausted and he didn’t want to do any of this future. He didn’t want to cry, he didn’t want to remember anymore right now. So he went to cutting fruit, it was a simple task but a simple task he’d took comfort in.

                                            Iki and Kohaku sat silently in the dining room when Itsuma and Hibiki returned. Kohaku looked up at Itsuma and shook his head. “N-no it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Hibiki looked to Kohaku who in turned smiled at the other. He tried to pretend everything was fine but was having a rather hard time with it. After having heard everything with Iki it was hard for both of them to act normal. So once again silence fell across the room as the pair looked awkwardly down at there food. “…..Drink…I’m going to go have a drink.” Iki uttered before standing. “…Hibiki…thanks for the meal.” He uttered before retreating.



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