Harry Potter was sitting in his room wondering what to do. He was bored as always because his life just really ******** sucked. Everyone bullied him and he never knew why. All the children at school would try to step on his feet. Whenever he was in the garden his evil aunt and uncle would torment him and spray him with a hose. Whenever he tried to put on clothes like a real boy everyone would say “Harry’s not a real boy.” Harry was very sad because of all of this. One day Harry Potter was being a real boy on the street in front of his house. That was the day everything changed.
A fat harry man with a missive barrel sized c**k approached him c**k in hand. Harry was scrambling about, evading the missive c**k. The c**k chased him everywhere. It chased him up a tree, it chased him down a hidey hole, it chased him all the way down the street. Eventually the c**k-man grasped him in his missive barrel sized hand. Harry didn’t know what to do. He screamed and squirmed trying to get away. Suddenly, a booming voice came on: “My name is Hagrid. I am sorry for chasing you but I have to tell you something.” Harry didn’t know what to do. No one had ever talked to him this way. Harry’s hole life he only could speak to reptiles, never to humans. He was confused and he asked Hagrid “Why are you speaking to me this way Hagrid, are you a snake?”
Hagrid let out a hearty chortle and said, “No Harry, I’m a real boy.” Harry was besides himself. “Well if you’re a real boy why are you speaking to me? No real boy has ever spoken to me except out of contempt and fear.” SUDDENLY Hagrid pulled a letter from his sleeve. “This is for you Harry,” Hagrid said. “I cannot speak to you for long but you must read this note and try to contact me. Come down my hidey hole one day and we will speak further on these matters.” Hagrid disappeared in a puff of smoke. Harry tried to open the note but it was so large. Hagrid was much larger than any real boy he’d ever known. Harry clawed and pawed at the note but he could not get it open. Suddenly a large gust of wind blew in from across the parking lot and the note opened, as if by magic. On it, scrawled in all caps, 4 words were written in bright red text. “YER A LIZARD HARRY.”
Stay tuned for more,
Love Eric
200
100
100
