Two guys are sitting at a bar. After a bunch of drinks over several
hours, one guy hiccups, drops his head down to his chest, pushes himself
away from the bar, and proceeds to hurl all over himself.
Wiping his mouth off on his shirt sleeve, he says, "Man, I gotta go
home. I'm already 2 hours late, and now I've thrown up all over myself.
The ole' lady is gonna kill me.
The second guy turns to the first and says, "Naw she won't. Listen, you
got twenty bucks?"
The first says, "Yeah, why?"
The second drunk says, "Take the twenty and put it in your front pocket.
When you get home and your wife asks what happened, you tell her some
guy threw up on your shirt and he gave you twenty bucks for the dry
cleaning. I do it all the time.
The first guys says, "Great idea! Let's have another round", and the two
continued to drink for the next couple of hours.
Eventually they head home. Sure enough, the first guys wife is waiting
up for him. As he walks through the door, she takes a look at him and
says, "Look at you! You're pathetic!! You're five hours late, drunk as a
skunk, and you've got dried puke all over the front of you! What have
you got to say for yourself?!?"
He says, "Wait honey, listen for a second. This drunk guy threw up on me
and gave me twenty bucks to get my shirt dry cleaned, I swear. Check my
front pocket."
She reaches in and pulls out two twenty dollar bills.
She says, "Wait there's 40 bucks in here!"
He says, "Oh yeah, he crapped in my pants too!!"
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl
200
500
25
