Black Blossoms

• Artist: Idiosyncratic Quirk
• Description: It's missing an element to it. I don't know which. Perhaps a smooth transition or bad order. Feel free to be harsh.
• Date: 03/01/2009
• Tags: black blossoms animegunner oppression

All that remains are the ashes of southern hatred
Remnants and morsels of charred self-respect, humanity, and patriotism
All in the name of autocratic preservation
The pale crusaders can maintain face for only so long; they carry more filth within themselves than they'd admit to

Those beautiful blossoms, grown in the crevices of abandoned crude gardens, wilt not because they forgive not and are capable not of forgetting, though, they do hide from pale spotlight and find alleviation only through lack of it.
Blood stained soil grows black blossoms of ultimate oppression

When will the soil turn, ashes fertilize the land, and roses wilt?

Comments

[Merpoi]

Ehhh. When going through the writings here they all tend to be over dramatic? Anyways definitely should consider shuffling the order.

Tells you something about the cite you are using if the common Gaian thinks you pirated it. It must be a common practice here, so good works should be accompanied with a healthy dose of skepticism.

[Tsaru]

wow ....

[Idiosyncratic Quirk]

I wrote this, specifically for a class because we're doing a slavery unit. I don't want to win a Gaia writing award, I just wanted to see how the common Gaian would rate this and if they would give me any advice as to how to improve it.
It's insulting that someone would think I pirated my idea from another writer.

[ElegantHimiko2]

Did you really wrote this? or you just copied it from other writers?

[Gearhook]

Brutality: A bit of a stretch, and never a personal fan for free verse, I really liked it. I found it capturing, though not as subtle as I would expect

[dragonrebelfire]

amazing gn! But of course you're writing is always amazing. ^-^

[shadowkeandre]

Beautiful...You need to add more tags if you can so more people can find it.