I shook my head and hoped down. I walked past Damon who looked at me. He reached for me and I smiled, Emma started to speak, “I’m sor-” I held my hand up and shook my head, “Don’t worry about it.” I sighed and walked up stairs.
I felt like my life was a dramatic movie that everyone was watching. I hated how this happened to me, I wanted my life to be normal. I closed my bedroom door and sat on my bed. I buried my face into my white feather pillow. I hiccupped a cry. I had cried to much in the past two months or so. I heard someone faintly knock on my door. I lifted my foot and slightly twisted my foot and untied my black converse. I took my shoe off and threw it at the door. It made a faint thump and slid down to the hard wood floor. I heard the feet shuffle in a circle and thumped lightly down the hall, it was obviously Emma. I sighed and kept my head in the pillow and made my long fingers search for the on button on my stereo. It struck the right on and it made a click sound and all of a sudden the song Misery Business by paramore started. I tightened my eyes and held in the tears, I had no idea why I wanted to cry, just that I wanted to. I heard a hard knock and grabbed a pillow and threw it at the door not making a high enough sound to please me. I fiercely stood up and yanked off my shoe and threw it at the door, not loud enough. I had gone completely insane, I wanted to break something. I walked over to my shoes that were in a neat pile and grabbed them and one by one I threw them at the door. I started to scream, “I don’t know! I DON’T KNOW!” I had started to hear familiar voices in my head saying ‘why? Why Jayne? Why do you cry? Why do you want to cry?’ The voices got louder and louder. I screamed at them and kept throwing things. I ran out things that wouldn’t break to throw. I slid against the wall and pressed my hands against my temples. The voices gave me a head ache, “STOP!! I DON’T WANT TO!!” my eyes watered and I thumped my head and curled up into a ball on my floor. The last thing I saw was my mother’s face, “Sweetie you know why. Now TELL me!” I couldn’t breathe, I blacked out. When I came to I was laying on my bed and the comforter was tucked around me. There was something warm under my neck and on my left side there was something warm and hard yet soft next to me. I kept my eyes closed happy not to hear the voices and I snuggled up against the soft warm thing. The thing was stiff, I didn’t notice until it moved with my breathing. I quickly rolled from it my eyes flashing open. It was such a fast motion that I hadn’t realized who it was. I rolled off the bed and landed on the floor. The floor was freezing, almost as if it was ice. I lifted my hand to rub my back, I pressed my back and pushed myself up. My teeth chattered, I hurried and picked up the blanket and wrapped it around me and laid back down. I almost forgot Damon was there until I saw him hesitantly put his arm back under my neck. I smiled, “Wow, you’re quite…why?”
He didn’t speak and I looked up at him. His face was withdrawn from me. I thought about what happened, was he the one at the door? Was he the one who found me? Did he hear me breaking dawn? I sat up and crossed my legs. He sat up too his face was still composed. I grabbed his face and looked into his eyes and searched I found worried, he was the one who had heard and seen all the things I did, “Damon, I’m sorry.” That’s all I said. He smiled not touching his eyes, “Jayne are we,” he moved his fingers to make the motion that points back and forth between us, “Are we together, I don’t care if you don’t love me. I know I would rather be with you.”
Wow my life is a dramatic play, oh well I like this part, “Yeah my life is dramatic. Okay, I’ll give you a chance.” He smiled and bent over and kissed me. I felt my cheeks set on fire. My whole body heated in one second. He let go and smiled this time touching his eyes. We laid back down and he played with my fingers. I put my head on my chest and felt truly happy, “My life may be a dramatic show, but…” I lowered my voice to my small voice, “but I love you.”
- Title: The Moment not to cry
- Artist: Dancin In Heaven
- Description: The voices, the voices...I dont know is all Jayne could yell. The tears come but she doesnt know why.
- Date: 08/03/2009
- Tags: moment