• "Baby loves to dance in the dark, 'cause when he's looking she falls apart..." Lady Gaga, ''Dance in the Dark"

    I don't know what it was about him... He made me nervous...

    His name was Kyle. He was tall, brown hair, blue eyes, star quarterback... and... my boyfriend! Yes! Let's all give me a round of applause! The freaky music girl got the hot boyfriend! Yay!


    He knew all of my secrets-- all of my issues, and everytime I was around him... my issues were worse than before. My depression, my family, my substance abuse... he knew about all of it... He knew I was a mess.

    But it was only because he saw the real me, unlike hundreds of other kids at Compton... he knew what was going on with me, and he understood...

    But when I was by myself, I was fine. I could probably fly if I was always by myself. As soon as he got there... my problem came out.

    So it was October, and I was sitting in my room, messing around with some chords on my guitar, trying to make the riff sound right, when my mom calls me. Being the good little girl that I am, I walked downstairs.


    ''Someone's on the phone for you."

    "Thanks." I walked into the kitchen and picked the phone up off of the table. "Hello?"

    I heard a long wail at the other end of the phone. "H-h-h-he really r-really doesn't e-ever want to g-g-get back to-to-together... H-he hung up on m-m-me again!" This almost undeciferable ramble was followed by another long wail. Wonderful. Shyanne was emotional about breakups.

    "I'm sorry..."

    "D-don't be! It's n-n-not your f-fault that I e-e-end up dating a**-assholes..."

    I felt bad... I was the one that told her to date Aaron... I was the one that told her to take a chance since she had been dumped by Sean... and now she was crying her heart out again...

    "Why don't you come over to my house tonight?"

    "N-no. I already p-p-promised my mom I'd st-st-stay home. She wants me to pick up the p-pizza soon."

    "Alright. Well, hey, I got to go, but if you need anything, you come over, okay?"



    "B-b-bye, Laura."

    I hund up the phone. Okay. I admit. I am constantly the metal in any friendship. I am there to hold up what falls down... If only they knew how weak I really am...

    If only they knew that I secretly fell apart everyday...