The Apple Tree.

• Artist: x- Haru Fujioka -x
• Description: Read it and you'll find out.
  x3
• Date: 12/26/2008
• Tags: melancholy woods

It was a peaceful village.Lots of people wander about happily in safety.I was very happy too.Happy to be with my family.My father,mother,my sister and my brother.I was the youngest in my family.We were very happy.We lived in a beautiful,large house with a fragrant flower garden.My family's smile shone the brighter than the sunshine.We were very happy,indeed.But one day....My family's smile turned dark.As dark as the darkest shadow ever.And the cause for that is my father's death.He died two days ago.We couldn't believe our eyes.All of our smiles turned into darkness.But we weren't fully sad.Tommorow was supposed to be mother's birthday.Me and my siblings went out to search for a present.But before we planned to buy go out,my mother told us,"Our home is gone."We were shocked.Our eyes widened with sadness.We had no choice but to live in an old,apartment.


It was old and it smelled very bad.But we had no choice but to live in it because that was the only apartment we can afford to live in.My mother had to find a job for our living.Me and my siblings felt like we were a burden to mother.My brother and sister also had to find a job to support mother.

(To Be Contiunued)

Comments

[KayleyV2]

It is a sad story, but it is composed poorly. There are numerous grammatical errors, flagrant redundancy, and common figurative language. Also, if this is not a real story, then it is very plain and generic. If you really want to write, you need a lot of work. Anyone over the age of 13 should be able to write in a much more sophisticated manner than is presented here. There is never no hope for writing, but you need to learn a lot about writing before it becomes pleasurable to read your stories.