It's my collection!
I collect em, so make me signs and arts please!

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-What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep? A dinosnore!
-What is the fruitiest lesson? History, because it's full of dates!
-What language do they speak in Cuba? Cubic!
-Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race? He was asking for directions!
-How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life? Tell him a joke when he's a baby!
-What is a myth? A female moth!
-What cheese is made backwards? Edam?
-How do we know that the Earth won't come to an end? Because it's round!
-What town in England makes terrible sandwiches? Oldham!
-What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
-Why did the child study in the aeroplane? He wanted a higher education!
-In the park this morning I was surrounded by Lions! Lions, in the Park? Well, dandelions!
-What do you mean by telling everyone that I'm an idiot? I'm sorry, I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret!
-Why are goldfish red? The water turns them rusty!
-What is the best hand to write with? Neither, it's best to write with a pen!
-I'd tell you another joke about a pencil. But it doesn't have any point!
-Why do idiots eat biscuits? Because they're crackers!
-What was the gangsters last words? Who put that violin in my violin case!
-Why does a flamingo lift up one leg? Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!
-What is Cheddar Gorge? A large cheese sandwich!
-What happens when you throw a green stone in the red sea? It gets wet!
-What city cheats at exams? Peking!
-What makes the leaning Tower of Pisa lean? It doesn't eat much!
-Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA? Because it has 4 A's and one B!
-Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it's too far to walk!
-What is "out of bounds"? An exhausted kangaroo!
-Have you ever seen a duchess? Yes, it's the same as an English "s"!
-What followed the dinosaur? It's tail!
-Did you hear about the mad scientist who put dynamite in his fridge? They say it blew his cool!
-Would you like a duck egg for tea? Only if you quack it for me!
-How did the telephones get married? In a double ring ceremony!
-Dad, there is a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool. Give him a glass of water!
-Eat up your spinach, it'll put color in your cheeks. But I don't want green cheeks!
-Where does success come before work? In the dictionary!
-Did you hear about the fool you keeps going around saying "no"? No. Oh, so it's you!
-What steps would you take if a madman came rushing at you with a knife? Great big ones!
-Who was the world's greatest thief? Atlas, because he held up the whole world!
-How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars!
-Mr Smith: I hate to tell you, but your wife just fell down the wishing well. Mr Brown: It works!
-What is a volcano? A mountain with hiccups!
-What does one star say to another star when they meet? Glad to meteor!
-Were you long in the hospital? No, I was the same size that I am now!
-What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear? Ferry tales!
-Who invented fractions? Henry the 1/8!
-What's an insect's favourite sport? Cricket!
-What do you call a foreign body in a chip pan? An Unidentified Frying Object!
-Why did the lazy man want a job in a bakery? So he could loaf around!
-I want a hair cut please. Certainly, which one!
-Why was the Egyptian girl worried? Because her daddy was a mummy!
-How old is your granddad? I don't know but we've had him a long time!
-What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
-A noise woke me up this morning. What was that? The crack of dawn!
-Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time? A jelly copter!
-Why did the man take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
-What's the difference between an American student and an English student? About 3000 miles!
-How do you stop a cold getting to your chest? Tie a knot in your neck!
-What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower? I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!
-What button won't you find in a tailors shop? Belly button!
-What happened when the wheel was invented? It caused a revolution!
-Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on their walls? Because they couldn't spell their names!
-Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned!
-How do you prevent a Summer cold? Catch it in the Winter!
-What is the best day of the week to sleep? Snooze-day!
-How many rotten eggs does it take to make a stink bomb? A phew!
-What does "Maximum" mean? A very big mother!
-What is full of holes but can still hold water? A sponge!
-Waiter, this soup tastes funny? Then why aren't you laughing!
-What do you get if you cross a US President with a shark? Jaws Washington!
-How do we know that Joan of Arc was French? She was maid in France!
-How do you make milk shake? Give it a good scare!
-What has two humps and is found at the North Pole? A lost camel!
-This morning my dad gave me soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.I bet you were mad. Mad? I was foaming at the mouth!
-What does "Minimum" mean? A very small mother!
-What is an archaeologist? Someone who's career is in ruins!
-Why are astronauts successful people? Because they always go up in the world!
-What is the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half!
-Do you have any invisible ink? Certainly sir. What colour?
-Where do hamsters come? Hampsterdam!
-What is the most slippery country in the world? Greece!
-What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas? A ladder in her stocking!
-Did you hear about the mad scientist who invented a gas that could burn through anything? No, what about him? Now he's trying to invent something to hold it in!
-Where do snowmen go to dance? A snowball!
-What kind of fish can't swim? Dead ones!