Me Myselfish Self and I
Names Anthony. Live everywhere in nowheresville. I'm 25 years really old almost 26. If you need wisdom coming to me, if you need a wise crack, pull up your pants, thats disgusting.
Letsee Jokes jokes jokes...
Where does Mel Gibson like to spend an asian Vacation?
In... Mel-Asia!!! [Malaysia]
Yo momma so fat she jumped in a bowling alley and EVERYBODY GOT A STRIKE!!!
I have a bird, his name is rubiks, he's very cute but he's also very loud. If you want him he's yours. He'll do all the cute things an animal will do cuddle blah blah but i'm a guy. A real Guy and that stuff is bleh.
Need information? What do i do for a living? Do i have an edumacation? Do i enjoy bologna? How do you live up to having dream jobs such as a donut shoppe, an ice cream shoppe, and a pizza shop and not get fat?
The answers will surprise you [maybe not the exercise part of the last one]
Ask them if you want to start a conversation it makes conversations go smoothly for both of us. not the regular, how's the weather in... where do you live? so boring... New Jersey.
Lets do yo momma jokes for kicks and wiggles
Jesus Died for me and you to live. Accept him into your life and you will live forever through him. Yes I'm a Christian and i have him in my heart. You an Atheist? well don't shove your religion down my throat! If i say God bless you don't get offended, accept it or say nothing. not "GODS NOT REAL!" I mean thats like going to jail and a very big and powerful inmate tells you that fried chicken is so good for you, you agree with him or say nothing. Moral: Starting fights or bringing up unneeded Conflict is very foolish.
Ok i'll lighten the mood with some hilarious jokes.
yo momma so dumb she spent hours in the shower because of the shampoo directions.
Yo momma so ugly she went to an ugly contest and the judges said "sorry mam, no professionals"
Yo Momma so fat she stepped on a scale and it said "Your weight not your phone number!!!"
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
How does a blonde try to kill a fish? She drowns it.
An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have 3 possible donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The 3rd is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?" "I'll take the lawyer's heart", said the patient. After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the donor he did. "It was easy", said the patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."
What do you call a gay ginger?
and my favorite joke
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, and then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, which begins to sing along with the rat's music. While the man is enjoying his free drinks, a stranger confronts him and offers him $400 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $500 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $700 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money. "Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $700" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
if that was too much reading well you could have skipped you door knob!!!