Someday I'll have my fairytale, until then I won't ever stop dreaming
For you are the dream, and I am the dreamer, and someday we'll be together
Someway, and somehow I'll find you, just wait for me ; my lovely little 夢 (yume)
Hey babycakes <3 I know this is all random, just hacking you like this. But, I listened to Kpop today (yes, kpop), and the old sound of 2NE1 sort of gave me an epiphany. I'm so sorry that I haven't been there with you, to comfort you, to talk to you. I'm so sorry I don't text you or call you, hell, I don't even tell you I love you anymore. And I'm asking for your forgiveness. I know it's been hard, but I've been such a selfish b***h lately, thinking only of myself. Thinking of my sadness, contemplating suicide more than often. But to be honest, I'm going to say this how it is: I felt like you really never listened to my problems anymore. Like you sort of just talked to me, but you never really LISTENED. And that was when I sort of felt like you failed me because...it just didn't feel the same. I don't know why. So, then I decided just not to talk about my problems with you, and not just with you...I stopped all in general. You could say, I stopped functioning like my normal self. I've been so obsessed with my own self, I forgot how I've been failing you. Yes, I have, don't you dare tell me I haven't because I know what I've been doing wrong. I miss you so much and it's so hard because we've grown apart, but I love you dearly. And I have to remind myself that before I had all these other people, it was ONLY you and I <3 Me and you against the world. So I felt like you haven't really listened, so ******** what?! You've listened to me all the time before. I mean s**t, what the hell is wrong with me?! Why was I getting all upset because of that? I know I'm changing, and I want to remain the same with you. I love you so much, you know, Keisha. You will ALWAYS be my best friend for life. I love you so much, gurlfren <3 :] Forgive me for all this s**t. I was paying so much attention to myself, I didn't even think of your feeling. You know what? If I don't text you, you ******** text or leave a voicemail and tell me to call you. I'm so sick of the way I've been acting. I'm so sorry I don't even visit you anymore. I know I can't make all of this up to you because the past is the past, and like Richey Edwards said, "All you can do to the past is to never want to be like it", and I'm going to become close to you again <3 I promise, I'll try to make more time for you. Even during school <3 And you know what? Let's move to Washington :] Let's do everything we set out to do, everything we've planned since we were middle schoolers. I love you so much <3 Tell me how you feel because I know I've been neglecting you so much! You really do mean a lot to me. You're the bestest friend anyone could ever want! I'm so lucky that we even met! <3 You really have saved me from myself. We've been together for so long, and we'll continue to be that way forever. Saranghae, Keisha <3 Love you, and I'm so sorry.
Forgive me, Chevelle.
I've been cursed ; I've been crossed ; I've been beaten by the ones that get me off. I've been cut ; I've been opened up ; I've been shattered by the ones I thought I loved....
I dream to hope and believe, I hope to believe and dream, and I believe I will hope and dream <3