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Thoughts of a Loner

“It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored.”

 

An echo...


~ WG's Official Outcast & Exile ~

"It does not matter what I do nor how friendly I may try to be towards other, but I know the truth: I will never belong. I lost my chance at making friends a long time ago, but...I have nowhere else to go. I know people, no matter how polite they may seem, think unkindly of me...and I am okay with that. My name is Wings Of Reparation...and I am an outcast of WG."

~ Mark of Loneliness ~

"I once had a group of friends. People I once held dearly to me. One by one, they all fell down, leaving me alone. I understand now that life is telling me that I do not deserve happiness. So I live with what's been given to me: Misery. Everyday, I live with it; knowing I can never find peace living. Because my friends found theirs...in death."

~ WGmon's Exile ~

"I annoy people wherever I go and that thread is no exception. For the sake of retaining whatever integrity I have left, I swear to never post in that thread from now on. It wouldn't be the first time I've shunned myself from a hangout thread and it will not be the last. "

- Some info about myself -

* Always assumes the worst
* Extreme pessimist.
* Hard time expressing intentions right
* Feels very isolated from others
* Carries a lot of emotional baggage
* Has difficulties figuring out people's intentions [ Hostility, anger, hate, etc. ]
* Awkward & Aloof [ Socially IRL or otherwise ]
* Hates schools with an extreme passion
* Hates parties
* Generally avoids conflict [ Yet unintentionally starts some... ]
* Extreme Abandonment Issues
* Notice how I say nothing positive about myself? That says a lot about my self-esteem.

- Irony ( Lyrics from video ) -

I feel that walking has become another chore
I don’t think I can go on walking anymore
Forgive me for those words, I know they’re but a cliche to you
But life is tiring, my feet are feeling sore

I wish that I could have a bit of time
To heal the ache that’s growing stronger all the time
But I know time stops for nobody, let alone me
And so I go, inevitably...

Whenever things are going rather happily
It turns out life is just playing a trick on me
It’s slightly shameful to admit the truth, I end up in tears
And so returns the same old melancholy

I miss when life was just simplicity
And misery wasn’t always chasing after me
It’s pretty obvious now, I should have left my regret
But I held onto it, so foolishly

Maybe I overreact a bit
It hasn’t destroyed me yet, has it?
But everything I desire is always just too far to get

Honestly, it’s just me, brainlessly, so silly
Always hoping for good to be

If that’s the case then just hear my plea
Pick me up and drop me into unfaltering sleep

You say to look hard for a solution
But wouldn’t that depend on the person?
So I could never, no I could never
Believe a word anyone says

I know that everyone has their hardships
It’s fairly clear to me that I’m not alone
But how is it that they can just leave them
I just don’t know at all

Often I’m told I need to clean up my act
Although maturity is something I lack
And so when some simple little problems arise
I over-think them, over and over again

It seems that the world is just a troublesome place, so
Sometimes I think that I should just end the pain
“You’re sick, aren't you dear?”
“I’m sick of the tears”
Why can’t everything just end simply?

Everything I aspired to be
Is nothing that will become of me
If my expectations are too far-fetched, then just what am I to do?

Give a sign, give a sign, a reason not to die
Give me a chance to prove my worth

I constantly search for a place to cry
Why won’t these tears just stop pouring from my eyes

It’s hard to constantly think of the same things
It’s just unnecessary to think too much
You always told me stars would guide me back home
Although they only show at night

You always showed me so much kindness
I don’t deserve it, I have failed you too much
I think my tiny heart is going to split
Please just leave it be, for now...

Step back from me...
Please leave me be...
This so-deceitful road that I stumble on
is never going to end...

It’s getting difficult to maneuver
And it’s just worthless to try and run away
So I’ll just hold my hands over my ears
And block out all this noise

How can I live not knowing what life is?
Sometimes my dreams seem to be more realistic
Obviously I can’t be called happy
But then, what am I, after all...?

Here's something...

Leave a mark...and be remembered always.

View All Comments

Okami Tenrou Report | 08/19/2014 8:38 pm
Okami Tenrou
Aha apologies if Cyane sounds more timid. It has nothing to do with Creia, just wanted to make the poor girl adorably unarmed for once. Just cause I feel sadistic and want to torture my OCs for a bit. ^_^
Okami Tenrou Report | 08/17/2014 3:46 pm
Okami Tenrou
Maybe once I'm brave enough to try it again, although I'll probably only be doing bribe shops or art auctions now. The most art I do these days is I'll occasionally do freebies for people I like. Less pressure, and if they're rude I can simply not draw..? rofl

Well Cyane is pretty much damaged mentally (it's one of my ongoing themes for my OCs lol, I just like playing characters who aren't completely sane). Oh yes, she would definitely be the submissive I-don't-want-to-say-it-but-it-feels-so-good type! Expect her to try and reach for her gun when things get too crazy actually - that's how you know you're doing a good job. rofl And I bet you do, considering Creia's many pairings around WG!
Okami Tenrou Report | 08/17/2014 1:13 pm
Okami Tenrou
Aww thank you! >///< I used to commissions long ago, but stopped due to crazy inflation and a bad experience with some rude potential customers (tried to fight me when I said no to doing a full body colored for 1 mil).

It's not like Cyane doesn't hate the attention, she's more of just not used to it and flattered to the point where she doesn't know how to respond. So if Creia wants to drown her in affection, be my guest. I'm sure the results would be hilarious! Although... why do I get the feeling Creia's love would leave Cyane more traumatized than breathless? rofl

Captcha says "Labor of Love" LOL
Okami Tenrou Report | 08/17/2014 10:07 am
Okami Tenrou
Aww thank you. Took me way too long to draw that! >/////< Besides, I felt it was about time I get my OCs decent art lol!

Oh you~ I can imagine Creia doing something like that too, although expect Cyane to get a bit self-conscious as her legs are covered in scars (why she wears stockings most of the time actually). But if Creia can dominant her she won't resist. heart
Eunica Chambers Report | 08/13/2014 8:17 pm
Eunica Chambers
((That is perfect. XD Don't tempt the dice gods, though. XD You may roll something other than a 2 and get the "Kill them" option.))
Arma Toulon Report | 08/10/2014 6:05 pm
Arma Toulon
(( xD Arma would be like, "Meh, its Sunday. Let another exorcist take care of those pesky ghouls and ghosts. I'm sharing my day off with my girl, Creia."

She only procrastinates on days when she is extremely lazy. xP ))

Arma Toulon Report | 08/10/2014 5:01 pm
Arma Toulon
[[ I know right? These slippers are so adorable <33 ]]
Cafe au Chocolat Report | 08/10/2014 12:41 pm
Cafe au Chocolat
xd I'm trying to emulate my real life skin, after woking out so much over the summer I got REALLY tan,
Cafe au Chocolat Report | 08/02/2014 8:27 pm
Cafe au Chocolat
Mmm thank you, I'm not at all sad to be honest, I'm happy that he's not suffering anymore, I imagine becoming that old for a cat, unable to chase mice properly and having extreme joint discomfort being horrible. I'm surprised he survived so long but I guess that's a testiment to my love.

But thank you so much for your condolences. We're actually having a small funeral for him tomorrow.
Arma Toulon Report | 08/02/2014 7:23 pm
Arma Toulon
[[Thanks, it was inspired by that song I uploaded on my profile. xD She would be like a Final Boss version of Reimu Hakurei from the Touhou Project.

Seeing that it does fits her role as both an exorcist and spiritualist. Who knows? It might become canon, though I'm still toying around with the Nephilim idea. / = w = / ]]
 

One soul among billions...

Wings Of Reparation's avatar

Oh...You came to visit me? That's nice of you...

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