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Thoughts of a Loner

“It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored.”

 

An echo...


~ WG's Official Outcast & Exile ~

"It does not matter what I do nor how friendly I may try to be towards other, but I know the truth: I will never belong. I lost my chance at making friends a long time ago, but...I have nowhere else to go. I know people, no matter how polite they may seem, think unkindly of me...and I am okay with that. My name is Wings Of Reparation...and I am an outcast of WG."

~ Mark of Loneliness ~

"I once had a group of friends. People I once held dearly to me. One by one, they all fell down, leaving me alone. I understand now that life is telling me that I do not deserve happiness. So I live with what's been given to me: Misery. Everyday, I live with it; knowing I can never find peace living. Because my friends found theirs...in death."

~ WGmon's Exile ~

"I annoy people wherever I go and that thread is no exception. For the sake of retaining whatever integrity I have left, I swear to never post in that thread from now on. It wouldn't be the first time I've shunned myself from a hangout thread and it will not be the last. "

- Some info about myself -

* Always assumes the worst
* Extreme pessimist.
* Hard time expressing intentions right
* Feels very isolated from others
* Carries a lot of emotional baggage
* Has difficulties figuring out people's intentions [ Hostility, anger, hate, etc. ]
* Awkward & Aloof [ Socially IRL or otherwise ]
* Hates schools with an extreme passion
* Hates parties
* Generally avoids conflict [ Yet unintentionally starts some... ]
* Extreme Abandonment Issues
* Notice how I say nothing positive about myself? That says a lot about my self-esteem.

- Irony ( Lyrics from video ) -

I feel that walking has become another chore
I don’t think I can go on walking anymore
Forgive me for those words, I know they’re but a cliche to you
But life is tiring, my feet are feeling sore

I wish that I could have a bit of time
To heal the ache that’s growing stronger all the time
But I know time stops for nobody, let alone me
And so I go, inevitably...

Whenever things are going rather happily
It turns out life is just playing a trick on me
It’s slightly shameful to admit the truth, I end up in tears
And so returns the same old melancholy

I miss when life was just simplicity
And misery wasn’t always chasing after me
It’s pretty obvious now, I should have left my regret
But I held onto it, so foolishly

Maybe I overreact a bit
It hasn’t destroyed me yet, has it?
But everything I desire is always just too far to get

Honestly, it’s just me, brainlessly, so silly
Always hoping for good to be

If that’s the case then just hear my plea
Pick me up and drop me into unfaltering sleep

You say to look hard for a solution
But wouldn’t that depend on the person?
So I could never, no I could never
Believe a word anyone says

I know that everyone has their hardships
It’s fairly clear to me that I’m not alone
But how is it that they can just leave them
I just don’t know at all

Often I’m told I need to clean up my act
Although maturity is something I lack
And so when some simple little problems arise
I over-think them, over and over again

It seems that the world is just a troublesome place, so
Sometimes I think that I should just end the pain
“You’re sick, aren't you dear?”
“I’m sick of the tears”
Why can’t everything just end simply?

Everything I aspired to be
Is nothing that will become of me
If my expectations are too far-fetched, then just what am I to do?

Give a sign, give a sign, a reason not to die
Give me a chance to prove my worth

I constantly search for a place to cry
Why won’t these tears just stop pouring from my eyes

It’s hard to constantly think of the same things
It’s just unnecessary to think too much
You always told me stars would guide me back home
Although they only show at night

You always showed me so much kindness
I don’t deserve it, I have failed you too much
I think my tiny heart is going to split
Please just leave it be, for now...

Step back from me...
Please leave me be...
This so-deceitful road that I stumble on
is never going to end...

It’s getting difficult to maneuver
And it’s just worthless to try and run away
So I’ll just hold my hands over my ears
And block out all this noise

How can I live not knowing what life is?
Sometimes my dreams seem to be more realistic
Obviously I can’t be called happy
But then, what am I, after all...?

Here's something...

Leave a mark...and be remembered always.

View All Comments

Yeulveren Report | 09/16/2014 5:26 pm
Yeulveren
XD I can't put on a mostly purple outfit without thinking of it as a tribute to Avril, so it fits.

And fun fact! Yeul is actually a pretty big eater despite her size. Idra teases her about it all the time, calling her part shark for her appetite (since he's the only person who can get away with it). I don't get to portray this often, though. But in any of her mall posts she's usually out eating (like that one time with Fravardin). My inventory is full of food items from Rina's shop, too. rofl
Noxte Report | 09/16/2014 5:17 pm
Noxte
In response to your question in the WG thread...

Sometimes it flows out and I can't help myself. xd Haha.~
Eunica Chambers Report | 09/14/2014 7:25 pm
Eunica Chambers
"Well, I can't just let you sleep out in the cold," she said. "Especially if you're Creia's daughter. You can sleep in my room, until the crystal goes off. Don't worry about the neighbors, if they ask, I'll just tell them you're a friend's kid who needed a place to stay."

((Take it, Dahlia~ Creia will be so jealous that you got in Eunica's bed before her.))
Eunica Chambers Report | 09/14/2014 6:48 pm
Eunica Chambers
"If it is ready again, how will you know what's happening, if you do not have it?" she asked. Eunica looked at Dahlia intently and added, "There are no hotels in Littlewood. Where will you be hiding?"
Eunica Chambers Report | 09/13/2014 8:13 pm
Eunica Chambers
"Have they tried sending it to an uninhabited world?" she asked. "It worked for me, when I was fighting the Devourerer which had the same audacity to not die." Eunica wanted to do something to help her friends as well, but there was nothing she could do. Not yet, anyways. She had her role; when she could help, she'd know the time.
Eunica Chambers Report | 09/13/2014 4:57 pm
Eunica Chambers
"I know, but I'm willing to take that risk, if it's to help a friend--" She held her breath as the crystal ball stopped pulsing and the image appeared within it. Seeing the beast they were fighting, Eunica could just imagine how much power came from it. If this thing was hunting humans, she would not stand a chance against it--at least, not for as long as Creia and Yin were making it. She took in the identifying features of the creature they were fighting, Eunica raised an eyebrow. It was almost a chimera--almost. It lacked the goat and the snake was the tail, not the head. This thing, if it was capable of the destruction she saw, would need more than just two incredibly powerful warriors to take it down. Even the devourerer, which could not be killed, needed the joint efforts of the Vigil and Deathsayers to send it to the desolate planet it now starved on. Unable to eat and unable to die.

Thankfully, this creature was not a devourer, which only meant that it still could potentially die.

"What was that?" she asked.
Eunica Chambers Report | 09/13/2014 4:13 pm
Eunica Chambers
"It might be best if you stick around Littlewood, just in case things go south with this," she said. "I'll hold onto the crystal, but there's a saying among the magical community: 'Those with magic or associated with it are drawn to each other, whether they know it or not.'" She looked down at the crystal ball again. "Knowing my luck, this will get me plenty of visitors."
Eunica Chambers Report | 09/13/2014 1:06 pm
Eunica Chambers
"If this place is hostile to humans, then I best prepare for when this stops pulsing then," she explained."I normally do not take on jobs anymore, but I'm going to make an exception to help this time..." She took the orb into her hands. "Or are you telling me that it will happen tonight?"
Eunica Chambers Report | 09/11/2014 8:08 pm
Eunica Chambers
"It's not humility. I was only doing something I was supposed to do in that situation," she laughed, waving a hand. "Your praise is noted, however."

"And they intend on finding Aletta," she commented. "It has been a long time since I last saw her. I... was rash, when I last spoke and hurt her. I'm hoping she is alright." She lowered her gaze to the crystal ball. "Creia will be contacting us with this or will we be contacting her?"
Okami Tenrou Report | 09/11/2014 7:44 pm
Okami Tenrou
Aha you're welcome, and yeah I know that feeling. I haven't been having any luck finding RPs that catch my interest, not to mention a lot of my WG friends haven't been active much late. Although dressing up my male OC as a maid was pretty fun, I have to admit.

The worst part is this lack of inspiration = haven't felt like drawing either ;A;

And yeah, lets! For the sake of humanity, before it consumes us all! *dramatic pose*
 

One soul among billions...

Wings Of Reparation's avatar

Oh...You came to visit me? That's nice of you...

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