Vaughn Tophat

This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?


This may never start.
I'll tear us apart.
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Nevermind, I'll let it happen to you
Out of mind, forget it there's nothing to lose
But my mind and all the things I wanted

Everytime I get it I throw it away
It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay
By the time I lose it I'm not afraid
I'm alive but I can Surely fake it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see

Forget it

There's a place I see you follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I'm alone but holding breath you can breathe
To question every answer counted

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way

I could live forever here.

She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label
She says she's ashamed
And can she take me for awhile?
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend

We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her
She says that love is for fools who fall behind
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend


I held onto you for as long as I could but today
You fell away
Now what I hold are the memories we barely made
I stood on the edge of your bridge until I felt the rain
Push me away
My confusion left me fast as the vertigo came

What I believed to be true it was only a dream
Believed in me
I just projected it over your beautiful screen
I self medicated my way through this mess that we made
So I could stay
There was nothing, but I waited
I waited

This was my mistake
Broken are plans we made

Tearing me apart with words you wouldn't say,
And suddenly tomorrow's a moment washed away.
'Cause I don't have a reason, and you don't have the time,
But we both keep on waiting for something we won't find.

The light on the horizon was brighter yesterday,
With shadows floating over, the scars begin to fade.
We said it was forever but then it slipped away,
Standing at the end of the final masquerade.

All I ever wanted, the secrets that you keep,
All you've ever wanted, the truth I couldn't speak.
'Cause I can't see forgiveness, and you can't see the crime,
And we both keep on waiting for what we left behind.

I'm holding onto white balloons
Up against a sky of doom
Tell me you see them
'Cause what's inside of me is invisible to most
Even in clear view
I'm sending out a signal to the possibility of you
'Cause right at this moment
I know you're connected to a part of me that I don't even know myself

The changes in me
Are likely to be like the weather
Stormy and clear strength into fear bound together

But I'll break my silence
If I believed that you and me could ever be
More than just what's been behind us
I tried and left, they came and went
I got rejected out again
But no one believes me
I've worn a hundred faces
Of the character replacements and now
Nobody sees me

The changes in me
Are likely to be like the weather
Cloudy at best...

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when

I wish it was raining; because I hate every beautiful day.

Softly we tremble tonight,
picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight,
I said I'd never leave, you'll never change
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life.

Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me...

We made plans to grow old,
believe me there was truth in all those stories that I told.
Lost in a simple game cat and mouse,
Are we the same people as before this came to light?


Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say

But trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between

But trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between

Between my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

And things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none

But trying to regain your trust was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between

Between my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

And I cannot explain to you
in anything I say or do or plan

Fear is not afraid of you
But guilt's a language you can understand

I cannot explain to you
And anything I say or do
I hope the actions speak the words they can

For my pride and my promise
For my lies and how the truth gets in the way

For a while all of the happy things just make it worse. Blue skies, sunsets, the wind in the trees, it's all an opportunity to reflect. The more you think, the more you'll dwell on what is, and what could have been. Reality will be the biggest source of pain every time you confront it. Eventually however you'll accept what is, and concern yourself more with what could be. You'll have to have the strength to find optimism in the possibilities of your future. What changes can be made today, so that tomorrow you can be happy? Those are the questions you need to answer.