General Inquiry

(Last Updated: November 3rd, 2014)
20/M/CA/Single/INFJ/Straight/Hamburgers

I've been on here since '06 and I'm pretty much done with this site. Had a lot of good times and bad times, wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world. I'd redo a lot if I could, but everything happens for a reason yeah? Talk to me on skype and tumblr instead.

[Other forms of contact]
Skype: OddessyAlex
Steam: Ermacbuns
PSN: (Ask on skype or steam)
Tumblr: Buttcanine
 

My Story. (Updated Nov. 23rd, 2014)

The Final Chapter of The Man Formerly Known As Trippin.


I started on May 2nd, 2006.. and I ended my time on Gaia November 23rd, 2014.



[i]For whomever is reading this, Hello and also Goodbye. You're too late however to talk to me on here. Time and almost a decade has passed, from when I've been on here, and it was time for me to take my exit, but I digress. Here is my story.


My name was Alex. I was an active user on this site we call Gaiaonline. I started when I was 11. I used this as a place to get away from reality, and to play a new game that my girlfriend at the time had shown me. However, after about a year into it I met some of the most amazing people.I shared all sorts of moments with them, I hung out with them every day, I actually felt like I belonged somewhere for once. I didn't have to deal with my dad arguing with my mom and deal with really bad social anxiety. I WAS somebody. I had people that genuinely cared about me and I fit in for once. In the years that followed I met more, some I've loved, some I've lost, some broke me down beyond my point of repair, some stayed in my life no matter what, and many left me.

Back in 2006 when things were a lot more basic and simple. It's when I started after all. Those who I met we all hung out in Barton 1, 1000. We all had our little group. There were happy moments, there were quarrels. We all in those moments, still cared for one another though, and let me tell you it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world. To be part of something, and feel loved? It's a feeling not so easily obtained, and I wouldn't trade those memories, those golden moments for anything else in the world. It's just not something you can really get back either. As time went on we all went our separate ways with the exception of a few people.
Meanwhile, I was going into Junior High and It honestly was the worst period of my life, I felt shitty about the way I lived my life, I felt shitty that I was so poor and couldn't do anything about it, I felt shitty that I came from a home with an overbearing mother, alcoholic drug addict father who couldn't tell the truth to save his life and woman abuser, a brother with Autism and the fact that I had to carry that weight of the abuse, the fights, the drugs, all of that on my back to school every single day on top of no one understanding why the ******** I actually would just be quiet and not want to talk to anyone. The whole time through 7th-8th grade, I wished I would die so bad, I just wanted to be rid of everything. No friends, no life, no hope. I was stuck in a depressive slump for god knows how long and I never really got over how bad it made me feel. I try to forget that period of my life and try to block it out. However, GAIA, more specifically my friends ON gaia were there for me. I didn't say anything about it, I wanted to hide that side of me so bad. I hated the fact that I had such a broken and pathetic life. So I hid it. Every day after school I'd run off to Gaia and put a fake smile on my face for my mom so she wouldn't see how bad I really felt, and thankfully through the support of my many friends, many of which who don't even know how much they helped, how much they made me stop wanting to think about killing me self and push through and eventually travel onto high school.

At high school it was better than Jr high in a shitton of ways, and by this time I had slowed down on Gaia. Then I met someone near the end of my 9th grade year. Steph.(Who I have a shitton of journal entries about being with already so I'll keep this short.)Now, before I sound like I'm dragging ANYONE'S name through the dirt, I loved the s**t out of this girl, it's just.. things didn't go right, and they went very sour after a year.Throughout high school, she was my reason for moving on, she was my motivation. Ultimately I never had seen a light at the end of the tunnel, but It seemed like, well If I could just get to HER. That if I completed high school, it wasn't the fact that I finally got my diploma, it wasn't the fact that I didn't kill myself in junior high, It wasn't the fact that as hard as I tried not to be like my father I never did become him, It was the fact that she would be waiting there at the finish line to congratulate me, and I had that in my mindset for the longest time. Three years to be exact. However, It went bad. Really bad. After September of 2011 It was falling apart. It fell apart all over the ******** place, fights almost every single day, it just was bad. The distance had just got the best of us, and eventually we just separated around Feb of 2012. My graduation year.
The remainder of my school year was just hell. Again I felt like that small little boy in junior high with the weight of the world on his shoulders and having no on to help him and no one to call on. I had some old friends, and a really caring friend who I really cared deeply for, but no one understood, and I myself understood something too. I needed her because I felt like she was my way out. I was clingy because I didn't want to lose her and be alone and lost like I was all throughout my life. I was scared. I was beyond lost, and broken beyond near repair. I hit rock bottom when it happened. I got extremely sick and ended up stressing my heart enough to the point to where I was out of school for an entire month just because I was so sick and weak I couldn't get out of bed. Stress can do that to you folks, and since that was the icing on the cake it just snapped. Anyway, by this time, I didn't even want to get on gaia anymore and I didn't want to hear anything about it. I was done, I was broken and I just wanted to die. Somehow through my own willpower and my own strength, with a lot of friend help- I pulled through school and ended up walking the stage. Thus completing a huge chapter in my life. Though it didn't feel like much during graduation, I previously had cried my eyes out with my best friend the last day of HS. Not because it was over, but because I made it. I didn't kill myself, I didn't give up, and I was not that much of a failure.

I figured I was going to quit Gaia after that, and be a little more inactive, however over the summer I spent it with an older friend I met when rally came out. Met a bunch of new people and met another girl. She was amazing in herself, we connected on a level I never thought we would. Whilst being plagued by thoughts of my ex and what ifs and regrets of the breakups, I wanted to move on with her. However that had its own issues and I just ended that too. This was around 2013 it ended and pretty much when I really just ended up stopping getting on. Then, when I came back, the inflation as we knew it went MASSIVELY crazy and destroyed the economy. I stopped getting on a lot and I was hesitant to get back on, but I did just for the sake of old times. Come 2014, the near double inflation had TRIPLED making it around 6-7x more inflated than the original economy even was, and with that I just lost interest in Gaia completely, Now? More than likely the inflation is probably horribly high and no one in their right mind will support this money hungry giant that replaced your childhood with cash. It's rather depressing, and sad to see.. from the simple day of when I used to fish in Durem and try to make 22g and 30g to save up for two months for a Gwee the dragon that was 6k at the time, to having people being multi-billionares a dime a dozen. No more focus on art, no more focus on the story, the legacy of gambino, the story of the characters gaia was BASED around, NOTHING. It's turned into greed saturated with sprites and art. From humble beginnings to this? You can see why I believe it's time for me to finally make my exit.
So here we are. At the end of the final chapter, in the book of Gaia.

Gaia for me.. It wasn't just a website. It was something that raised me throughout my teenage years and shaped my view of things. Gaia wasn't JUST another social network.. It was the place where I met some of the best people in the world. If you passed them in real life, you wouldn't even know how great and alive they'd make you feel. How great it is to know a majority of them and how amazing they make you feel. If you lose any hope for humanity and think there are no good souls left, I want you to look at me.. and my story. And I would look you in the eye and tell you, they DO exist. I've spent half my life with some of these people and they're some of the nicest people you've ever met. So what if they're behind a lighted screen, and so what if I cannot hug them or go to the movies with them. They care. They matter, they exist, and most importantly they think you matter.

I have so many other things to say I can't even put into words right now, but one thing I can say.. is thank you Gaia. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for giving me all these wonderful friends. Thank you for teaching me the world is not so bad after all. smilies/icon_heart.gif

And though I have separated from many people, whether on good or bad terms, I will always have my memories of them. And if you've made it this far to read this, goodbye and to those who haven't read it goodbye too.. I'm sorry I didn't get to say it. It's been a long journey, and i've been through a lot. I've grown a lot, and i'll continue to grow and better myself. Remember you guys.. that leaving isn't the end.. it's the closing of one chapter, and the beginning of another.


People I'll Never Forget.(In no specific order)
Rusty
Ryan
Selena
Katie
Loren
Rachel
Dani
Kenisha
Holly
Lily

Those Gone Currently But Not Forgotten
Silas
Alison
Cathy
Steph
Lewin
Talia
Chris

 

Farewell.

 
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