Hello! ...I've been expecting you.
I... am Evil-Travis.
What happened to regular Travis you might ask? Well, I've traveled to this dimension and gotten rid of him! I'm here to wreak havoc and destroy the world!
*Sips evil-drink cheerfully out of evil-goblet and strokes odd-looking beard*
You may be thinking something along the lines of "Is that mountain dew in his goblet?", and to that all I can say is... YOU MAY HAVE DISCOVERED MY SECRET, but all my other secrets are shrouded in mystery... and darkness...
Right about now you're probably wondering when regular Travis will be returning, but I can assure you he's gone as I aforementioned! I'm here to take his place and do evil things... Evil things like this!
*Takes your mouse from you and throws it a few feet away*
"Mildly irritating at best," you say? To that I reply: EVIL!
As to my beard, you may be wondering how I obtained it... As it is my evil-beard I, of course, grew it evilly. If you claim that I drew it on with a Sharpie to see what it would look like, and cannot wash it off, to that I say... Perhaps.